睢园-邓廷桢

ittle corner of the universe. Hey,Bryce. Wanna come climb the tree with me and my brothers? No,thanks. Bryce. Come up here. It's fun. I can't. My dad needs me to help him fix... ...a thing. That's all I needed. Climb up a tree with Juli Baker. I'd be dragged right back into the second grade. Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree. Why don't you just make me eat lima beans for the rest of my life. It's three blocks away. Two blocks. One block away. - Like that's valuable information. - I hate it when she does that. I like to think there's at least a chance the bus won't show. I think the tree looks particularly beautiful in this light. Don't you? If by "beautiful" you mean "unbelievably ugly," then,yes,I would agree. You're just visually challenged. I feel sorry for you. "Visually challenged"? "Visually challenged"? This from the girl who lived in a house that was the joke of the neighborhood? They had bushes growing over windows and weeds all over the place. It bugged my dad bigtime. Oh,there he is. The bricklayer who thinks he's a painter. That truck's not ugly enough in real life? He's gotta make a painting of it? No,he does landscapes. Sells them at the county fair. People say they're beautiful. Landscapes? Let me tell you something. The world would have more beauty in it... ...if he'd do a little landscaping on that piece of crap he calls a yard. I feel bad for his wife. She married a dreamer. Because of that,one of the two of them will always be unhappy. Yeah,fine. But why do we have to be unhappy? As annoying as the yard was to my dad... ...it was nothing compared to how annoying Juli Baker was in that tree. Three blocks away. Every morning we had to listen to the sound... ...of her blow-by-blow traffic report. Two blocks. There you go. Why do they call it The Three Stooges? - I mean,there's five of them. - What? Well,yeah,there's Moe,Larry,Curly, Shemp and Curly Joe. - Yeah,but they only have three at a time. - Yeah. You know,I hate Curly Joe. I mean,he shouldn't even be a Stooge. Listen,girl, I'm this close to calling the police. You are trespassing and obstructing progress on a contracted job. - What's going on? - Either you come down... ...or we're gonna cut you down. - You guys,come up here with me. They won't cut it down if we're all up here. - Bus,bus,bus. - Juli was frantic. They wanted to cut down her tree. I couldn't understand why that mutant tangle of gnarly branches... ...meant so much to her. - Bryce,please. - I felt bad for her. - Leave her. But I wasn't about to cut school over it. Come on,bro. Why isn't she your friend,Bryce? You'd have to know Juli. Well,I'd like to. Why? That girl has an iron backbone. Why don't you invite her over sometime? An iron backbone? She's just stubborn... ...and she's pushy beyond belief. Is that so? And she's been stalking me since the second grade. Well,a girl like that doesn't live next door to everyone. Lucky them. Read this. Without prejudice. Like I needed to know anything more about Juli Baker.
de a huge egg... ...and this monster would open his jaws and start to devour me. I'd wake up just in time. Then the real nightmare began. Hi,Bryce. I brought these over for you and your family. - My chickens are laying eggs. - What? You remember Abby and Bonnie and Clyde and Dexter and Eunice and Florence? - The ones I hatched for the science fair. - How could I forget? It was classic Juli Baker. She totally dominated the fair. And get this,her project was all about watching boring eggs hatch. I mean,here I had a live-action erupting volcano... ...and all anyone cared about was Juli's boring chicks... ...breaking out of their boring shells. Oh,I think the last one's hatching. - It's hatching. - Oh,it's hatching. Kids,come over here. But hey,she won. I lost. I've never been one to dwell. Here it comes. But that didn't mean I had to eat her lousy eggs. I think it was very sweet of Juli to bring us those eggs. I don't care. I'm still having cereal tomorrow. Yeah,how do we know there's no chicks in one of those eggs? I used to eat farm-fresh eggs when I was a kid. They were delicious. Yeah,well,that's all well and good... ...but what if we crack one open and a dead chick falls out? Do they have a rooster? If they don't have a rooster the eggs can't be fertile. And if they had a rooster,we'd know. The whole neighborhood would know. Maybe they got it de-yodeled. "De-yodeled"? You know. De-cock-a-doodle-doo'd. What the hell are you talking about? Like they de-bark dogs. Bryce,why don't you just ask Juli? What? - You afraid to talk to her? - I'm not afraid to talk to her. I know you are,but what am I? - Okay. Just talk to her and find out. - Bryce. How do you tell if one's a rooster? - Well,a rooster's bigger. Longer feathers. - Mm-hm. They've got that red stuff growing out of their head. - And around their neck too. - That shouldn't be too hard to spot. Although,come to think of it, chickens have the rubbery red stuff too. Just not as much. Garrett's expertise in roosters... ...was the cornerstone of our plan to avoid contact with Juli Baker. The balance of which involved spying over her back fence. - Come on,come on. - Shh. Shh. Over here. I can't see the stupid chickens. We gotta get them out of the coop. Is that a rooster? No,it looks like a chicken. How can you tell? It just does. See what I mean? Expertise. - Shh,shh! - What? Juli. Here,guys. Go on,there you go. - Here,guys. Go on. - Yeah,they're all chickens. - There's no rooster? - What did I just say? How can you tell? - Well,none of them are strutting. - Here,come on. - Roosters strut? - Come on,guys. - What did I just say? - Here. Plus,hardly any of them have any rubbery red stuff. - What are you doing? - Yeah. They're definitely all chickens. They're all chickens. I'm proud of you,Bryce. - You overcame your fear. - Huh? - You talked to her. - Oh,heh. Yeah. It's no big deal. That's what she told you? They're all chickens? Yeah. She's a genius. You're both genius... Of course they're all chicke
ns. A rooster's a chicken. The question is: Is one of them a rooster or are they all hens? Hens? Who said anything about hens? Then it hit me. Garrett didn't know jack shit about chickens. - Do roosters strut? - Yes,they do. What does that have to do with anything? They're all hens. Well,the main thing is the eggs are okay. It's all settled. Not for me. There was no way I was ever gonna eat anything... ...that had anything to do with Juli Baker. I'm not eating them. Well,why not? Have you seen their yard? It's... There's not even any grass. It's all mud and chicken turds. Ew. Gross. Salmonella. Do you suppose they could have salmonella? - It's not very likely. - Why take the risk? What do we do with the eggs? Give them back. - Give them back? To Juli? - Sure. You talked to her before,right? It didn't kill you. Well,what do I say? Tell her we don't eat eggs. Uh,we're allergic to them or something. Come on,use your brains. It didn't feel right to lie. Besides,even a seventh grader would know that entire families aren't allergic to eggs. But I didn't wanna hurt her feelings either. So that left me with only one option. And thus another near-death experience... ...in my ongoing saga with Juli Baker had been successfully avoided. Until one week later. Hi,Bryce. Brought you some more eggs. Wow. - Thanks. - Did your family like the first batch? Do you even have to ask? Great. See you at school. What I hoped would be a one-time event... ...was just the beginning of a life consumed with lies,intrigue and deception. Every morning I'd be on the lookout for Juli... ...so if she happened to come,I could whip the door open before she knocked. Thanks. Then I'd dump the eggs before anyone noticed. And why? Why couldn't I just face her? Why couldn't I just say: "No,thanks. Don't want them. Don't need them. Give them to the snake"? Was I really afraid of hurting her feelings... ...or was I just afraid of her? Now,you wanna make sure you get it... When Mrs. Brubeck first suggested hatching eggs as my science project... ...I was less than excited. That is,until I saw my first sign of life. Is that it? Wow. - It looks like a bean. - It does. Let's try the other ones. Suddenly it felt real. All the eggs were alive. There were,like,little bean babies inside every one. On the day of the fair, all six chicks hatched. What are the odds? This year's top prize goes to Juli Baker... ...for her wonderful project: "A Chicken is Born." I won first place. And that was cool, but all I really cared about were my chicks. There you go. There you go,guys. My mom wasn't crazy about us raising chickens. But I begged and pleaded. I told her I would take care of everything. And I did. Where's Clyde? Clyde? Hey,Clyde. What's the matter? Are you okay? Aren't you hungry? Come on. Come here. What's wrong,baby? Come here. Hey,you're not Clyde. You're Clydette. Mom! As it turned out,my hens laid more eggs than we could eat. At first we tried to keep up... ...but after a month of boiling, fryin
g and deviling... ...like that movie The Blob, we were being overtaken by eggs. Then opportunity in the form of our neighbor,Mrs. Steuby,knocked. Hello,dear. If you ever have any extra, I'd be happy to buy them from you. - Really? - Certainly. And I happen to know that Mrs. Helms would be interested as well. - Great. - Nothing like fresh eggs. - Thanks,Mrs. Steuby. - You bet,dear. Bye. Between Mrs. Steuby and Mrs. Helms, my egg overflow problem was solved. Then I realized that Mrs. Loski deserved eggs too. But I didn't think it would be right to charge her. She had been such a good neighbor, lending us supplies when we ran out... ...giving my mother a ride when our car wouldn't start... ...it was the least I could do. Besides,if I happened to run into Bryce, that wouldn't be the end of the world. Hi,Bryce. By the third time I brought eggs over to the Loskis... ...I realized Bryce was waiting for me. Waiting to pull open the door and say, "Thanks,Juli. See you at school." And in return, I got a few moments alone... ...with the world's most dazzling eyes. Thanks,Juli. See you at school. It was a bargain. Until the day it wasn't. It was two weeks after the sycamore tree was cut down... ...and I was just starting to feel normal again. Hey,Juli. Right on schedule. Yeah,well,neither rain nor sleet. - Huh? - You know,the mailman thing? Oh. Right. So,um,will you start riding the bus again? I don't know. I haven't been up there since... It doesn't look so bad anymore. It's all cleared away. Well,um,I better get ready for school. Guess I'll see you there. See you. Maybe Bryce was right. Maybe it was time I started riding the bus again. After all,didn't he just tell me he wanted me to? Could it be that Bryce Loski actually misses me? Juli? What are you still doing here? I was just thinking. It's pickup day. The cans are in front. I know. You need some help? No. Maybe I'll do it later. Are those my eggs? Yeah. Yeah,I dropped them. They're not broken. Why are you throwing them away? Don't you want them? It wasn't me. My dad didn't think it was worth the risk. Risk? What risk? Salmonella. What? He's afraid of being poisoned? Well,Juli,I mean,look at your back yard. It's a complete mess. It's,like,covered in turds. That's not true. I clean up after my girls every day. We just didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Have you always thrown them away? You know,Mrs. Steuby and Mrs. Helms pay me for my eggs. - They do? - They pay me 60 cents a dozen. I didn't know. How could you? I'm sorry. No,you're not. It didn't take me long to realize... ...that I'd traded in my old problems with Juli Baker... ...for a whole set of new ones. It was actually worse having her mad at me than having her annoy me. The way she ignored me was a constant reminder... ...that I'd been a jerk. Then one day I was coming home from playing basketball with Garrett... ...and things got weird. Don't be so timid. Come on,you won't hurt them. - Like this? - Yeah,that's it. My grandfather. All I ever saw

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