《尽善尽美》(As Good As It Gets )英文剧本
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2020年07月29日 19:42
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西安到广州多少公里-有过之而无不及
by
Mard Andrus
And
James J. Brooks
Story by
Mark Andrus
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up
against the cold -- turning back to call inside to the
unseen love of her long life.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I'm just going to get some
flowers, dear. I'll be back in
twenty minutes. It's tulip season
today. I'm so happy.
And now she turns and faces the hallway... her sweetness
dissolves in a flash... replaced by repulsion and that
quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her
apartment... closing the door as we consider her vacated.
POV - MELVIN UDALL
in the hallway... Well past 50... unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he's ever
met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength
is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the
elevator door he holds open.
MELVIN
Come here, sweetheart... come on.
ON DOG
Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.
Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the
mutt who has ignores him.
MELVIN
Wanna go for a ride? Okay,
sweetie?
The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges
and picks him up with a decisive heft -- so that dog
urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG
sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.
MELVIN
(a malevolent tone)
You've pissed your last floor, you
dog-eared monkey.
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much
meaner and quicker than the dog -- he holds his snout
shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the
garbage chute.
MELVIN
I'll bet you wish you were some
sort of real dog now, huh? Don't
worry... this is New York. If you
can make it here, you can make it
anywhere, you know? You ugly,
smelly fuck.
And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and
lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING "ANOOOOS"
from the DOG fade to nothingness... as another apartment
door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON
NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with
Gothic horror and it's strange that what that stew of
trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY - NIGHT
Frantic... he bolts into the hall... Melvin is just about
to enter his apartment.
SIMON
Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie...
He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.
SIMON
Mr. Udall... excuse me. Hey
there!
(as Melvin turns)
Have you seen Verdell?
MELVIN
What's h
ckie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks
some awful, sticky gunk from the dog's body... he puts
Verdell down to reach for his wallet -- the tiny DOG YAPS
in protest.
SIMON
Just for a second, okay?
The DOG YAPS "no." Simon, delighted, picks him up again.
SIMON
(kissing him on the mouth)
Look at him... where was little
baby?
HANDYMAN
(smiling)
In the basement garbage bin eating
diaper shit.
Simon reacts -- then notices the Handyman, tongue in
cheek, trying to suppress his amusement.
SIMON
Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.
(looking at Verdell)
How did he get down in the
basement? I mean even if he got
on the elevator how... ?
HANDYMAN
Maybe some nice neighbor shoved
him down the garbage chute.
SIMON
My God! No!
He stares out... Frank frustrated following.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - OFFICE - NIGHT
Quiet -- safe -- just Melvin's voice reading aloud as he
writes.
MELVIN
'Somewhat in the dark, she had
confessed and he had forgiven.
This is what you live for, he
said. Two heads on a pillow where
there is only the safety of being
with each other. How, she
wondered, could she find such hope
in the most shameful part of her.'
He barely reacts as we hear a LOUD KNOCKING at he reads.
SIMON (O.S.)
Mr. Udall.
But Melvin's into it. His fingers flying as he reads.
MELVIN
'At last she was able to define
love. Love was... '
More KNOCKING.
SIMON (O.S.)
Mr. Udall, I'd like to talk to you
please.
MELVIN
'Love was... '
He almost has the rest of the sentence -- the meaning of
love -- but the knocking throws him.
MELVIN
... Son-of-a-bitch-pansy-assed-
stool-pusher.
He burst from his chair.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - NIGHT
As Simon hears MELVIN through the door and takes a step
back. Melvin throws open the door. He looks demonic.
MELVIN
(loud and angry)
Yeeeess!!!
SIMON
Maybe this can wait.
Frank signals encouragement as Melvin opens the door.
SIMON
I found Verdell, Mr. Udall.
MELVIN
Well, that's a load off.
Melvin walks back into the apartment and is about to
close the door when Simon has another burst of bravery.
SIMON
Did you... do something to him?
MELVIN
Do you realize that I work at
him?
SIMON
(eyes downcast)
No, I didn't.
MELVIN
Do you like to be interrupt when
you are danging around in your
little garden?
SIMON
No... actually, I even shut the
phone off and put a little piece
of cardboard in the ringer so no
o
walk is brisk -- an animal wanting to pass through the
danger without giving off the scent of its mounting fear.
At times he places his palms together and extends his
arms cutting a path through people. We will be very
pointed in the fact that he avoids stepping on cracks.
CLOSER ON MELVIN
His eyes focused on the terrain.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
ANGLE ON WAITRESS
CAROL CONNELLY talks with another MOTHER -- a customer.
You would not guess it, but her working hours tend to be
the most carefree time of the day. She is telling a
story about her son for the umpteenth time.
CAROL
(to the Mother's
little girl)
Look at you, you're all better.
MOTHER
It's that new medication.
CAROL
You know all my son's stuff,
right?
The Mother nods too sympathetically that she does, but
Carol interrupts her.
CAROL
No, no, no, I got a date tonight.
I'm walking out the door this
morning and he says to me, 'Mom,
I promise not to get one of my
fevers or coughs during your
date.'
MOTHER
Isn't that sweet.
CAROL
Little blonde angle.
(to child,
affectionately)
Eat everything.
Melvin enters and moves past several empty tables to a
table towards the back and is obviously surprised to find
a MAN and WOMAN sitting at the table.
WOMAN
It just came out of me. I said
you love me the way a remote
control loves a TV. As long as I
switch every time...
HER MALE COMPANION
Wonderful.
MELVIN
People who talk in metaphors can
shampoo my crotch.
(on their look)
Eat up.
They turn away -- Melvin walks a few paces to the
waitress station where two waitresses, LISA and CAROL,
are talking.
LISA
Pay me back next week.
CAROL
I owe you. I told you today...
them's the rules. Oh, excuse me,
Melvin.
She puts two hands lightly on his waist to move him out
of the way. He gulps at the contact (since no one else
ever touches him) but covers his self-consciousness.
MELVIN
I'm starving.
CAROL
(firmly to Lisa)
Will you please take it?
Melvin intentionally moves a step in her path, with
stealth, so that she must touch him again to get him out
of the way...
LISA
This way you take a cab home so
you have time to get ready for the
date.
CAROL
"Ready" is not my problem.
She barks a mirthless though hearty laugh. If we could
read Melvin which we can't, we'd see him unsettled by the
date talk. To Carol he is as harmless as furniture.
CAROL
(to Melvin)
Go sit down. You know you're not
allowed back here... Spencer's
more excited about it than I am...
He says,
"Mom, I promise not to
get a fever or couch during your date."
The other WAITRESSES and the SHORT ORDER COOK all go
"awww."
CAROL
I know. He's just the best.
MELVIN
I've got Jews at my table.
CAROL
It's not your table. It's the
place's table. Behave. This
once, you can sit at someone
else's station.
The two waitresses signal their protests.
CAROL
Or you can just wait your turn...
Melvin walks back into the restaurant proper... he hangs
near their table... his discomfort builds in this limbo...
then:
MELVIN
How much more you got to eat?
Your appetite isn't as big as
your noses, is it?
WOMAN
What?!!
MAN
(to Woman)
Let's go --
The Woman starts to protest.
MAN
Let's leave. We're going.
Melvin sits down at the table -- and takes from his
pocket a plastic eating utensil set wrapped and sealed.
As he opens his utensils.
CAROL
Bryan says he doesn't care how
long you've been coming you ever
act like this again you're barred
for life. I'm gonna miss the
excitement, but I'll handle it.
There is in Carol's attitude toward Melvin some
ingredient of self-satisfaction -- that she is the only
one in the place who can handle him. She starts to clear
the table.
MELVIN
The table's fine if it had some
cholesterol on it. Two sausages,
six bacon strips, fries, three
eggs over easy and coffee.
CAROL
You're gonna die soon with that
diet, you know that?
MELVIN
We're all gonna die soon. I will.
You will. It sure sounds like
your son will.
ON CAROL
Stunned. Some crazy street-freak has slipped under her
perfect guard and momentarily devastated her. Melvin
senses that he's gone way too far. He wipes his knife.
CAROL
If you ever mention my son again,
you will never be able to eat here
again. Do you understand? Give me
some sign you understand or leave
now. Do you understand me...
(adds truthful label)
you crazy freak? Do you?!?
A beat and then Melvin nods, hardly breathing -- backing
down.
CAROL
Okay. I'll get your order.
She walks away. Melvin watches her, biting his lower
lip. He takes some napkins and cleans the table himself.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
She is underneath a YOUNGER, cuter MAN on the living room
sofa. He is expertly into foreplay. She begins to make
noises as she responds... each time startling herself
with her own noise and trying to reign it in.
She's two women here -- one speeding the pleasure highway
-- the other -- functional mom so blown away by the
emergence of this sexy self that she laughs. The Young
Man stops and looks at her.
ough. I'll bet he drove you
nuts checking your references.
And he turns and sees the naked model.
SIMON
(taken aback)
This isn't a nude.
Vincent moves back to retrieve his clothes.
VINCENT
Just kidding around.
(then mutters)
So much for love.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO (MINUTES LATER)
Vincent is striking blatantly sexual poses to the
increasingly uneasy Simon.
SIMON
Exactly what is your previous
experience?
VINCENT
How about that pose?
(sing-song)
This is not fun...
(then)
Give me some direction.
Vincent has instinctively put Simon on the defensive. He
tries not to show it.
SIMON
Nothing. I just watch till
something strikes me. Do anything
you think of -- try different
thing. Until I say, "hold that
pose." Then just try and
comfortably hold it.
VINCENT
(trying another space)
The fact that you haven't said,
"hold it" means I haven't done it
right... is that correct? I
haven't done it right?
SIMON
No... Okay. What I do is watch
and wait for, um... You ever watch
someone who doesn't know you're
watching... an old woman on a bus,
kids going to school and you see
this flash come over them and you
know immediately that it has
nothing to do with anything
external -- that it's in respond
to a private thought they just
had? They are just sort of realer
and more alive. And when you
notice it so are you. If you look
at someone long enough, you
discover their humanity.
Vincent's slack-jawed expression changes. He feels an
intellectual tingle to be having this conversation.
VINCENT
I know exactly what you mean.
There's a joy in him at this moment -- a bit of purity.
SIMON
Hold it.
Vincent does so -- hums a bit of "Satisfaction" to
celebrate.
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
Carol and LESLIE, another waitress, are waiting for their
order at the cappuccino bar. Leslie is telling the story
of the traumatic audition which may have turned her life.
Carol is rapt.
As they pass Melvin she does not break stride, nor give
him notice. Though she is aware of him -- resentfully so
-- hard not to be since he is giving a moment to moment
commentary on her every action.
MELVIN
Clippity clop -- clippity clop --
she has to pretend she doesn't
hear me. Listening to the story
from the upset friend... now she
drops off the cappuccino and
smiles at the putzette who doesn't
even say, "Thank you." No, the
putzette wanted the whipped cream
so back she goes and now she has
to pass him again and it's getting
tougher to make belie
ve.
CAROL
(reluctant forgiveness)
Okay.
Melvin stops -- she passes behind him to deliver an
uncharacteristic rabbit punch.
CAROL
What's with the plastic picnic
ware? Why not try ours... afraid
it isn't clean?
MELVIN
I see the help -- judgement call.
CAROL
Just give yourself a little pep
talk. "Must try other people's
clean silverware as part of the
fun of dining out."
MELVIN
What's wrong with your son,
anyway?
CAROL
What do you care?
Melvin just looks at her.
CAROL
He's gotta fight to breathe.
His asthma can just shoot off the
charts -- he's allergic to dust
and this is New York and his
immune system bails on him when
there's trouble so an ear
infection... Is this bothering
you?
MELVIN
(caught)
No.
CAROL
An ear infection can send us to
the emergency room -- maybe five,
six times a month where I get
whatever nine-year-old they just
made a doctor. Nice chatting with
you.
MELVIN
His name?
CAROL
Spencer.
MELVIN
Okay.
CAROL
(quietly)
Spence.
She exits.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - STUDIO - DAY (SEVERAL WEEKS LATER)
The greenhouse studio is a busy sanctuary, as Simon puts
the finishing touches on his painting of Vincent. A beat
and then a strange figure crosses between the CAMERA and
the scene -- gone before we can examine him further.
SIMON
You can put on anything you want
now. I might be sort of done
here...
Vincent quickly and expertly picks a CD to meet his
immediate needs and puts it on -- dying a little at every
second of silence during the transition... then LOUD
MUSIC PLAYS... Vincent even GOOSING the VOLUME. Simon
does a take -- he gestures Vincent to take it down --
which Vincent does.
ANGLE - APARTMENT
where it is not clear that a robbery is in progress --
Vincent's two friends from the street sweeping all
objects into large sacks -- one of them, Doug, pauses
to look past the terrace to the studio.
DOUG
Lucky Vinnie -- he's a painting.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT, STUDIO - DAY
MUSIC PLAYS -- Simon cleaning up his stuff.
VINCENT
So you're practically finished,
huh?
SIMON
Yes... well, there's one more
stage -- trying to figure out if
it's any good.
Simon sneaks a look at the canvas from another
perspective... he focuses -- then the smallest shy nod
of self-approval -- he's finished. Vincent is desperate
to distract.
CLOSE ON dog as Verdell awakens, stretches and pricks his
ears. He moves quickly to the closed door and starts to
frantically scratch, attracting Simon's attention.
As Simon keeps walking... Vincent shoots over to the
canvas.
VINCENT
Wait -- I want to see the
painting.
SIMON
Just a second -- he has to go.
VINCENT
Please!! NO!!!
Simon opens the door and Verdell shoots out like a
bullet. Vincent pauses before the painting and is thrown
to see his humanity captured -- to be "immortalized."
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Doug and Evan are nearly to the front door as VERDELL
stops them with a vicious GROWL and BARK.
Simon is distracted -- looking down at his pet so that he
continues to walk toward Doug and Evan, not noticing
them -- Vincent, terribly afraid, appears behind Simon.
SIMON
(to Vincent)
What's the matter, sweetheart?
He instantly stops. Shocked. Frozen. His eyes on the
stranger, Doug, looking at him. Now Vincent comes in.
Doug greets him.
DOUG
Yo.
Simon turns to Vincent.
SIMON
Why are you doing this?
VINCENT
No. No. No. Hey, that painting
in there... I just want to tell
you...
Now Evan appears holding a brass hat rack.
EVAN
(to Vincent)
What are you doing? Cruising him?
And he uses the hat rack first as a spear, then as a
club, as the brief savage attack begins.
ON VERDELL
as he starts to go toward Simon and then scurries back in
fear. The three attackers leave. Now silence. A single
BARK from VERDELL.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DUSK
A mass of OFFICIAL PEOPLE clutter the hall as a gurney is
whisked down to the elevator. It's impossible to tell if
Simon is awake or dead. Melvin is standing against the
wall near his door a cop, RAY, interviewing him.
RAY
Okay. So you call 911 and don't
leave your name -- even a dumb
geezer should know that emergency
automatically pulls up your name.
How come you make a mistake like
that?
MELVIN
How come you're pretending to do
cop work -- 'cause I don't think
you could find your ass if you
were spotted the hole.
RAY
(stunned)
What?
MELVIN
Just move on. No one here killed
him.
RAY
Oh, is he dead?
MELVIN
Ask him.
RAY
We will if we can and if we can't,
we'll come back and ask you again
and again.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY -
ANOTHER ANGLE - NIGHT
Frank standing upset, anxious, holding a dog bowl, a
leash and VERDELL, who is more upset making pathetic
little CRYING SOUNDS.
As we FOCUS BRIEFLY ON Verdell... Frank is talking to the
Sweet-Faced Woman.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I've been praying for him since I
heard.
FRANK
So I've got to get to the
hospital. If you could take the
dog just for
tonight.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
Oh, Lord -- I've got all these
antique knick-knacks... Or else
I'd be glad...
FRANK
Maybe if you kept locked in
the bathroom. No? Okay. Thanks.
(as he turns away and she
closes the door he adds)
Old bitch... Damn dog.
A short laugh makes us realize that Melvin has witnessed
and enjoyed Frank's hostile mutterings...
VERDELL starts WHIMPERING as a pissed Frank approaches
his mugger:
FRANK
You're taking him... yes... you're
taking him -- this will clear the
books. One night. You want to
say "no" to me? Try... because
I've never felt as nuts as I do
right this second. I almost want
you to try saying "no."
MELVIN
(quietly)
I'm not saying nothing to you.
FRANK
Thanks for looking after him.
Frank pushes open the door to Melvin's apartment and
places Verdell inside.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
MUSIC IN: as Frank pulls the door partially closed to
block Verdell's escape.
The music represents Verdell's state of mind -- trapped
in the apartment of the man who tried to kill him. We
STAY with the dog during the O.S. dialogue: As his head
turns in panic we see his various POVs as the dialogue
continues O.S.
MELVIN (O.S.)
Hey, where are you going? You
can't do this.
(calls after Frank)
I can't take a dog.
(a confession)
Nobody's ever been in here before.
FRANK (O.S.)
(threatening)
You don't want to mess with me
today. I'll figure something else
out tomorrow.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Melvin enters -- the dog cowers in the shadows. Now
Melvin sees him.
MELVIN
You're dead!!
VERDELL STOPS -- gives Melvin wide berth -- slinking
along the far wall. Melvin finds Verdell's fear of him a
bit calming.
MELVIN
I don't have dog food. And I
won't want dog food here. You'll
eat what we have. You'll eat what
we eat.
Melvin exits. Verdell is in a major funk.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
Melvin breaks two eggs over a large pile of prime chopped
meat, sticks raw pieces of bacon into it and exits the
room.
MELVIN
Don't you touch anything.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Verdell cringing as his new master approaches -- MUSIC
CONTINUES ominously. Melvin sets the bowl down and
exits... Verdell breathes excitedly though looking
alternately in all directions... his recent past making
him suspect this feast is a trick. He sniffs
cautiously -- then dives in -- GOTHIC MUSIC CHANGING on a
dime TO SCORE his RAPTURE... from O.S. we hear the sound
of RUNNING WATER as steam escapes the bathroom -- then
MUSIC OUT -- as Melvin returns... ignoring Verdell he
sits at the piano and his one key repeatedly. It's odd.
Verdell shifts his body so he is eating from the bowl
with his tail to Melvin. Then Melvin begins to play and
sing Monty Python's "Always Look On The Bright Side Of
Life," with its cheerful whistle refrain. Verdell looks
over with surprise and pleasure. But just as mood lifts
and warmth threatens, Melvin stops abruptly, turns out
the lights and exits.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR - DAY
Frank on the phone.
FRANK
(into phone)
Put the solid red dots on three of
them and the hold blue dots on two
others... Well, we're not going to
sell anything if they know we're
two weeks into a show and have no
sales. No, you can't reduce a
price at this stage... We're in
free fall here. Any calls?
JACKIE
We can see him.
FRANK
I'll meet you in there.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
As Jackie enters.
JACKIE
How you doing, great one?
SIMON
I haven't looked at myself yet. I
figured I could tell from your
reaction.
He turns toward her. Much of his body -- taped -- his
painting hand wrapped. Simon's face is something of a
horror. Swollen, one savage discolored cut. We are into
yuccchhh... The sight is a jolt. Jackie breaks into
tears... sobs, actually.
SIMON
That bad, huh?
They share a helpless half-laugh -- then Frank appears in
the doorway.
FRANK
Hey, hey...
(as he sees him)
Haaa... bad but temporary. The
nurses say it's much better than
you looked three weeks ago... the
hand will come back... they're
sure...
SIMON
Jackie, will you hand me the
mirror?
JACKIE
(a small voice)
No.
She starts to hand him a large mirror from her purse --
then thinks better of it.
JACKIE
Wait, I have a smaller one.
But he holds out his hand and she gives him the mirror --
he starts to look -- then thinks better of it.
SIMON
So, what's new anyway? How's
Verdell?
FRANK
(sheepish)
Your neighbor -- Udall -- is
taking care of him.
SIMON
(suddenly alive and upset)
How could you do that? He'll hurt
him.
FRANK
No, I promise... not a chance. I
own this guy. There was no one
else. I'm on the move too much.
Trust me.
SIMON
You are very certain my dog is
okay... because you have no
idea...
FRANK
Yes. Your dog is fine, Simon.
Simon holds the mirror poised for a moment of discovery,
then he takes a breath -- like someone about to dive
underwater. First a small, mumbled pep talk to himself.
SIMON
Okay, waiting gives the devil
time. Now!
He quickly brings his hand up and
. Melvin laughs out loud -- puts on plastic
gloves hurriedly so he can lift the dog to eye level.
MELVIN
Don't be like me, don't you be
like me. You stay just the way
you are because you are a perfect
man. I'm gonna take you home and
get you something to eat... what
you love.
ANOTHER ANGLE
FEMALE PASSERSBY
(charmed)
Ohhh. I'd like to be treated like
that.
MELVIN
(all smiles to Verdell)
Let's go home and do some writing.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Melvin whaling away at his computer, reading to himself
with great satisfaction as he goes.
Verdell sits at his chair, fascinated by the speed of his
master's fingers on the keyboard. He reads his writing
aloud to the dog.
MELVIN
"He turned off the gas jets and
carried her outside. He kissed
her brow and when her eyes opened
and found him, he said, 'there are
easier ways to break a date.' She
laughed. The only sensible
ambition he had ever known was now
realized. He had made the girl
happy. And what a girl. 'You've
saved my life,' she said, 'you'd
better make it up to me.'"
Exhilarated by his own words, he shuts down the machine...
MELVIN
(singing to Verdell)
Done!
(playing with him some)
Yes, I hate the doggy... yes, I
hate the doggy.
He exits.
MELVIN (V.O.)
Sixty-two books... done!
As the dog goes shooting off to the kitchen we leave our
couple's play time for...
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM/LIVING ROOM/HALLWAY - DAY
As the rookie invalid awakens in precisely the same foul
mood he'd had on falling asleep. In the living room, the
maid, NORA, is talking with Jackie -- we catch only a few
words as they review Simon's mounting pile of bills and
talk of how long Nora can stay on.
INT. NEW YORK APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY
Frank knocking on Melvin's door. He opens it.
FRANK
How's Verdell doing?
MELVIN
He's a pain in the ass.
As he looks over at the dog, Verdell trots over and,
without realizing it, Melvin smiles at him to Frank's
surprise.
FRANK
Simon's home. I was sort of
hoping you could keep the dog
until he's had a chance to think
and adjust...
MELVIN
(leaping at the chance)
It's been five weeks... another
few won't kill me.
FRANK
No. He wants him back. He'll be
by tomorrow.
MELVIN
(too loudly, weirdly)
Okay by me.
Frank exits.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Melvin sits -- Verdell looks up at him. Melvin walks to
the door. He turns the lock... then checks that they are
locked... checks again to make sure he turned them in the
correct directi
on... turns from the door... then back to
check once more. And again... and again... anguished,
until now he breaks briefly, the dog looking on.
INT. NEW YORK BUILDING - MELVIN'S APARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY
Melvin opens the door -- looks at the scarred Simon in a
wheelchair and shudders...
MELVIN
That's some face they left hanging
on you. You look like...
SIMON
(interrupting)
Could you take it just a little
easy, Mr. Udall?
A beat of silence as Melvin thinks whether to comply.
SIMON
Thank you. Verdell... sweetheart?
(to Melvin)
By the way, thanks for saving me.
MELVIN
I called. I never touched you. I
didn't leave my name or nothing.
SIMON
(not listening)
Verdell?
ON VERDELL
Totally weirded out... hiding behind Melvin... now Melvin
shifts and Simon and Verdell see each other... Simon
smiles at the dog... he is emotionally caught up in the
reunion.
SIMON
Hi, sweetheart.
Verdell isn't eager.
ON SIMON
The first gnawing pains of rejection.
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
Simon pats his leg -- trying unsuccessfully to get
Verdell to approach him. Instead the dog goes to the
door and scratches at it. Jackie starts to pick the dog
up.
SIMON
No. Please, don't force him.
JACKIE
(to dog)
You little stinker. He's given
you everything.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
MELVIN'S POV
Verdell's towel on the floor -- near his bowl.
BACK TO SCENE
Melvin's lips compress... he sits on the piano bench and
hits a few keys... looks at Verdell's empty spot again...
there are those who "get the joke" -- Melvin is clearly
one -- he laughs suddenly and helplessly even as he feels
the panic rise in him...
... all his painstaking success in keeping the lid on and
now it threatens to blow for a reason he articulates.
MELVIN
Over the dog... an ugly dog.
It's hilarious. But now the humor detours. An actual
sob is choked back... he gets up -- following a definite
pattern across the room. He is conducting a small but
highest-stakes fight for survival. Momentarily a scared,
beaten middle-aged man -- he races out the door.
EXT. NYC STREETS - DAY
Melvin charging as fast as crack checks allow and then
turning into a building with a copper sign reading
"Grammercy Park Psychiatric Group."
MELVIN
Worst sidewalk in New York and
look where they put in.
INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY
Melvin bursts in on the psychiatrist and emits one word.
MELVIN
Help!
DOCTOR
If you want to see me you will not
do this. You will make an
appointment...
MELVIN
Explain to me how you can diagnose
someone as "obsessive compulsive
dis
order" and then act like I have
any choice in barging in.
DOCTOR
There's not going to be a debate.
You must leave.
The Doctor moves into the hallway, forcing Melvin to
follow.
MELVIN
You said you could help me --
what was that -- a tease?
DOCTOR
I can help you if you take the
responsibility to keep regular
app --
MELVIN
(suddenly)
You changed the room around...
DOCTOR
Two years ago...
Melvin shakes his head -- as if things weren't bad enough
he must go through a careful exercise noting every new
element before he's at all comfortable... as he studies
each object. The Doctor is professionally intrigued
despite himself.
DOCTOR
I also regrew my beard... but
you're not interested in changes
in me... so it's like I always
told you... when it comes to
people you...
MELVIN
Shhhhhhh. I don't have this
mountain of available time... I
got to get to my restaurant on
time. Do you know how hard it is
for me to be here?
DOCTOR
Yes.
(as Melvin starts
for the office)
No.
INT. PSYCHIATRISTS' WAITING ROOM - DAY
More PATIENTS in the almost-crowded waiting room. Melvin
passes through -- visibly drawn and upset. He stops.
Eyes on them. Then:
MELVIN
(to other patients)
What if this is as good as it
gets?
They look stricken. He exits.
INT. CAROL'S RESTAURANT - DAY
As he walks to his booth and sits down. Enormous relief.
CHERYL, a heavy-set waitress, reluctantly moves to his
table -- unseen by Melvin as he takes out his utensils
and arranges them. In a corner booth, four big TRANSIT
AUTHORITY POLICE are having a meal together. Cheryl
looks at his utensils.
CHERYL
What the heck are those for?
MELVIN
No. No. Get Carol.
CHERYL
I'm filling in. We don't know if
she's coming back. She might have
to get a job closer to home.
MELVIN
What are you trying to do to me?
CHERYL
What the heck do you mean?
MELVIN
Hey, elephant girl, call her or
something... just let her do my
one meal here. I'll pay whatever.
I'll wait.
(as she doesn't
budge; he screams)
Do it!!!
The MANAGER comes over, gesturing to the table of police
that he can handle it. All attention is on Melvin.
MANAGER
Out. Be silent or leave.
MELVIN
I'll be quiet. Just let me wait.
No problem. Get her here -- have
her get me two sausages, four
bacon, two eggs over easy and
coffee. I'm not a prick here --
I'm a great customer. This day is
a disaster. I can't handle this,
too.
MANAGER
Get out immediat
ely or there's
going to be trouble.
Melvin looks at the police, sizes up the hopeless
situation and rises.
MELVIN
There's going to be trouble???
He walks toward the door as Cheryl and all the other
employees applaud his defeat. As he passes a BUSBOY near
the door he hands him 20 dollars.
MELVIN
Carol's last name?
BUSBOY
Connelly.
EXT. BROOKLYN STREET - DAY
An uncomfortable Melvin sitting in the back of a taxi.
MELVIN'S POV
A neighborhood in Brooklyn -- a community. Melvin, ever
the shark observer, looks from the cab to see slices of
community life -- MEN in front of a bar, PARENTS giving
their CHILD a ride on a mechanical horse outside a local
store -- two YOUNG WOMEN discuss dating.
EXT. CAROL'S BUILDING - DAY
As he exits -- RINGS the BELL and is BUZZED in.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DOOR/HALLWAY - DAY
Carol opens the door just as he arrives on her landing.
She holds a container of ice, washclothes and a
thermometer.
MELVIN
I'm hungry.
(on Carol's astonished
look)
You've upset my whole day. I
haven't eaten.
CAROL
What are you doing here?
Melvin ignores the question, instead answering a charge
he had imagined she might make...
MELVIN
This is not a sexist thing. If
you were a waiter I would still be
here saying...
CAROL
Are you totally gone? This is my
private home...
MELVIN
I am trying to keep emotions out of
this. Even though this is an
important issue to me and I have
strong feelings about the subject.
CAROL
What subject? That I wasn't there
to take crap from you and bring
you eggs? Do you have any control
over how creepy you allow yourself
to get?
MELVIN
Yes, I do, as a matter of fact...
and to prove it I have not gotten
personal and you have. Why aren't
you at work? You're not sick --
you don't look sick... just very
tired and bitter.
CAROL
My son is sick, okay?
Even saying the sentence, "My son is sick" pushes some
emotions toward the surface which are wasted on the crazy
man at her threshold.
MELVIN
What about your mother?
CAROL
How do you know about my mother?
MELVIN
I hear you talk when I'm
waiting!!!
She crosses to the sink to dump the ice. Melvin takes a
step inside. Spencer, seven and looking ill, walks into
the room.
CAROL
Sorry, honey... I'll be right
there.
MELVIN
(uncomfortably)
How ya doing?
Spencer just stares at him.
MELVIN
(miffed)
You should answer when someone
talks to you...
Carol eyes Melvin with disgust and disbelief then
emphatically gestures
him to "clear out." Melvin backs
out the door.
CAROL
Sorry. There is a limit, Melvin,
and I can't handle you teaching
my son manners.
She closes the door in his face, then walks to her son
and leads him back to his room.
INT. SPENCER'S ROOM
CAMERA MOVES TOWARD mother and son sitting on the edge of
Spencer's bed. She holds a digital thermometer to his
ear. They both count down the seconds.
CAROL AND SPENCER
5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Bingo.
SPENCER
104.9
CAROL
We are going to treat ourselves to
a cab ride.
EXT. BROOKLYN SIDEWALK - ANGLE ON CAROL - DAY
As Carol carries her young son through a class of
uniformed KIDS from a Catholic elementary school. She
spots Melvin about to enter a cab.
CAROL
Melvin, wait!
The school kids pick up the chant in unison.
SCHOOL KIDS
Melvin, wait! Melvin, wait!
Melvin, wait!
He turns to face them.
MELVIN
Shut up, kids!
They immediately obey as Carol approaches him.
CAROL
Melvin... give us a lift. We've
got to go see our friends at the
hospital.
Melvin is thrown... he pauses a beat... then holds the
rear door open as Carol hustles the kid inside. The
maneuver puts the beet red, sweating Spencer at his face.
MELVIN
I'll ride up front. Cover your
mouth when you cough, kid.
INT. BROOKLYN CAB - DAY
As they settle in and drive off.
CAROL
Brooklyn Presbyterian Hospital,
please and quickly please.
EXT. HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
As Carol enters the hospital.
CAROL
(calling back)
I owe you three dollars.
Melvin follows behind her as she carries her son...
MELVIN
Yeah, yeah... any chance you'll
get back to work today?
CAROL
(furiously)
No!!! Stay away from me!
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
Verdell lies just inside the front door whimpering for
Melvin. Jackie sits across from Simon's wheel chair...
she has some index cards in her laps which she
occasionally consults and shuffles.
JACKIE
I feel terrible that I have to...
Simon? Forget about the dog for a
second.
Simon forces his attention to Jackie.
SIMON
Sorry. What are those cards?
JACKIE
(a bit embarrassed)
Frank's idea. He thought I should
have notes so I did this right...
maintained focus, didn't get
emotional and tried not to terrify
you.
SIMON
(scared shitless)
Terrify me?
JACKIE
See, he's right. I need the
cards.
(reading from cards)
Simon, you're broke.
ANGLE ON VERDELL
as their conversation continues -- the dog is distressed.
JACKIE (O.S.)
The medical bill are 61 thousand
no
w. I've spoken to your parents
and they didn't hang up or
anything -- they just said they
would feel strange calling you.
SIMON (O.S.)
Well, I can't reach them.
Verdell walks out on the terrace and looks off. He turns
for:
SIMON
(to Verdell)
Here, baby... what is it,
Verdell?... You miss the tough
guy...
(trying to be
Melvin-like)
Well, here I am, you little pissant
mop, happy to see me? How about
another ride down the chute? Oh,
God... I don't mean it,
sweetheart...
(on Jackie's look)
I'm sorry. I know...
Verdell hides behind a chair.
JACKIE
Frank loves you. You know that...
but I've spoken to him and he
feels that --
(reading from card)
-- as a businessman, with limited
resources...
SIMON
I'll be able to keep my apartment
and studio, won't I?... Just tell
me.
As Jackie looks at him then thumbs for a card.
SIMON
(overwhelmed)
Wow...
Verdell has come near him -- he reaches out a hand to pet
the dog and the dog ducks.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - DAY
He is trying to write. He can't. His world has been upset.
He walks away from his work -- a highly unusual act. He
is distressed -- and then an idea and he exits.
INT. PUBLISHER'S OFFICE - DAY
We are looking at ZOE, the receptionist. She is listening
with interest to an O.S. conversation while answering
phone calls, "Premier Publishing."
FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)
Yes, you write more than anyone
else. Yes, you make us a lot of
money, but isn't there someone
more appropriate to...
MELVIN (O.S.)
I need this. Just say, "Melvin,
I'll try," okay?
FEMALE EXECUTIVE (O.S.)
(resigned)
Melvin, I'll try.
They appear now -- the woman tall, attractive, etc. She
pauses at the elevator.
FEMALE EXECUTIVE
Now, on a pleasant note, our son
got accepted at Brown. My
husband...
MELVIN
(curtly)
Great, wonderful. I don't need
you to wait with me.
She nods, pissed, waves and leaves. As Melvin waits, Zoe
summons her moxie.
ZOE
I can't resist. You usually move
through here so quickly and I have
so many questions I want to ask
you. You have no idea what your
work means to me.
MELVIN
What's it mean?
ZOE
That somebody out there knows what
it's like to be...
(taps her head and heart)
in here.
MELVIN
Oh God, this is like a nightmare.
ZOE
Aw come on, just a couple of
questions -- how hard is that?
As he hits the button, wipes his fingers, hits the button
etc.
ZOE
How do you write women so well?
MELVIN
(as he turns
toward her)
I think of a man and take away
reason and accountability.
The fan is jolted as the elevator doors open and close.
EXT. STREET NEAR CAROL'S BUILDING - DAY
A depleted, exhausted Carol approaches her home. She is
suddenly wary -- SOUND DIALED DOWN -- as we MOVE CLOSER.
CAROL'S POV
A car at the curb with "MD" license plate.
BACK TO SCENE
As Carol breaks into a run.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING, STAIRWAY/HALLWAY - DAY
As she bounds the stairs, comes to her apartment door and
jiggles with the keys, a strange prescient whimpering
sound coming from her. As she enters the apartment.
CAROL
Hello? Hello?
VOICE (O.S.)
Mrs. Connelly, I'm in here.
The worst confirmed, she moves down the narrow hallway,
her innards squirting the same chemicals that drives elk
on opening day of the hunting season.
INT. SPENCER'S ROOM - DAY
CAROL
What? Please? Now? Tell me?!
DR. BETTES
Mrs. Connelly. I'm Martin Bettes
... Dr. Bettes.
CAROL
Not your name... what are you
telling me your name for!! Where
is he?
DR. BETTES
He's in the bathroom... He's fine.
CAROL
(overlapping)
Tell me how bad it is. I let him
go out last night when it was so
cool without an overshirt -- just
and underone with just the straps
and I know better... and I let him
talk me into it. He was whining
and... you don't need this. Give
me a second to catch hold.
And so she does. Wow does she... and gives us some
notion of the size of her fear demon and the strength it
takes to subdue it as Dr. Bettes keeps reassuring her and
she keeps nodding... finally a deep breath as Spencer
enters from the bathroom. All at hyper speed now.
Salvation as farce.
SPENCER
(to his mother)
Hi...
(they kiss)
Did you know there are doctors who
come to your house?
CAROL
No, I didn't.
(to Bettes)
So why are you h...
Beverly, Carol's mother, enters the room. She is ebullient
which, if life allowed, would be her natural state.
BEVERLY
I didn't know you had a secret
admire.
CAROL
Huh?
BEVERLY
You met the gift.
SPENCER
He's good... And I'm an expert on
doctors.
CAROL
(to Spencer)
Stay out of this... Doctor?
DR. BETTES
My wife is Melvin Udall's
publisher.
(as Carol reacts)
She says I have to take great care
of this guy because you're
urgently needed back at work.
What work do you do?
CAROL
I'm a waitress.
ON Dr. Bettes' reaction her mother adds a saving grace.
BEVERLY
In Manhattan.
VOICE (O.S.)
Dr.
NORA
You poor, poor man.
SIMON
Let's use just one poor, okay?
Anyway, dear, thanks for
everything. Forgive my recent
crankiness and as soon as things
are on track again I'll call.
She kisses him and starts for the door and suddenly a
sharp intake of breath -- she's forgotten something.
SIMON
What's wrong?
NORA
Who's going to walk Verdell?
Simon hadn't thought of this either.
SIMON
No, no.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - HALLWAY - DAY
Nora holding her things, knocks on Melvin's door. Melvin
opens the door. Nora is still sniffling. He misinterprets.
MELVIN
Is he dead yet?
NORA
No! Would there be any way for
you to be willing to walk his dog
for him?
MELVIN
Absolutely.
NORA
Not just today -- Uh, could you
do it -- until, until he gets
back on his feet?
MELVIN
Sure thing.
NORA
You're a wonderful man. Two
o'clock is a good time. Here's
the key in case he's asleep. Open
the curtains for him, so he sees
God's beautiful work and knows
that even things like this happen
for the best.
MELVIN
Where'd they teach you to talk
like this -- some Panama City
"Sailor want to hump-hump bar"?
Or was today getaway day and your
last shot at his whiskey. Sell
crazy some place else -- we're all
stocked up here.
He closes the door in her face. She stands there...
thrown by the abruptness -- then lifts the two paper
shopping bags holding her things -- walks back toward the
elevator -- pausing briefly outside Simon's door -- then
continues on her way.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT
The doctor gone, mother and daughter arguing.
CAROL
There is a seriously goofy man
behind this. You are not allowed
to block out that fact.
BEVERLY
Do you really want to go back to
the runt doctors in Emergency who
keep telling us they can't help?
CAROL
It lets a crazy man into our
lives.
BEVERLY
Come on. Why fight when we know
how it will come out. This isn't
like stocking or a string of
pearls. You don't send this one
back.
EXT. NEW YORK APARTMENT - ESTABLISHING - DAY
INT. SIMON'S APARTMENT - DAY
Shades drawn. Simon is a wheelchair... the PHONE RINGS.
He goes to answer... the phone across the bed so that
reaching for the phone is a brief but difficult
struggle... he grunts with pain, hope and anxiety as he
answers.
SIMON
Hello?... yes... sure... finally,
huh? Why, "finally"? Because I
called you so many times. Maybe
20.
(relief)
Oh, boy... I was hoping it was
something like that. You did
n't
get one of them, huh? 'Cause I
mean it wasn't only your office --
it was your home, hotel and the
cigar club you like in San
Francisco. No -- Sarcastic... Of
course. I believe you. No, don't
fire anyone... Please. Maybe I'm
wrong about the 20 times. Take a
breath...
(more)
So, you miss me a little? Hey,
strike the question -- How's the
case going? Really. Fantastic.
I didn't hear. I haven't been
watching. Great. Just great.
I'm so happy. Whoopie! Me?
Well, I'm mending. No, I look
fine. Well, some of the damage
might still be noticeable if you
look closely...
He runs a hand across his scarred and still bloated and
beaten face...
SIMON
Carl, I need some help and you're
the logical one to turn to.
(aghast)
No! Not 'cause I blame you for
what happened. I hardly get how
you can ever think that. No, I'm
not being sarcastic.
(trying to figure it
out)
I guess because you hired the guy
who did this you think... No, I am
a sarcastic person. Well, if
you must know, the reason I said
you were the logical person is
because you always told me how you
thought I was this great person
who made you feel good about
humanity and everything. You do
remembering saying that? Well, whew.
Okay, so Carl. I hate asking but
this money thing is ridiculously
serious...
He picks up an index card from his night stand and takes
the leap -- reading the text he prepared in advance.
SIMON
"Will you please loan me money? I
will pay you back. I will give
you whatever percentage of my
income I don't absolutely need
until I do. It will take a while.
But I don't know what I'll do if
you say"... that.
(as he listens)
I understand... yes... No, I do.
(a bit of boldness)
But you know, you know -- you
didn't even ask how much, Carl?
Well, Frank has no right to
discuss how much I'm in hock...
no, you're right -- not the point.
So... what have you been up to???
Uh-huh... Oh, the group show...
how was it? Well, I'm not
surprised that there's that much
talent around... great... Look --
gotta go... no, you shouldn't feel
that way at all... take care, you,
too... you, too... Good-bye.
(as he hangs up)
Pal o' mine.
It's very quiet.
LONG SHOT - SIMON
A lonely figure -- who now holds his good hand up to his
face and appears on the verge of enormous emotional
release -- CAMERA MOVES TOWARD him as if to rendezvous
with the moment of catharsis...
... but Simon is denied even this small luxury as the
d not knowing where to
take it from here.
MELVIN
I'm glad we did this.
He rises and makes an awkward exit.
MELVIN
Good talking to you.
He exits -- Simon puzzled and concerned.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Carol seated working on a letter... She is trying to
express her gratitude... An enormous sheaf of completed
pages sit next to her... She is so involved she doesn't
even look up as a young man, SEAN, knocks on the door and
is let in by Beverly.
They exchange greetings and move inside where we faintly
hear Spencer greeting him... We MOVE IN and read over
Carol's shoulder -- "I'm sorry to have gotten sloppy and
emotional in this letter, but it would have been on my
conscionce (sic) forever if I didn't tell you how
gratefull (sic)... "
BEVERLY
You're not still writing that
thank-you note?
CAROL
I'm on the last page. How do you
spell conscience?
BEVERLY
C-o-n-s-c-i-e-n-c-e. I got Sean
from the bakery to baby-sit so
let's go out.
CAROL
I still don't feel safe leaving
Spencer with someone. How do you
spell it again?
BEVERLY
Spencer is okay. You'd better
start finding something else to do
with your free time. If you can't
feel good about this break and
step out a little...
(struts and pumps
her arms)
You ought to get Mr. Udall to send
you over a psychiatrist.
CAROL
(more emotionally
than she intended)
I don't need one 'cause I know
what's really going on here. I
have to finish this letter or
I'll go nuts.
(looking at paper;
weepy)
This can't be right -- con-
science.
Carol breathes heavily -- gets control, stopping herself
on the brink of crying.
BEVERLY
Carol. What?
Carol is amazed at herself... that she might not be able
to stem the flow... wide-eyed with apprehension, she
looks at her mother, who, in return, only nods permission
for Carol to let it go. A last defiant snort from Carol
-- and then she is overwhelmed. The headline comes first.
CAROL
I don't know... It's very strange
not feeling that stupid panic
thing inside you all the time.
Without that you just start
thinking about yourself -- and
what does that ever get anybody.
Today, on the bus there was this
adorable couple and I felt myself
giving them a dirty look -- I had
no idea everything was...
BEVERLY
Go ahead.
CAROL
(great, forceful
hand gestures)
... moving in the wrong
direction... Away from when I
even remembered what it was like
to have a man to... anything...
hold fucking -- sorry -- hands
with, for Christ's
someone.
ON MELVIN & FRANK
MELVIN
It's not my dog and this Simon
seems to have enough on his mind
-- but he did throw up twice and
his spark is off.
FRANK
Sure -- take him to the vet.
MELVIN
I did. And his stomach is out of
whack. So they need him for a
couple of days.
FRANK
Do it.
CAROL
Melvin.
She self-consciously hands him with the thick envelope.
MELVIN
What's this?
CAROL
(sotto)
A thank-you note for what you did
for me.
He hands it back to her deliberately. She takes it and
walks back to the service area where, embarrassed,
confused, and messed with -- she tosses the note.
After Carol leaves...
FRANK
She's nice.
MELVIN
(to Frank)
Really nice. Shouldn't that be a
good thing... telling someone,
'no thanks required.'
FRANK
It looks like it really went over.
You're sure making the rounds.
Simon says you brought him soup
last night. I hope he doesn't
write you a note.
Melvin looks up -- wary -- his brain sends a disturbing
message.
FRANK
What?
MELVIN
"What?" Look at you... You sense
a mark.
FRANK
Hey -- you called me... I...
MELVIN
About a dog.
FRANK
Yeah, but it's all about Simon
now... you helped with the dog...
And now there are other things.
I'm just as concerned as you are
about Simon.
MELVIN
Concerned. I'm just the hall
monitor here.
FRANK
It's not only financial
assistance. What he's got to do
is go to Baltimore tomorrow and
ask his parents for money. It's
not going to happen on the phone.
MELVIN
Yeah. If his parents are alive
they've got to help -- those are
the rules. Good.
FRANK
Yes. And tomorrow? I have a high
maintenance selling painter coming
through... So I'm out. Can you
take him?
MELVIN
Think white and get serious.
Carol enters scene.
FRANK
Take my car -- a convertible. Do
you drive?
MELVIN
(loudly)
Like the wind but I'm not doing
it.
CAROL
Getting loud, getting loud.
MELVIN
He wants me to take his car and
his client to Baltimore.
CAROL
I want your life for a minute
where my big problem is someone
offers me a free convertible so I
can get out of this city.
She exits. Frank prepares to depart.
MELVIN
Okay. I'll take him. Get him
packed -- ready -- tomorrow
morning.
Frank stumbles back... self-satisfied, he relaxes.
MELVIN
(excited)
Okay... so I'll see you to
morrow.
Let's not drag this out. We don't
enjoy another that much.
FRANK
If there's some mental health
foundation that raises money to
help people like you be sure to
let me know.
MELVIN
Last word freak.
Frank adjusts and exits... Carol approaches calling a
"good-bye" to him.
CAROL
So. Anything else?
MELVIN
Yes. I'm going to give my queer
neighbor a lift to Baltimore.
CAROL
Okay.
MELVIN
Hey, what I did for you is working
out?
CAROL
(a breath; then)
What you did changed my life.
She offers him the note.
MELVIN
No... no thank you notes.
CAROL
Well, part of what I said in this
entire history of my life which
you won't read is that somehow
you've done more for my mother, my
son and me, than anyone else ever
has... And that makes you the most
important, surprising, generous
person I've ever met and that you
be in our daily prayers forever.
MELVIN
Lovely.
CAROL
I also wrote one part... I wrote
I'm sorry... I was talking about I
was sorry when I got mad at you
when you came over and you told my
son that he ought to answer back
so I wrote that.
(reading from the
letter, Melvin
wildly uncomfortable)
I was sorry for busting you on
that... and I'm sorry for busting
in on you that night... when I
said I was never... I was sorry
and I'm sorry every time your food
was cold and that you had to wait
two seconds for a coffee filler...
Melvin wants to disappear but Carol is getting into it --
emotionally moved by her own words.
CAROL
... and I'm sorry for never
spotting, right there at the table
in the restaurant, the human being
that had it in him to do this
thing for us... You know what, I'm
just going to start from the
beginning... I have not been able
to express my gratefulness to
you... even as I look at the word
"grateful" now it doesn't begin to
tell you what I feel for you...
And finally Carol notes Melvin's mood and pauses.
MELVIN
Nice of you... thank you.
CAROL
Thank you.
MELVIN
Now I want you to do something for me.
She looks at him for a very strange, long beat.
CAROL
Oh, I'm sorry... Didn't I say,
"what?" I thought I said,
"what?"... What?
MELVIN
I want you to go on this trip.
CAROL
No, sir...
MELVIN
I can't do this alone. I'm afraid
he'll pull the stiff one eye on
me. I need you to chaperon.
Separate everything but cars. You
said you liked convertibles
. Now
I'm on the hook.
CAROL
The stiff one eye?
MELVIN
Two days.
CAROL
I can't. I work.
MELVIN
You take off when you have to.
CAROL
My son.
MELVIN
Bettes tells me he's doing fine.
CAROL
(no other way)
Melvin, I'd rather not.
MELVIN
What's that got to do with it?
CAROL
Funny, I thought it was a strong
point.
MELVIN
Write me a note and ain't she
sweet. I need a hand and where'd
she go.
CAROL
Are you saying accepting your help
obligates me!?
MELVIN
Is there another way to see it?
CAROL
No.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Carol takes an old weekend case down from the top shelf
of the closet.
CAROL
Well, here's a little suitcase
shocked that it's been used.
She holds up a dress -- a pretty one... then decides it's
too pretty and puts it back... Now she looks in another
drawer and pauses as if she ponders one of the mysteries
of the ages. She hesitates then talks to herself.
INSERT -- UNDERWEAR DRAWER
Her best underwear neatly stacked alongside her everyday
"girl Jockies." She fingers the good stuff -- puts it
back -- then the everyday -- hesitates.
CAROL
(furiously exasperated)
There's not way to pack for this
trip... well, I'll tell you -- I'm
not packing the camera.
As she exits the room --
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT
As she picks up the phone.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Melvin is in his bedroom -- everything he's taking neatly
stacked on the bed waiting to be packed (he is taking a
camera). He has a list of what he needs. All items --
underwear, socks, etc... with four checks next to each
one and still he -- checks each stack on the bed and adds
another check. The PHONE RINGS. This is an amazing
development. He has almost no recent experience with
receiving a nighttime phone call. He makes a little
comment to himself as he moves.
MELVIN
Woo-woo.
He stops -- briefly trying to remember where the phone is
-- and then, remembering, crosses and picks it up but
before bringing it to his mouth nervously clears his
throat.
ON CAROL
As she hears his throat being cleared. It is not a
pretty sound. (The following conversation is INTERCUT.)
CAROL
Hello?
MELVIN
Are you still coming?
CAROL
Yes.
Melvin visibly relaxes.
CAROL
Melvin... I'd like to know exactly
where we are going.
MELVIN
Just south to Baltimore, Maryland.
So I know what you're going to ask
next.
(correcting himself)
That you might ask -- I'm not
certain.
CAROL
There's... the
re's no need to
bring anything dressy... or... I
mean -- I didn't know if we'd be
eating at any restaurant that
have dress codes.
MELVIN
Oh.
(a beat)
We might. Yes. We can. Let's.
CAROL
Okay, gotcha. What did you think
I was going to ask?
MELVIN
Whether crabs are in season there
now...
CAROL
Oh. Okay, then -- Melvin. Good
night.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - BEVERLY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Beverly looks up expectantly as her daughter enters.
BEVERLY
How was it talking to him?
CAROL
Stop treating this like I'm going
away with a man. He's just going
to say those crappy, sick,
complaining, angry things to me.
I hate this, Mom -- I hate this.
He's a freak show -- the worst
person I ever met.
BEVERLY
Well, maybe he has nice friends.
EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
Beverly and Spencer wait with her. The bus approaches.
She kisses them.
CAROL
(to Spencer)
You stand there and I'll wave to
you from the back window.
As she boards the bus.
BEVERLY
Call me as soon as you're settled.
CAROL
(to Spencer)
I love you.
The bus driver closes the doors on her -- she shoves them
open.
CAROL
(to bus driver)
Sensitive, huh?!
The bus pulls out. He runs after the bus -- waving at
his mother who grows concerned that he might be taxing
himself.
INT. VETERINARIAN'S WAITING ROOM - DAY
A female VETERINARIAN in surgical scrubs holds Verdell as
Melvin finishes filling out some forms.
On opposite sides of the waiting room, a very large black
dog and a tiny Chihuahua sit patiently with their owners.
VETERINARIAN
Anything unusual in the dog's
diet?
MELVIN
No. Everybody gets their own
cage?
VETERINARIAN
Certainly.
MELVIN
(pointing to
Chihuahua)
Put him in with that one, not that
one...
(pointing to large
dog)
... Builds his confidence.
EXT. BUS STOP NEAR APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY
Carol disembarks.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - DAY
As she walks and turns a corner.
CLOSE ON CAROL
The shot of the prisoner taking the walk toward the death
chamber. But the prisoner -- has grit -- her knees do
not buckle. She does not whimper. No prison "screws"
will have to support her weight. Still, the prospect
couldn't be grimmer.
CAROL'S POV
Melvin next to a spiffy convertible. Top down. Trunk open.
CLOSER ON MELVIN
He is wearing driving gloves and turns to witness the
tussle Frank and Simon are having just inside the
building.
FRANK
I'm sorry that I'm not taking
you.
SIMON
(upset)
So am I, Frank.
Frank starts to leave -- Simon stops him. They embrace.
MELVIN
Soak it up -- it's your last
chance at a hug for a few days.
As Frank moves off Melvin sees Carol and his demeanor
changes... that quickly there is a shyness.
CAROL
Hi.
MELVIN
Thanks for being on time... Carol,
the waitress, this is Simon, the
fag.
CAROL
Hello... Oh, my God, who did that
to you?
SIMON
I, uh... I was... attacked.
Walked in on people robbing me. I
was hospitalized. I almost died.
MELVIN
Let's do the small talk in the
car. Load up.
Carol puts her bag in the car.
MELVIN
I was going to do that for you.
CAROL
(taken aback)
It's okay. No problem. Where
should we sit?
MELVIN
(totally non-plussed)
I -- uh, I... Well, there is no
place cards or anything.
CAROL
(to Simon)
Let me go in back. You look like
you need all the room you can
manage.
SIMON
That's very thoughtful.
MELVIN
Never a break. Never.
Carol steps into the back. Melvin disappointed that he's
not sitting next to Carol... Carol is wedged in the small
back seat. She struggles to get her feet in.
MELVIN
You're really jammed back there.
He reaches for the latch between his legs and slides his
seat and, with some effort, wrenches it forward giving
Carol more room and putting his right against the wheel.
She is startled by the gesture.
CAROL
Thanks, Melvin.
MELVIN
Welcome.
And off they go. Simon and Carol stunned by the manners.
EXT. 12TH STREET
Turning onto Fifth.
MELVIN
I got the whole ride programmed.
CAMERA FOLLOWS as Melvin goes to a rack of CDs -- all
carefully labelled. He selects and begins to play the
one marked "ICEBREAKER." It is a song which we clearly
and quickly judge as off the circumstances -- a quick
burst of "Y.M.C.A." Melvin STOPS the MUSIC and chuckles.
MELVIN
Just wanted to see what you'd do.
No, we have greatness here.
He goes for another CD labelled "FOR USE TO REP THINGS
UP."
The car turns onto Seventh as we hear BEAUTIFULLY
SELECTED MUSIC.
CAROL (O.S.)
Hey, I like this music.
And, as the MUSIC PLAYS, Simon looks out.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
The three of them... Carol chattering away.
CAROL
I don't know the last time I've
been out of the city... Hey, my
arms are tanning. I used to tan
great. We gotta stop soon so'se
I can check on Spencer.
SIMON
(during the above)
I'm sorry... I can't hear you. I
can't turn my head all the way
yet... tell her we can't hear her.
MELVIN
Doesn't matter. She's
enjoying
herself. Consider it part of the
music.
EXT. ROAD - DAY
A short time later. Carol is now driving.
CAROL
I'm sure, Simon, they did
something real off for you to feel
this way... But when it comes to
your partners -- or your kid --
things will always be off for you
unless you set it straight. Maybe
this thing happened to you just to
give you that chance.
MELVIN
Nonsense!
CAROL
Anybody here who's interested in
what Melvin has to say raise their
hands.
Simon does not raise his hand. Simon and Carol have thus
declared their majority.
SIMON
Do you want to know what happened
with my parents?
CAROL
Yes. I really would.
SIMON
Well...
CAROL
No, let me pull over so I can pay
full attention.
Car pulling over toward parking spot.
EXT. HIGHWAY - CURBSIDE - CONVERTIBLE - DAY
She takes the car curbside and parks.
CAROL
Now go ahead.
Simon looks back at Melvin as does Carol. He looks
innocent. Several beats -- Melvin almost says something
-- a hidden hand gesture from Carol stops him. Finally.
SIMON
Well, I always painted. Always.
And my mother always encouraged
it. She was sort of fabulous
about it actually... and she used
to... I was too young to think
there was anything at all wrong
with it... and she was very
natural. She used to pose nude
for me... and I thought or assumed
my father was aware of it.
MELVIN
This stuff is pointless.
CAROL
Hey -- you let him...
MELVIN
You like sad stories -- you want
mine.
CARL
. Go ahead, Simon. Really.
Please. Don't let him stop you. Ignore him.
SIMON
Okay. Well, one day my father
came in on one of those painting
sessions when I was nine -- and he
just started screaming at her --
at us -- at evil. And...
MELVIN
(very quickly)
... my father didn't leave his
room for 11 years -- he hit my
hand with a yardstick if I made a
mistake on the piano.
CAROL
Go ahead, Simon. Your father
walked in on you and was yelling
and... really, come on.
SIMON
I was trying to defend my mother
and make peace, in the lamest way.
I said, "she's not naked -- it's
art." And then he started hitting
me. And he beat me unconscious.
After that he talked to me less
and less -- he knew before I left
for college, my dad came into my
room. He held out his hand. It
was filled with money. A big wad
of sweaty money.
(gathers himself)
And he said to me, "I don't want
you to ever come back." I grab
tie.
EXT. FIRST RATE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
As he pulls up - a new VALET taking his car.
VALET #2
Good evening.
MELVIN
You have hard shells?
VALET #2
I'm not sure.
MELVIN
Everyone else says you do.
VALET #2
Then I guess we do.
INT. FIRST RATE RESTAURANT
As he enters, looks for and then spot Carol. She is
having a martini at the bar... Sitting on a stool --
watching COUPLES dance... Happy by herself... Turning
down a MAN who wants to buy her another... And Melvin
watches... Watches his date.
HEAD WAITER
Shall I get her for you?
MELVIN
No, it's all right. I'll just
watch.
He enjoys watching her for a few more beats... She turns
-- Melvin makes a "Haul your ass over here" gesture...
and she smiles and walks toward him... A WAITER has
lifted her drink -- placed it on a tray and follows her.
She takes a bit of a slalom course through the tables,
giddy as the MUSIC PLAYS and couples dance in the b.g.
She notices the waiter in her trail.
CAROL
(mouthing the words
to Melvin)
My drink is following me.
Melvin watches her approach. It is all too exquisite.
He takes a breath -- it doesn't come easily.
CAROL
You look s...
She stops herself from saying "sexy," regathers, then...
CAROL
You look great.
They arrives at the table. He holds out her chair for her.
CAROL
You wanna dance?
MELVIN
I've been thinking about that
since you brought it up before.
CAROL
(rising)
And?
MELVIN
No...
(and before she can
digest that)
... I don't get this place. They
make me buy an outfit but they let
you wear a house dress. I don't
get it.
ON CAROL
Melvin has no idea he has insulted her. Sandbagged in
extreme, she gets up -- actually ready to leave.
MELVIN
No. Wait. What? Why? I didn't
mean it. You gotta sit down. You
can still give me the dirty
look... just sit down and give it
to me.
CAROL
Melvin, pay me a compliment... I
need one and quick... You have no
idea how much what you said just
hurt my feelings.
MELVIN
(really pissed,
mutters)
That monominute somebody gets that
you need them they threaten to go
away. Never fails.
CAROL
That's not compliment, Melvin...
That's just trying to sound smart
so I feel stupid... A compliment
is something nice about somebody
else... Now or never.
MELVIN
Okay.
He waves her down.
CAROL
(sitting)
And mean it...
MELVIN
Can we order first?
She thinks and then nods. The waiter is across the room.
This does not stop Melvi
n.
MELVIN
(calling)
Two crab dinners and pitcher of
cold beer.
(to Carol)
Baked or fries?
CAROL
Fries.
MELVIN
(calling)
One baked -- one fries.
STARTLED WAITER
(shouting back)
I'll tell your waiter.
MELVIN
(to Carol)
Okay, I got a real great
compliment for you and it's true.
CAROL
I am so afraid you're about to say
something awful...
MELVIN
Don't be pessimistic. It's not
your style. Okay... Here I
goes... Clearly a mistake.
(this is hell
for him)
I have this -- what? Ailment...
And my doctor -- a shrink... who
I used to see all the time... he
says 50 or 60 percent of the time
a pill can really help. I hate
pills. Very dangerous things,
pills. "Hate," I am using the
word "hate" about pills. My
compliment is that when you came
to my house that time and told me
how you'd never -- well, you were
there, you know... The next
morning I started taking these
pills.
CAROL
(a little confused)
I don't quite get how that's a
compliment for me.
Amazing that something in Melvin rises to the occasion --
so that he uncharacteristically looks at her directly --
then:
MELVIN
You make me want to be a better
man.
Carol never expected the kind of praise which would so
slip under her guard. She stumbles a bit -- flattered,
momentarily moved and his for the taking.
CAROL
That's maybe the best compliment
of my life.
MELVIN
Then I've really overshot here
'cause I was aiming at just enough
to keep you from walking out.
Carol laughs.
CAROL
So how are you doing with those
pills? Well, I hopahopahopa.
MELVIN
Takes months to know... They work
little by little.
(holds his head;
then)
Talking like this is exhausting.
Carol moves to the chair next to him... She sits very
close -- he tenses.
CAROL
Have you ever let a romantic
moment make you do something you
know is stupid?
MELVIN
Never.
CAROL
Here's the trouble with never.
TIGHT SHOT
for the kiss. Their faces are close -- she looks at
him... She closes her eyes -- her face moving toward him
-- he is wide-eyed and afraid... His face almost moves
away -- in a shot this close it's almost flight... But
now his head moves back and he receives her kiss. It is
brief. Carol smiles encouragement to him and herself.
Melvin can't bear the pleasure.
MELVIN
You don't owe me that.
CAROL
That wasn't payment. When you
first came into breakfast, when I
saw you -- I thought you
were
handsome... Then, of course, you
spoke... So now that your soft
li'l underbelly is all exposed.
Tell me, why did you bring me?
Melvin's voice is soft -- hesitant, okay, vulnerable...
as he holds up his hands in a "stop" signal.
MELVIN
Well, ah... that's a personal
question.
CAROL
Tell me even if you're scared.
Tell me why you wanted me here.
It's okay.
She kisses him again.
CAROL
If you ask me... I'll say, "yes."
MELVIN
(dissembling)
There are lots of reason... I had
a thought that if you had sex with
Simon it might...
CAROL
(humiliated)
Sex with Simon?
MELVIN
It's one idea...
CAROL
That's why you brought me? Look
at me! Is that really why you
brought me... Like I'm a what and
I owe you what?!
MELVIN
I don't know why I brought you --
that idea occurred to me is all...
It came out first... Hey, you kiss
him -- me... He says he loves
you. You two hit it off. But you
don't want to... fine... Forget
what I said about sex with Simon.
It was a mistake.
CAROL
(wiping away tears)
I'll never forget you said it.
MELVIN
It was a mistake.
But she has already turned away and exits the
restaurant... Melvin alone and miserable.
INT. SIMON'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
He finishes dialing. He is extremely tense -- not
breathing -- a lump in his throat -- trying not to let
the anxiety immobilize him... the NUMBER RINGS twice,
then a humorless male voice:
PARENTS' VOICE
(humorless male
voice)
Hi. This is Fred Bishop...
(perky woman's
voice)
... and Betty.
(Fred again)
We are sorry to be unable to take
your call right now. Please leave
a message and we'd appreciate your
including the time/date and
purpose of your call.
(Simon mouths the
word "date," then
Betty speaks before
the beep Bye-bye.
SIMON
Ah, this is Simon... I'm here in
town...
(he waits)
... and, folks, you haven't come
home later than 10 in your lives.
Please pick up -- really...
Okay... I'm going to call again in
the morning. I need to see you.
Or, at least get you to answer the
phone.
He hangs up. His parents want no part of him and he
needs help.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - CAROL'S ROOM - NIGHT
As Carol enters with some energy. We FOLLOW her as she
goes into her room -- takes her suitcase, begins throwing
things in.
INT. HOTEL SUITE - SIMON'S ROOM - NIGHT
SIMON
Hello... Hello???
Carol thrusts open the door and enters...
SIMON
Was this supposed to be your ro
op you a
note from wherever I land and then
it's up to you. I hope we patch
things up but know that if we
don't, I wish you both the very
best... I can't hear you. You
heard me, though, right? Good --
take good care. 'Bye.
He hangs up, totally satisfied with himself and rips over
to Carol and Melvin.
MELVIN
... Now he's going to want to
stay. And they'll want to take a
ride to the lake or whatever. So
it's a good five hours back. It
gives us a chance to take it easy
and...
SIMON
I'm going back with you.
CAROL
But what about...
SIMON
I'll take care of myself --
MELVIN
What are you talking about? You
got real problems.
SIMON
I know. I'm a little bit nervous.
Suddenly everything seems so easy.
Carol, a load has been lifted.
CAROL
One night with me!
SIMON
You think you're kidding.
Melvin stalks out.
EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY
The car parked near a phone booth --
MELVIN
(to Frank over
the phone)
Aww Jesus! No choice.
Carol walks up to Simon in the car.
CAROL
I got a gift for you.
She hands him a base ball cap.
MELVIN
(on phone)
Nothing like no choice to make you
feel at home.
CAROL
(to Simon)
Let me see... Ahh, gorgeous!
MELVIN
Do it then. Get the dog picked
up. I can't believe you let it
stay there.
Melvin hangs up the phone.
MELVIN
Good-bye.
(to Simon)
Well, your luck is holding. They
sublet your place. You're
homeless. Frank's got a line on
another place you can use for now.
SIMON
Another place where?
MELVIN
Does it matter?
Melvin gets in -- goes to the glove compartment for a
special CD labelled "For Emergency Use Only." As it
PLAYS a confessional love SONGS:
CAROL
I don't want to hear that music
right now.
MELVIN
What do you mean? You said you
liked it.
CAROL
I don't.
MELVIN
This one has a special meaning.
CAROL
It's your car but I don't want to
hear it. If that means anything.
Melvin hesitates and then turns OFF the SONG in mid-
proclamation of love.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK) - NIGHT
As the car arrives... They get out...
MELVIN
Here are the keys to my apartment.
I'm going to park you in my place
while I take Carol home.
CAROL
(hefting bag)
I'll take a bus.
MELVIN
I'll take you... why not?
CAROL
I don't care what you did for me.
I don't think I want to know you
anymore -- all you do is make me
feel badly about m
nds the phone. We hear him pick it up and:
SIMON (O.S.)
Hello.
ON SIMON
SIMON
(into phone)
Hello. It's me. He took me in.
Did you know? Hold on, I'll get
him for you.
He walks back to Melvin's room.
INT. MELVIN'S ROOM - NIGHT
As he enters.
SIMON
It's Carol.
Melvin is quickly out of his chair -- the dog in one
mitt... he thrusts it at Simon.
MELVIN
Here. Take the dog.
As he speeds him out...
SIMON
Good luck.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
As Melvin picks up the phone... He clears his throat
loudly. Following is INTERCUT between Carol and Melvin
-- the first such CUT showing Carol blasted by the throat
clearing.
MELVIN
Hello.
CAROL
Yeah... Well...
MELVIN
(very concerned)
How you doing?
CAROL
I can trust my brain.
MELVIN
That seems like a good choice.
CAROL
I don't know whether I'm being
sensible or hard on you.
MELVIN
The two might go together.
CAROL
See. There's an example. I don't
know whether you're being cute or
crazy now.
MELVIN
(what the hell)
Cute.
CAROL
You don't have to answer
everything I say. Just listen to
me. Okay?
He nods his head, "yes."
CAROL
It's really something that you're
looking after Simon. And what I
said on the street. That was a
bad thing to say. And it made me
sick to my stomach. It was a bad
thing to say. And I'd be lying if
I didn't say that I enjoyed your
company... but the truth is you do
bother me enormously and I know --
think -- that it's best for me to
not have contact with you because
you're just not ready and you're a
pretty old guy to not be ready...
and I'm too old to ignore that.
But there were extraordinary
kindnesses that did take place.
So thanks for the trips...
She's just broken up with him but she's being nicer than
ever. It's hard to know whether to die or not.
MELVIN
Okay to say something now?
CAROL
Go ahead.
MELVIN
I should've danced with you.
CAROL
Okay. Good-bye.
MELVIN
So long.
Carol hangs up. She feels strange. A shoe hasn't dropped.
Oh, hell... she missed him.
INT. MELVIN'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Melvin walks in anxious circles in the living room. He
is impatient.
MELVIN
You going to come talk to me or
not?
SIMON
I'm coming.
We enters the room carrying Verdell who strains to be
allowed closer to Melvin. Simon releases him.
SIMON
What did she say?
MELVIN
I'm a great guy --
"extrao
rdinary"...
(before Simon can
celebrate)
... and she doesn't want contact
with me.
(a beat)
I'm dying here.
SIMON
Because...
(gently)
... you love her?
MELVIN
(sharply)
No... and you're supposed to be
sensitive and sharp.
SIMON
Okay... you tell me why --
(mimics him)
"You're dying here."
MELVIN
I don't know... Let me sleep on it
and figure it out.
(then)
Because I'm stuck! Can't go back
to what I had... She's evicted me
from my life.
SIMON
Did you like it that much?
MELVIN
(furiously)
It was better than this... Look,
you, I'm very intelligent. If
you're going to give me advice or
conversation or consolation or
hope, you got to be better than
you're doing. If you can't be at
least momentarily interesting than
shut the hell up. I'm drowning
and you're describing water.
SIMON
(getting pissed)
Picking on me won't help.
MELVIN
Well, if that's true then I'm
really in trouble.
SIMON
But you know where you're lucky?
MELVIN
Absolutely not.
SIMON
You know who you want. I'll take
your seat any day. So do
something... don't sleep on it...
go over there. I don't think
anybody should ever sleep on
anything -- it's not always good
to let things calm down.
MELVIN
Hey... I'm charged here. But she
might kill me for showing up this
late.
SIMON
Then get in your jammies and I'll
read you a story... I think you've
got a chance. The only real enemy
you have is her ability to think
logically -- the best thing you
have going for you is your
willingness to humiliate yourself
if it gives you one chance in
whatever -- so go catch her off-
guard.
MELVIN
Okay. Thanks a lot. Here I go.
He moves for the door... stops suddenly, jolted.
SIMON
What's wrong?
MELVIN
I forgot to lock the door.
EXT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING (CAROL'S NEIGHBORHOOD) -
NIGHT
As he parks. He exits the car -- now wary... looks at
his watch... hesitates... walks reluctantly into the
apartment house.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT BUILDING - VESTIBULE - NIGHT
As Melvin looks at Carol's doorbell with great
uncertainty.
INT. CAROL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Carol in a cotton wrap-around dress/bathrobe... sitting
directly in front of a fan... the windows open, reading
one of Melvin's books...
There is the briefest possible sound of a DOORBELL...
someone has jabbed her downstairs button ever so briefly
-- so briefly that she's not certain it's her DOORBELL --
until