自考英语(二)上册 第二十三课
温柔似野鬼°
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2020年07月29日 22:51
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景阳冈缩写-意外的反义词
Non-verbal Communication
If anyone asked you what were the main means of communication between people, what would you say? That isn't catch question. The answer is simple and obvious. It would almost certainly refer to means of communication that involve the use of words. Speakers and listeners - oral communication, and writers and readers - written communication. And you'd be quite right. There is, however, another form of communication which we all use most of the time, usually without knowing it. This is sometimes called body language. Its more technical name is non-verbal communication. Nonverbal, because it does not involve the use of words. NVC for short.
When someone is saying something with which he agrees, the average European will smile and nod approval. On the other hand, if you disagree with what they are saying, you may frown and shake your head. In this way you signal your reactions, and communicate them to the speaker without saying a word. I referred a moment ago to "the average European", because body language is very much tied to culture, and in order not to misunderstand, or not to be misunderstood, you must realize this. A smiling Chinese, for instance, may not be approving but somewhat embarrassed.
Quite a lot of work is now being done on the subject of NVC, which is obviously important, for instance, to managers, who have to deal every day with their staff, and have to understand what other people are feeling if they are to create good working conditions. Body language, or NVC signals, are sometimes categorised into five kinds: 1. body and facial gestures; 2. eye contract; 3. Body contract or "proximity"; 4. clothing and physical appearance; and 5. the quality of speech. I expect you understood all those, except perhaps "proximity." This simply means "closeness". In some cultures - and I am sure this is a cultural feature and not an individual one - it is quite normal for people to stand close together, or to more or less thrust their face into yours when they are talking to you. In other cultures, this is disliked; Americans, for instance, talk about invasion of their space.
Some signals are probably common to all of us. If a public speaker (like a professor, for example) is all the time fiddling with a pencil, or with his glasses, while he is talking to you, he is telling you quite clearly that he is nervous. A person who holds a hand over his mouth when he is talking is signalling that he is lacking in confidence. If you start wriggling in your chairs, looking secretly at your watches or yawning behind your hands, I shall soon get the message that I'm boring you. And so on. I'm sure you could make a whole list of such signals - and it might be fun if you did.
All the signals I have mentioned so far can be controlled. If you are aware that you are doing these things, you can stop. You can even learn to give false signals. Most public speakers are in fact nervous, but a godd speaker learns to hide this by
giving off signals of confidence. Other kinds of NVC are not so easy to control. Eye contact, for instance. Unless you are confessing intense love, you hardly over look into someone else's eyes for very long. If you try it, you'll find they will soon look away, probably in embarrassment.
I've already mentioned proximity, so just a brief word now about our last two categories, which concern the way people dress and the way they speak. These are both pretty obvious signals. People may dress casually and speak casually, which signals that they are relaxed. Or they can dress formally and speak formally, showing their tenseness. In fact, non-verbal communication can, as the saying goes, speak volumes.
非语言的文字的交际
假如现在有个人问你，什么是人与人之间的主要交际手段，那么你会说什么？这并不是一个能把人难住了的问题。这个答案简单而又明确。这几乎可以肯定，指的就是用语言文字作为交际手段。讲话的人和听讲的人用口语进行交际，而写家与读者用书面文字进行交际。对了，你答得相当正确。但是，还有一种交际方式是我们大家在不知不觉地大部分时间都在使用的，这就是我们有时称为的身体语言。身体语言的更加专业化的名称就是非语言交际。之所以称为非语言文字的，就是因为这种交际是不用语言文字进行的。缩写是|NVC。
当某人谈了某件事，大多数的欧洲人若是同意了某人所说的事，那么这个欧洲人就会微笑并点头表示同意。相反，若是你这个欧洲人不同意他们所说的事，那么你可能皱眉并摇摇头。用这种方式你表示了你对他们所说的事的反应意见，你就一句话也没说就把你的反应意见传达给了跟你讲话的人。我刚才提到"绝大多数欧洲人"，因为身体语言与文化习俗有很大的联系，为了不致误解别人或为了不被别人所误解你必须意识到这一点。例如，一位华人在微笑时很可能并不表示同意，很可能表示某种有点难为情不好意思。
关于"非语言文字的交际"这一研究课题现在正进行相当大量的工作。比如说，这一研究课题对于经理、总管之类的人员来讲，很显然是重要的。经理之类的人员每天都必须同员工们打交道，并且必须明白，如果经理人员能创造出一个良好的工作环境，那么别人都会有什么感觉。有时可以把身体语言，或者叫非语言文字的交际信号，分成五大类：（1）身体的姿态和面部表情；（2）目光的接触；（3）身体的接触或者"亲近度"；（4）衣着打扮和天生的长相；（5）讲话的态度攻内容。我想，也许除了"亲近度"而外，这一切你都明白。这就是讲"亲近到什么程度"。在某些文化习俗当中--我敢肯定这是某一民族的风俗文化的特征，而不是某一个人的习惯特征--当人们
在跟你谈话时，跟你站得很近或者或多或少地把脸巾近了你的脸，这都是十分正常的。而在另外一些民族的文化习俗当中，这样做是人们所不喜欢的。例如，美国人认为你侵犯了他们的隐私空间范围。
也许有信号是我们大家所共有的。如果一位公开演讲的人，在给你们作报告时，他老是在摆弄一支铅笔或者是摆弄他的眼镜，那么，他这是很清楚告诉你，他心情很紧张。一个人如果在谈话时总是用一只手罩着嘴，这就表明他缺乏自信。如果你们开始不能安稳地坐在椅子上，开始偷偷地不时看看钟表，或者你们开始用手捂住嘴打哈欠来，那么，我将会马上得到一个信息，那就是我使你们感到厌倦了。如此等等。我敢肯定你们会把这类感到厌倦的信号列出一整张纸来--如果你们现在就写的话，可能会很有趣。
我上面所提到的这些信号都是人们可以控制的。如果你意识到了你正在做那些小动作，你就会停止不做了。甚至你们还能学会发生假装出来的信号。事实上绝大多数公开发表演讲的人都心情紧张，但是一位擅长演讲的人会发出自信心很强的姿态信号来掩饰紧张的心情。另外几种非语言文字的交际就不是很容易控制的了。比如说目光接触吧。除非你坦白承认你深深爱上了她，要不然的话你就不会长时间地凝视着她的眼睛。如果你将来试一试凝视她的眼睛，你就会发现她会扭转头把眼睛挪开看其他地方，也许是出于难为情吧。
我上面已经把"亲近度"解释过了。现在用简明扼要的话讲讲最后两大类语言文字交际信号。这两类涉及到人们穿着的方式和讲话的方式。这两在类都是很明显的交际信号。凡是穿着随随便便而讲话又漫不经心的人，这些信号都说明这些人的心情很轻松。如果人们穿得整整齐齐地，讲起话来一本正经，这表明他们的心情很紧张很不轻松。事实上，非语言文字的交际，含义是很深的。
第23课B
Body Talk
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes take an almost immediate liking to a person you have just met? Or worried about why someone you were talking to suddenly became cool and distant? The chances are that it wasn't anything that was said but something that happened: a gesture, a movement, a smile. Social scientists are now devoting considerable attention to "non-verbal communication," what happens when people get together, apart from their actual conversation.
Professor Erving Goffman of the University of Pennsylvania is involved in a continuing study of the way people behave in social interaction. He feels that gestures, movements and physical closeness have meaning which the words that the people are using do not carry.
The closeness of two people when talking, movement towards and away from each other, and the
amount of eye contract all reveal something about the nature of the relationship between the two individuals. We tend to be only subconsciously aware, if at all, of the various patterns and rituals of social behavior. We expect other people to act according to the same "rules" that we do, so much so that the manners and behavior of persons from another culture can be extremely confusing.
Fox example, North Americans tend to expect more physical distance between two speakers than do Latin Americans. Consequently, when the Latin American seems to be leaning too close, the North American complains of "invasion of his space." The Latin American, on the other hand, often considers the North American to be "cold" or "distant" because he keeps a greater distance between himself and the person he is speaking to.
Eye contact is one way of measuring the degree of closeness of relationship between two speakers, although there are cultural variations in the meaning of eye contact. In the Middle East, for example, it is considered extremely provocative for a woman to let a man catch her eye, let alone return his gaze. Social psychologist Michael Argyle observes that there is more eye contact between people who like each other than those who are indifferent or hostile towards each other. And the longer the length of the gaze, the more likely it is that the listener is more interested in the person who is speaking, than the actual topic of conversation. Frequently looking down can indicate submissiveness or embarrassment. Looking away repeatedly may express boredom or dislike. Women tend to engage in more eye contract than men, especially when talking to other women.
But too steady eye contact can make one feel uneasy at times. Most people become uncomfortable under the intense gaze of a stare. One scientist suggests that perhaps one reason that man becomes tense under the force of a stare is in his biological ancestors: in apes, a stare signifies aggressiveness and hostility. The person who insistently fixes his eyes on our face is often more successful in arousing our dislike than impressing us with his directness and sincerity.
Similarly, the smile cannot always be interpreted as a sign of friendliness. The person who smiles almost constantly and with little apparent reason makes us uneasy. Even though he may believe that he is expressing friendliness, he may really seem nervous and tense. In other animals, bared teeth are a warning gesture, a danger sign.
Genuine warmth or interest can be revealed in the eyes, suggests Dr. Eckhard Hess of the University of Chicago, who believes that the pupils of the eyes can indicate emotion or interest. The opened pupil tends to be associated with pleasant, satisfying experiences. That special sparkle in the lover's eyes need not be fantasy, for love may make the pupil grow larger. Sometimes when we feel that a person is "warm" or "friendly", it is possible we are reacting to a form of non-verbal communication - his
opened pupils.
The next time you are at a party, take note of some of the silent messages being sent around you. Notice which persons seem to draw naturally together to speak, which others try to stay further apart or even avoid meeting each other's eyes. You may find that this silent language is much more fascinating than the actual conversation going on around you.
身体语言
你有没有想过为什么有时你刚刚见到了一个人，你就会立刻喜欢上这个人？或者你有没有因为一位正在跟你谈话的人突然态度变得很冷而又疏远，这使你心情感到焦虑不安？这很可能并不是因为你说错了什么话，而是因为你的一个手势、一个小动作、一个微笑引起的。社会科学家们现在特别注意"非语言文字的交际"，即当人们到一起时，除了人们实际上所谈的话而外所发生的事情。
宾夕法尼亚州立大学欧文o高夫曼教授一直不断地在研究社会效中人们行为的方式。他认为每做一个手势、每个动作和身体亲近的程度都有着人们的语言所表达不出来的意义。
交谈着的两个人的亲密程度，动作上的互相接近或疏远以及两个人目光接触的次数及接触时间的长短，所有这一切都能表明两人之间是哪一种关系。一般我们对社会行为的种种规范和礼仪，即使知道该怎么做，也常常是通过下意识才意识到的。我们期待着其他民族也按着我们做事的同样的"规矩"办事，以致于来自其他民族文化的人们的待人处事的态度和行为举止可能会令我们感到极端地困惑不理解。
例如，北美洲的人和拉丁美洲比较起来，北美洲的人希望两个谈话的人之间的距离稍大一点。因而，当拉丁美洲的人似乎把身子凑得离谈话对方很近的时候，北美洲的人就会抱怨说你"侵犯了他的私人窨"。相反，拉丁美洲的人经常认为北美洲的人待人都很"冷淡"或"疏远"，因为北美洲人自己总是跟谈话对方之间要保持较大的距离。
目光的接触是衡量两个谈话人之间关系亲密程度的一个标准，尽管在不同的民族文化中对目光接触的意义有所不同。例如，在中东，如果一位妇女惹得一个男子的注目，就被认为是带有极端的调逗调情的性质，更不用说回眸再去凝视那个男人了。社会心理学家迈克o阿吉尔觉察到对方的次数和时间，要比两个互相冷漠甚至敌视的人互相看对方的次数和时间要多。听讲话的人若是凝视讲话的人的时间越长，越有可能是，听讲话的人对讲话的人本人的举大过于对他所讲的真正的话题的兴趣。低头往下看通常都表示顺从或不好意思。反复地扭转头看别处可以表达厌烦或不喜欢。妇女比男人更喜欢用目光接触，特别是在和另外一些妇女谈话时更是这样。
但有时死死地盯着看人，会使人
感到不安。被人家盯着看，这会使大多数人感到不舒服。某一位科学家说，人类受到使劲地盯视时会感到紧张，这其中的原因之一就在人类的生活学上的始祖身上：在类人猿中间，瞪着眼睛盯着看，就意味着要侵犯和要敌对。一个人若是用他的两只眼睛始终不停地直直地看着我们的脸，这样做不但不会给我们留下这个人很直率很真诚的印象，反而会引起我们的反感。
同样道理，微笑也并不能总是解释为友好的表示。如果一个
人老是朝着我们微笑，又没有明显的理由，就会使我们感到不安。即使这个人自己认为他是在向你表示友好，很可能让人觉得那人很紧张很不自然。在其他动物中间，呲牙是警告的姿势，是一种危险的信号。
真正的热情和兴趣可以从眼神当中表现出来，这是芝加哥埃克哈特o赫斯博士提出来的。他认为眼睛的瞳孔可以表达感情和兴趣。瞳孔扩张一般总是与愉快的令人满意的经历有关。情人眼神中闪现出的神采不一定就是你的幻觉，因为爱情可以使瞳孔扩大。有时我们觉得某人"热情"、"友好"，这很可能是我们对他所用的非语言文字的交际形式作出了反应--他的瞳孔扩大了。
下次你参加社交聚会时，多留意一下你周围的人所传送的无声的语言信息。注意一下，哪些人很自然地就聚扰在一起谈话，注意一下还有哪些人互相间尽量离得远些，甚至尽量避免接触对方的目光。你会发现这些无声的语言远远比你周围的人所实际进行的有声的交谈更能触动人们的心灵。