男女搭讪的心理学 The Hidden Purpose of Chat-up Lines

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2020年07月30日 15:30
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The Hidden Purpose of Chat-up Lines

[Photo by Farfarm]

New research suggests men's choice of chat-up line may help quickly select for women
with particular personalities.
When it comes to the human mating game, men are often portrayed as having little power
or guile. Research finds it is women that control early interactions, from first signalling the
man to approach to deciding whether to engage in sex. One area in which men are
popularly seen as especially inept is in their choice of chat-up lines. Leading the field in
crass openings are sexually-loaded remarks.
Indeed, a study by Chris Bale from the University of Central Lancashire found that
sexually-loaded remarks were the type of openers least likely to lead to further interaction
(Bale, 2006). Which begs the question: why do men still use them?
Chat-up lines as selection tool
An ingeniously simple answer is suggested by both Bale (2006) and Cooper et al. (2007),
with some evidence to back it up. Chat-up lines may be a way for men to select for a
particular type of woman. In other words, men using sexually-loaded remarks are looking
for a certain type of woman (an easy one). Similarly, at the other end of the scale, men
who use character-revealing or culture- based openers are probably trying to show they are
a good mate looking for a long-term partner.
That's the theory and here's how Cooper and colleagues searched for evidence.


The study first asked participants to consider a series of scenarios in which men tried to
strike up a conversation with a woman. In each the man used a different type of approach.
Participants were then asked to rate how likely it was the conversation would continue on
the basis of that opener.
These 'lines' were collated from a variety of sources and clustered into the following
categories:
1. Good mate - these included comments that made reference to culture, character or
wealth. E.g.
2. Compliments. E.g.
written all over you.
3. Sex. E.g.
to the head.)
4. Humour.
So, now we know, generally speaking, how our female participants react to these four
broad types of male approaches. Next we need to find out what types of men the female
participants prefer.
Four types of men
For this they complete the Dating Partner Preference Test. An analysis of these results
suggests women see men as generally falling into one of four types:
1. Nice guy. Yes, he's helpful, he's considerate, he's appreciative. He's a puppy.
2. Provider. Man go into woods, kill pig. Bring fire. Build log cabin. All warm and
fed.
3. Leader. He's chatty, confident and strong-willed - a captain of your heart?
4. Bad mate. Fickle, conceited, dependent. All wrong for you. But there's something
about him...
Along with these vignettes and the Dating Partner Preference Test, participants were asked
to fill in personality measures of their psychoticism (tendency for inappropriate emotional
responses and recklessness), extraversion (being outgoing, gregarious, externally oriented)
and neuroticism (the tendency to experience negative emotional states). Now we've got all
the information we need to see if there's any connection.
Results


Looking at the correlations shows there is support for the idea that chat-up lines select for
women with particular personalities.
Women high in extraversion preferred the male 'leaders'.

Women high in neuroticism preferred the 'nice guys'.

Women high in psychoticism rejected 'nice guys', preferring the 'bad mate'.

It does seem, then, that the type of chat-up lines men choose does have a measurable effect
on the types of women who respond to them. This can effectively allow men to make a
quick assessment of a woman's personality by their response to a particular type of
approach. Those looking for a 'bad mate' might use a sexually-loaded remark or a
compliment, while those wanting an extrovert should use a joke.
Men's perceptions of women's lines
I have focussed on women's perceptions of male chat-up lines as in most cultures it's
mostly the men using the lines, although this is changing. Perhaps to reflect this men's
perceptions of women's chat-up lines were also included in this study.
The results for men's perceptions showed that in comparison to women, men were more
likely to prefer chat-up lines involving sex (surprise surprise!) as opposed to women who
preferred humour. Men also tended to be worse than women at judging what types of
chat-up lines women prefer. The types of chat- up lines whose effectiveness was
under- estimated by men were those involving offers of help to women, handing control of
the interaction to women and (subtly) displaying wealth (surprise surprise!).
Caution
The correlations seen between personality measures and ratings of chat-up lines were not
particularly high (between 0.2 to 0.4). This means that only a small proportion of the
change in personality measures is associated with the chat-up lines (between 4% and 16%).
So, it's far from the only thing affecting chat-up line responses, but there is still some
effect.



男女搭讪的心理学 The Hidden Purpose of Chat-up Lines
似乎无关要紧的搭讪,并非无关紧要,无论对于男性还是女性,搭讪背后似乎隐...


第一次和她他见面,该说些什么?似乎无关要紧的搭讪,并非无关紧要。对于女性来说,从男性的搭讪语,你可以迅速知道他要寻找的是哪种类型的对象;对
于男性而言,如果你 要找的是外向型女子,最好是多开几个玩笑。一般来说,外
向型女子最喜欢“领导者”类型的男子,而精 神质的女子(表现为孤独、冷酷、
敌视、怪异等),则偏向于薄情的坏男人。且慢,PSYTOPIC提 醒您:虽然个性
特征和搭讪语有相关,但并不意味着个性是影响搭讪语的唯一因素,实际上个性
对搭讪语的影响仅在4%-16%之间。-
PSYTOPIC概述:
在初期的相互接触中, 也就是从男性发出想要亲近的信号一直到决定是否要发展
到性接触的那段时间,女性总是处于控制地位。 大部分男性总是在某一方面尤其
显示出他们无能的一面——搭讪语的选择。如果你的搭讪语中充满性的暗 示,结
果将会很糟糕,以充满性暗示的开局者得到进一步发展感情的机会是最少的。
一般来说:
外向型女子喜欢“领导者”类型男子
神经质女子最喜欢“好男人”类型
精神质女子最讨厌“好男人”,偏向“坏男人”类型
什么是外向型、神经质、精神质?
外向型:喜欢外出,爱与人交往,外向型导向的,表现为内,外的差异
神经质:擅长体验负面情绪,情绪比较不稳定
精神质:常有负面情绪反应和暴力倾向,表现为孤独、冷酷、敌视、怪异等偏于
负面的人格特征


什么是“领导者”、“好男人”、“坏男人”?
领导者:他总是喋喋不休,自信并且意志坚定
好男人:他是个好帮手,很体贴,他很让人欣赏
坏男人:薄情,自以为是,不可靠
正文开始:
一项新的研究调查显示,男子选择的 搭讪语可以迅速的帮助他们挑选出特定个性
的女性。当在类似于相亲会的场合中,男性总是希望把自己描 绘成是一个不怎么
强势,不怎么有城府的类型。研究发现,事实上在初期的相互接触中,也就是从
男性发出想要亲近的信号一直到决定是否要发展到性接触的那段时间,女性总是
处于控制地位。而大部 分男性总是在某一方面尤其显示出他们无能的一面——搭
讪语的选择。于是给求爱这场追逐赛一个十分粗 糟的开始:充满性的暗示。
兰开夏中心大学的Chris Bale的一项研究也确确实实发现:充满 性暗示的开局者
得到进一步发展感情的机会是最少的。(Bale,2006),于是这就提出了一个问 题:
如果结论真是如此,为什么男人还是要用充满性暗示的搭讪语来做开场白呢?
搭讪语=选择工具
Bale (2006)和Cooper et al. (2007)在 一些证据支持他们的观点下,简单而睿智的回
答了这个问题:搭讪语对男人来说是一种选择特定类型女子 的手段。换一种说法
便是,男人用充满性暗示的话题作开场白是为了寻求特定类型女子。当然在另一方面,选择性格展现或者是传统搭讪话作开场白的男人,他们同样也可能在试着
表现自己是一个好的 伴侣同时表现自己正在寻找一段真爱。
那么现在我们就来说下Cooper和他的同事是如何寻求这一理论依据的。
试验最初,要求 参加者们考虑一系列可能的情节,在这些情节下,男子会尝试和
女子展开对话。每一个场景,男子都需要 用不同的方式去接近女子。随后参加者
们便被要求评估那些基于不同方式展开“攻势”的交流能够继续下 去的可能性大
小。
如果您对这篇文章感兴趣,相信你会对PSYTOPIC同样感兴趣,网址是
,这次点击不会 浪费您的时间。这是Psytopic的指纹密码:
aHR0cDovL3d3dy5wc3l0b3B pYy5jb20v,您可以凭这个指纹在google搜索到我们的
网站。
那些台词经多种途径比较后归入以下几类:


1. 优秀伴侣——这些台词常常 涉及到文化,特征,或者是财富。例如:你知道
吗?这个神奇的东西我曾经在泰德现代博物馆中见过。( 泰德现代博物馆 Tate
Modern 全世界最著名的当代艺术博物馆之一。)
2. 恭维。例如:你就是当代维纳斯啊!(oh,NO!太肉麻了吧!)
3. 性暗示。例如:我虽然不是Fred Flintstone,但是我一定能为你做张石床。(欠
扁!)
(Fred Flintstone 摩登原始人的主角,在一采石厂工作。具体这句话为什么很有性暗示含义,大家可以自己猜测下~Psytopic成员ling向外籍友人求助下稍微明白
了一 点,给个提示:我们自家的床从来不是用石头做的阿!)
4. 幽默。例如:我能给你买座小岛吗?(真不错~)
那么现在,大体上来说,了解了我们女性参加者对这 四类男性接近者得反应。下
一步我们就是要找出女性参加者喜欢的是什么类型。
男子的四种类型
这一次,参加者完成了一系列约会伴侣表现的测试。分析这些结果显示女性通 常
都会明显偏向四个类型中的一个:
1. 好男人。是的,他很有帮助,他很体贴,他很让人欣赏——他就是会
让人喜欢。

2. 养家者。他走进丛林,猎杀食物。带来火种。建了座小木屋——那么
温暖那么有家的感觉。

3. 领导者。他总是喋喋不休,自信并且意志坚定——是你心灵的导航者?

4. 坏男人。薄情,自以为是,不可靠的——他完全配不上你。但是他身
上总是有些东西,让人…

通过设想情节以及约会伴侣表现测试,参加者被要求完成一些列性格测试,测试
他 们的精神质(对于负面情绪反应和暴力的趋向性。表现为孤独、冷酷、敌视、
怪异等偏于负面的人格特征 ),外倾性(喜外出的,爱与人交往的,外向型导向
的,表现为内,外的差异)和神经质(体验负面情绪 的趋向性,表现为情绪稳定
性的差异)。现在我们得到了所有我们所需要的信息,那么就让我们看看这两 者
之间是不是有什么联系。
结果
察看相关性,我们可以发现,搭讪语的确可以选择特定性格的女性。




外向型女子最喜欢“领导者”类型的男子。
神经质女子最喜欢“好男人”类型的男子。

精神质女子完全否定“好男人”,她们偏向“坏男人”类型的男子。
那么,这就意味着男子所 选择的不同类型的搭讪语的确对做出回应的女子有一定
的影响。通过女子对特定搭讪语的回应,男子可以 有效地快速判断出女子的个性
特征。那么对于那些渴望寻找“坏男人”的人来说,就该用充满性暗示的, 或者
是恭维的搭讪语,相反,对于那些等待外向型女子的男士来说,还是应该多开几
个玩笑比较 好。
男子对于女子的台词的理解
我们大多很注意女性对于男子搭讪语台词的理解程度,因为 在很多国家,很多概
念中,搭讪总是男子的行为。但是这一情况已经改变了。这次研究中同样也反映了男性对女性搭讪语的理解程度。
男性理解程度的结果显示,(和女子理解程度相比较)男子多偏 向搭讪语中暗含
性暗示(令人惊讶,令人惊讶!)这和女子喜欢幽默的搭讪语背道而驰。同样男
子在判定女子较为喜欢哪种搭讪语的能力上,也比女子差了很多。而被男子低估
了能力的搭讪语则是:那 些包含愿意帮助女性的,那些愿意把控制权交给女性的,
以及那些巧妙展现富有的搭讪方式。(太令人惊 讶!)
注意:
个性特征和搭讪语评估的相关性并没有特别的高。(在0.2-0.4之间) 这意味着
仅仅是一小部分的人格变化可以和搭讪语相互联系(4%-16%之间)。因此,个
性 特征并不是影响搭讪语回答的唯一因素,当然,也一定是有些影响力的。
原文阅读:The Hidden Purpose of Chat-up Lines
感谢PsyBlog(英国专业 心理学网站)授权Psytopic翻译该文,原文版权归PsyBlog
所有,译文版权归Psyto pic所有。
Psytopic sincerely appreciate PsyBlog (professional psychology website from Britain) for
giving the authorization of translating this article. Original Copyright belongs to PsyBlog.

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