蜜蜂总动员剧本
余年寄山水
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2020年08月01日 21:00
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- What do you think he makes? - Not enough.
Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.
- What does that do? - Catches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.
Can anyone work on the Krelman?
Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know
that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.
What's the difference?
You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.
So you'll just work us to death?
We'll sure try.
Wow! That blew my mind!
"What's the difference?" How can you say that?
One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.
I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.
But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?
Why would you question anything? We're bees.
We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?
Like what? Give me one example.
I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.
Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.
Wait a second. Check it out.
- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like outside the hive.
Yeah, but some don't come back.
- Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!
You guys did great!
You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
- I wonder where they were. - I don't know.
Their day's not planned.
Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.
You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.
Right.
Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.
It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.
Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.
Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?
Distant. Distant.
Look at these two.
- Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.
It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.
Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!
He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.
I can autograph that.
A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?
Yeah. Gusty.
We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.
- Six miles, huh? - Barry!
A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am. - You are not!
We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.
Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interes
ted in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?
Son, let me tell you about stirring.
You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.
You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.
You know, Dad, the more I think about it,
maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.
You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?
That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!
- Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny.
You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
- You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!
Wait till you see the sticks I have.
I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!
Let's open some honey and celebrate!
Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.
Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!
I'm so proud.
- We're starting work today! - Today's the day.
Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.
Yeah, right.
Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...
- Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left!
One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side.
- What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar!
Wow!
Couple of newbies?
Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
Make your choice.
- You want to go first? - No, you go.
Oh, my. What's available?
Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.
- Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on.
I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
Wax monkey's always open.
The Krelman opened up again.
What happened?
A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.
Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
Oh, this is so hard!
Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?
Barry!
All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...
What happened to you? Where are you?
- I'm going out. - Out? Out where?
- Out there. - Oh, no!
I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.
You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?
Another call coming in.
If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd
that gets their roses today.
Hey, guys.
- Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?
Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.
It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.
Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
Sign here, here. Just initial that.
- Thank you. - OK.
You got a rain advisory today,
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.
So be careful. As always, w
.
Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.
What was that?
Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...
Drapes!
That is diabolical.
It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
What's number one? Star Wars?
Nah, I don't go for that...
...kind of stuff.
No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.
When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.
There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.
I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.
I predicted global warming.
I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.
Wait! Stop! Bee!
Stand back. These are winter boots.
Wait!
Don't kill him!
You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!
Why does his life have less value than yours?
Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?
I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.
My brochure!
There you go, little guy.
I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.
Put that on your resume brochure.
It's not funny. My whole face could puff up.
Make it one of your special skills.
Knocking someone out is also a special skill.
Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
- Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
- You could put carob chips on there. - Bye.
- Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.
I gotta say something.
She saved my life. I gotta say something.
All right, here it goes.
Nah.
What would I say?
I could really get in trouble.
It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I've got to.
Oh, I can't do it. Come on!
No. Yes. No.
Do it. I can't.
How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.
Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
Hi!
I'm sorry.
- You're talking. - Yes, I know.
You're talking!
I'm so sorry.
No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.
But I don't recall going to bed.
Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.
This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,
but they were all trying to kill me.
And if it wasn't for you...
I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.
That was a little weird.
- I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah.
I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!
I just want you know I'm grateful. I'll leave now.
- Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What?
The talking thing.
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.
- That's very funny. - Yeah.
Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.
Anyway...
Can I...
...get you something? - Like what?
I don't know. I mean... I don't know. C
offee?
I don't want to put you out.
It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.
- It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.
- Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup.
Hey, you want rum cake?
- I shouldn't. - Have some.
- No, I can't. - Come on!
I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms here.
- Where? - These stripes don't help.
You look great!
I don't know if you know anything about fashion.
Are you all right?
No.
He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.
He finally gets there.
He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.
And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.
Why would I marry a watermelon?"
Is that a bee joke?
That's the kind of stuff we do.
Yeah, different.
So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
About work? I don't know.
I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.
I know how you feel.
- You do? - Sure.
My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
- Really? - My only interest is flowers.
Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.
Anyway, if you look...
There's my hive right there. See it?
You're in Sheep Meadow!
Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!
No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.
- Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that.
- You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine.
Just having two cups of coffee!
Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.
Yeah, it's no trouble.
Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.
Are you?
Can I take a piece of this with me?
Sure! Here, have a crumb.
- Thanks! - Yeah.
All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
Or not.
OK, Barry.
And thank you so much again... for before.
Oh, that? That was nothing.
Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...
This can't possibly work.
He's all set to go. We may as well try it.
OK, Dave, pull the chute.
- Sounds amazing. - It was amazing!
It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!
Giant, scary humans! What were they like?
Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.
- Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't.
- How'd you get back? - Poodle.
You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.
You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal.
- Well... - Well?
Well, I met someone.
You did? Was she Bee-ish?
- A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.
- Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders.
I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.
I can't get by that face.
So who is s
y truck goes that is where they're getting it.
I mean, that honey's ours.
- Bees hang tight.- We're all jammed in.
It's a close community.
Not us, man. We on our mosquito on his own.
- What if you get in trouble?-truble? You a mosquito, you in trouble.
Nobody likes us. They just a mosquito, smack, smack!
At least you're out in the must meet a lot of girls.
Mosquito girls try to trade up,get with a moth, dragonfly.
Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.
You got to be kidding me!
Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!
- Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!
I knew I'd catch y'all down you bring your crazy straw?
We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.
What is this place?
A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.
They are pinheads!
Pinhead.
- Check out the new smoker.- Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.
The Thomas 3000!
Smoker?
Ninety puffs a minute, the nicotine, all the tar.
A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
They make the honey,and we make the money.
"They make the honey,and we make the money"?
Oh, my!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Yeah. It doesn't last too long.
How these bees get here?Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?
Our queen was moved had no choice.
This is your queen?That's a man in women's clothes!
That's a drag queen!
What is this?
Oh, no!
There's hundreds of them!
Bee honey.
Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!
This is worse than anything bears have done to us! I intend to do something about it.
Oh, Barry, stop.
Who told you that humans are taking our honey? That's just a rumor.
Do these look like rumors?
That's a conspiracy are obviously doctored photos.
did you get mixed up in this?
Because he's been talking to humans.
- What?- Talking to humans?!
He has a human they make out!
Make out? Barry!
We do not.
- You wish you could.- Whose side are you on?
The bees!
I dated a cricket once in San crazy legs kept me up all night.
Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?
This is all I want to do it for all our works harder than bees!
Dad, I remember you coming home some night so overworked
your hands were still couldn't stop.
I remember that.
What right do they have to hard earn our honey?
We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
Even if it's true,Barry, what can one bee do?
I gonna sting them where it really hurts.
In the face!In the eye!
- That really would hurt.- No.
Up the nose? That's a killer.
There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where really matters.
Hive at Five, the hive's only full-ho
ur action news source.
No more bee beards!
With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
Weather with Storm Stinger.
Sports with Buzz Larvi.
And Jeanette Chung.
- Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung.
Our top story,A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,
packaging it and profiting from it illegally!
Don't ow night on Bee Larry King,
we'll gonna have three former queens all right here in our studio, discussing their new book,
Classy Ladies,out this week on Hexagon.
Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.
Did you ever think, "I'm just a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?
Bees have never been afraid to change the world.
I mean,What about Bee Columbus?Bee Gandhi? Bee jesus?
Where I'm from,you would't think about sue humans.
We were thinking of more like stick ball or candy stores.
How old are you?
I want you to know the entire bee communityis supporting you in this case,
which will certain be the trial of the bee century.
Thank you,Larry, You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.
It's a common name. Next week on bee Larry King,no,no,no...
I mean he looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots behind...
Next week on Bee Larry King...
Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest watch even though you just heard 'em.
Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.
Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.
In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!
It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.
Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?
Quiet, work going on here.
- Is that that same bee?- Yes, it is!
I'm helping him sue the human race.
- Hello.- Hello, bee.
This is Ken.
Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
Why does he talk again?
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.
But it's our yogurt night!
Bye-bye.
Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
You poor two have been at this for hours!
Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.
- Frosting... - How many sugars?
Just one. I try not to use the competition.
So why are you helping me?
Bees have good qualities.
And it feels good to takes my mind off the shop.
I don't know why,But instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.
Those are great, if you're three.
And artificial flowers.
- Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.
Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
Bees must hate those fake glass things!
Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.
Well,maybe this could make up for it a little bit.
-You know,Barry. This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.- I guess.
Are You sure you want to go through with it?
Am I sure? When I'm done w
ith the humans, they won't be able
to say, "Honey, I'm home,"without paying a royalty!
It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,
where the all eyes here world anxiously waits,because for the first time in history,
we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.
What have we gotten into here, Barry?
I don't 's pretty big, isn't it?
I can't believe how many humans don't have to work during the day.
You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?
Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.
- What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.
Well, if it isn't the bee team.
You boys work on this?
All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.
All right. Case number 4475,
Superior Court of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. The Honey Industry
is now in session.
Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five major food companies collectively?
A privilege.
Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?
I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor,we're ready to proceed.
Mr. Montgomery,your opening statement, please.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
my grandmother was a simple woman.
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right
to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.
If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,
just think of what would it mean.
Maybe I would have to negotiate with the silkworm
for the elastic in my britches!
Talking bee!
How do we know this isn't some sort of
holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?
They could be using laser beams!
Robotics! Ventriloquism!Cloning! For all we know,
he could be on steroids!
Mr. Benson?
Ladies and gentlemen,there's no trickery here.
I'm just an ordinary as a bee,Honey's pretty important to me.
It's important to all invented it!
We make it. And we protect it with our lives.
Unfortunately, there are some people in this room
who think they can take it from us
'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,
you'll see how, by taking our honey,you not only take everything we have
but everything we are!
I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!
Call your first witness.
So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms,pretty big company you have there.
I suppose so.
And I see you also own Honey burton and Honron!
Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.
Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.
I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?
- No.-I sorry,I couldn't hear you.
- No.- No.
Because you don't free keep bees. Not only that,
it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
They're very lovable creatures.
Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
You mean like this?
tocks?
I will have order in this court. Order!
Order, please!
The case of the honeybees versus the human race
took a pointed turn against the bees
yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
- Hey, buddy. - Hey.
- Is there much pain? - Yeah.
I...
I blew the whole case, didn't I?
It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.
I'd be better off dead. Look at me.
They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
Look, there's a little celery still on it.
What was it like to sting someone?
I can't explain it. It was all...
All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!
All right.
You think it was all a trap?
Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.
What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.
What will the humans do to us if they win?
I don't know.
I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.
Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
Oh, my.
Could you get a nurse to close that window?
- Why? - The smoke.
Bees don't smoke.
Right. Bees don't smoke.
Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.
That's it! That's our case!
It is? It's not over?
Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.
Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.
And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub.
Mr. Flayman.
Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
Where is the rest of your team?
Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.
Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
and as a result, we don't make very good time.
I actually heard a funny story about...
Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs
taken up enough of this court's valuable time?
How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?
They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges
against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.
I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!
Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.
But you can't! We have a terrific case.
Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?
Show me the smoking gun!
Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun?
Here is your smoking gun.
What is that?
It's a bee smoker!
What, this? This harmless little contraption?
This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.
Look at what has happened
to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?"
Is this what nature intended for us?
To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines
and man-made wooden slat work camps?
Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?
- What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card.
Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
Free the bees!
Free the bees! Free the bees!
The court fin
ving some fun. Enjoy your flight.
Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.
Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!
I think this is gonna work.
It's got to work.
Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott.
We have a bit of bad weather in New York.
It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.
Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.
I gotta get up there and talk to them.
Be careful.
Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?
I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
Captain, I'm in a real situation.
- What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.
Bee!
Don't freak out! My entire species...
What are you doing?
- Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?
Don't move.
Oh, Barry.
Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain.
Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit?
And please hurry!
What happened here?
There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.
One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!
- Is that another bee joke? - No!
No one's flying the plane!
This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?
This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.
Where's the pilot?
He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.
Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?
As a matter of fact, there is.
- Who's that? - Barry Benson.
From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.
It's got giant wings, huge engines.
I can't fly a plane.
- Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes.
How hard could it be?
Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.
This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
where a suspenseful scene is developing.
Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...
That's Barry!
...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers
and an incapacitated flight crew.
Flowers?!
We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls
with absolutely no flight experience.
Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.
I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.
They've done enough damage.
But isn't he your only hope?
Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.
Their wings are too small...
Haven't we heard this a million times?
"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."
- Get this on the air! - Got it.
- Stand by. - We're going live.
The way we work may be a mystery to you.
Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.
But let me tell you about a small job.
If you do it well, it makes a big difference.
More than we realized. To us, to everyone.
That's why I want to get bees back to wo