33.What Do Parents Owe[vt.欠(债等)] Their Children 父母欠子女什么？
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2020年08月02日 00:11
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J had to select[v.选择 adj.挑选出来的,精选的] a word that best describes[(describe):vt.描写，描述] the majority[n.大多数] of American I parents,that word would be guilt-ridden. How sad it is to see parents become the | willing victims[(victim):n.罹病者,受害者] of the "givc-me game*1,only lo discover[vt.发现] that,no matter what they j do,it isn't enough. In the end,they are despised[(despise):vt.鄙视,蔑视] for their lack[n.&vt.缺乏；缺少] of firmness[(firm):adj.牢固的；坚定的] and blamed[(blame):vt.责备；责怪] when their spoiled[(spoil):v.破坏,糟蹋] children get in trouble. With this in mind,I shall first answer this question:" What do parents owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children?" and I shall start with what they don't owe[vt.欠(债等)] them.
如果我必须挑选取一个词，来描述美国的大多数父母，这个词便是“内疚”。目睹父母们甘愿做“给我游戏”的牺牲者是很令人伤心的。但我们发现无论他们怎么做，都还是不够。到最后，父母们都会因自己的软弱而受到蔑视，因他们宠坏的孩子惹出事端而受到责备。认识到这些，我们应该首先回答这个问题：“父母欠子女些什么？”而我首先要从他们不欠子女什么谈起。
s don't owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children every minute of their day and every ounce[n.盎司] of their energy[n.精力；能量]. They don*t owe[vt.欠(债等)] them round-the-clock[a.全天的,全天候的] car service[n.服务],singing lessons,tennis[n.网球(运动)] lessons,expensive bicycles,a motorcycle[n.摩托车] or a car when they reach sixteen,or a trip to Hurope when they graduate[n.毕业生 vi.大学毕业].
父母不必把分分钞钞、点点滴滴的精力都花在孩子们身上。不必时时准备替他们开车外出，不必让他们上音乐课和网球课，不必给他们买很贵的自行车、摩托车、或在他们满十六岁时给他们买汽车，也不在他们毕业时出钱让他们去欧洲旅游。父母并不欠子女这些。
3.I take the firm[adj.牢固的；坚定的] position[n.位置] that parents do not owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children a college[n.学院] education[n.教育；培养]. If they can afford[vt.担负得起(......的费用)；抽得出(时间)；提供] it,line; they can certainly send them to the best universities[(university):n.大学]. But they must not feel guiltily[(guilty):adj.有罪的 adj.内疚的] if they can't. If the children really want lo go,they'll find a way. There are plenty[n.充足的；相当多的] of loans[(loan):n.贷款] and scholarships[(scholarship):n.奖学金] for the bright and eager[adj.渴望的；热切的] who can't afford[vt.担负得起(......的费用)；抽得出(时间)；提供] to pay.
我还确信父母并不欠孩子高等教育的费用。如果付的起，很好，他们
thai[n.泰国人,泰国语] he is in charge[vt.要求收费；索价 n.费用；价钱] of himself; it's like being in a car without brakes[(brake):vi.&vt.刹车；制动]. The parents who say "Mo" when other parents say "Yes" sends a double message. He is also saying: "I love you,and I am ready to risk[n.危险;风险] your anger[n.怒，愤怒],because I don't want you to get into trouble."
7.父母最主要的责任之一就是使孩子们尊重自己的价值。因为只有自尊自重才是健康的精神状态的基础。如果总让孩子感到自己愚蠢无为，老是把他与聪明的兄弟姐妹比较，他就会变得缺乏信心，惧怕失败，结果连尝试一下的勇气都没有了。当然，孩子有错误应当及时纠正，这样孩子才能有所长进。不过有批评也须有表扬，微笑和亲吻是比较好的方式。孩子再大也可以拥抱。父母有义务对孩子进行不间断的引导和管束。让十几岁的孩子觉得自己可以随心所欲是危险的，管束孩子的父母实际上让孩子接收到了一种双重信息。在说“不行”的同时，他们的意思也包含了：“我们爱你。我们知道你会生气，但我们不愿让你陷入困境。”s owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children some religious[adj.宗教的] training. The tact[n.老练,机智,圆滑] that so many strange cults[(cult):n.狂热信徒,崇拜者] are enjoying such success[n.成功] is proof[n.证据] that children feel the need for something spiritual[a.精神的；心灵的] in their life.
8.父母有义务给予孩子一些宗教训练。事实上，很多奇怪的宗教团体享受着成功，这正说明了孩子们在他们的生活中，需要一些精神上的东西。
s owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children a comfortable[adj.舒服的，轻松自在的] feeling about their body,and enough information[n.信息] about sex[n.性别；性] to balance[vt./n.平衡] the misinformation[n.错误信息] that they will surely receive from their friends.
9.父母也有义务注意孩子的身心健康，教给孩子必要的性知识，使他能够抵御那些将来无疑会从朋友们那儿得到的错误概念。
s owe[vt.欠(债等)] their children privacy[n.私人权利,个人自由,隐私权] and respect[vt.尊敬；尊重] for their personalbelongings. This means not borrowing things without permission[n.允许,许可,同意],not readingdiaries and mail[n.邮政；邮递],not looking through purses[(purse):n.钱包],pockets,and drawers[(drawer):n.抽屉]. If a motherfeels that she must read her daughter's diary to know what is going on,thecommunication between them must be pretty[adj.漂亮的；俊俏的] bad.
10.父母还应给予孩子们个人空间，尊重属于他的物品。这包括未经孩子同意不使用他的东西。不看他的日记和信件，不检查他的钱包、抽屉或衣袋。倘若一位母亲感到不看女儿的日记就不知道女儿的情况时