宜春学院教务管理系统-三支一扶报名

大学里流行的《钟点工》


小品《钟点工》台词
Dialogues for “ show”
（演员:赵本山，宋丹丹）Actor: Benshan Zhao,Dandan Song.
赵 ：睡的腰上疼，吃的直反胃，脑袋直迷糊，瞅啥啥不对。追求了一
辈子幸福，追到手明白了。幸福是什么 ？答：幸福就是遭罪。
Z: Sleep makes waist pain,eating makes me sick up,feels like lost
mind,and anything was wrong,seeking the happiness with a life,when
I got it,what’s the happiness?answer:happiness is suffered.
宋：有人花钱 吃喝，有人花钱点歌，有人花钱美容，有人花钱按摩，
今儿我雇个好活，有人花钱，雇我陪人儿唠嗑（l ào kē）。
S:Somebody cost for eating and drinking,somebody cost for
ordering a song,somebody cost for hairdressing,somebody cost for
massage,today I got a nice job,somebody cost for make me talking with
him.
赵：哎呀，儿子说给我找个人，九点钟到位。
Z: oh,my son told me he asked somebody to talk with me at nine
o’clock.
宋：这地方拐弯抹角的这才找对，叮咚。
S: this position is ambages,now finally I got it,ding!
赵：谁呀？
Z: who is that?
宋：张 惠 妹。
S: lady Gaga.
赵：谁？
Z: who?
宋：是我，大哥。
S: I’s me,honey!
赵：嗳呦妈呀，这小声挺甜，含糖量挺高啊，最起码四 个加号。（开门
声）我地妈呀，这小声音小老太太呀。
Z:Oh,my god,sounds really good!and sweetly
enough!enough!(Knock)
Oh,Mum,the sounds from a grandma!
宋：别客气，叫大妹子就行，叫妈干啥。这屋里就你一人儿啊？

S: Don’t be so cultured,just call me”little sister!”,no need
call me”Mum”,Are you the only one in this house?
赵：那屋还一小狗。
Z: there is a dog too.
宋：那就是你了。
S: That’s you!
赵：啊哈？
Z: what?
宋：你儿子说了，打我出 门起倒计时，刚才路上堵会车，现在离一个钟
头还（hài）有十五分钟，抓紧时间吧，阿。
S: you son said,the count for the time when I out of my house to
one hour,the street was block it’s quarter to one hour,hurry
up!OK?
赵：干啥呀？
Z: what do we do?
宋：我们的宗旨就是主动热 情，用我的真心换来你的笑容（yóng），赶
紧的吧，我先把它脱了。
S: our commitment is offered and passional,trade my sweet heart
for your smile,hurry up,I take my coat off first.
赵：大妹子，大妹子。
Z: little sister,litter sister!
宋：快点吧，没时间了。
S: hurry up! No time now.
赵：不行，你别你整明白，你干啥呀？
Z: NO,I need to know what do you want to do.
宋：坐下。
S: sit down!
赵：不行。
Z: No.
宋：你先坐下。
S: you sit down,OK？
赵：大妹子。我心脏不好。
Z：little sister! I have a not well heart.
宋：腼腆型的。这么地吧，我先给你出两道幽默智力题儿，一来呢，测验一下你的智商，二来呢，缓和一下尴尬的气氛。
S: Shy one you are! OK,I told two interesting stories for you,the
aim is:
One. Let me know how about your IQ.

Two is breaking up the intense.
听好啊，可招笑了。 ’s really funny!
说，要 把 大 象 装 冰 箱，总（lǒng）共分几步？
It says. Put the elephant into a many steps you need?
哈哈哈哈，三步。第一步，把冰箱门打开，第二 步，把大象装进去，第
三（sán）步，把冰箱门带上。
Hu! Three steps. First. Open the fridge. the elephant
into the fridge. the door.
人儿？（赵本山转到身后）哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。
Where are you? Hu,hu
你看我都笑成这样了你咋不笑呢？
Look ,it’s so you aren’t laughing?
赵：笑啥阿你这。
Z: what shold I laugh at?
宋： 嗯，没有幽默感，哈。我再给你出道题儿，说动物园召开全体动物
联欢大会哪个动物没（mâi）有来？
S: eh, you have no sense of humor. Another story. The animals are
going to take a animal is the absent?
大象呗，在冰箱里头关着呢。哈哈哈„„„„„„
Elephant! He was closed in the fridge.
赵：什么？嗳呦。
Z: what? Oh.
宋：嗳呦，笑死我了。Oh,it’s so funny.
赵：累死我了都。I am so tired.
宋：嗳„„„„„„hu,
赵：嘿。大妹子，咱别笑了行不行？ sister,stop laughing.
宋：怎么地？ Why?
赵：咱弄明白儿子是叫你来干什么来了你能不能告诉我完再笑？
S: I want to know what do my son ask you to do?can you tell me ?
宋：陪你说说话，陪你聊聊天，陪你唠唠嗑。
S: talking ,chatting,speaking with you!
赵：三陪呀。
Z: OH, chicken!
宋：说啥呢！
S: what do you say!
赵：大妹子我确实不明白你来„„ little sister,I really don’t
know why you are here!

大学里流行的《钟点工》


小品《钟点工》台词
Dialogues for “ show”
（演员:赵本山，宋丹丹）Actor: Benshan Zhao,Dandan Song.
赵 ：睡的腰上疼，吃的直反胃，脑袋直迷糊，瞅啥啥不对。追求了一
辈子幸福，追到手明白了。幸福是什么 ？答：幸福就是遭罪。
Z: Sleep makes waist pain,eating makes me sick up,feels like lost
mind,and anything was wrong,seeking the happiness with a life,when
I got it,what’s the happiness?answer:happiness is suffered.
宋：有人花钱 吃喝，有人花钱点歌，有人花钱美容，有人花钱按摩，
今儿我雇个好活，有人花钱，雇我陪人儿唠嗑（l ào kē）。
S:Somebody cost for eating and drinking,somebody cost for
ordering a song,somebody cost for hairdressing,somebody cost for
massage,today I got a nice job,somebody cost for make me talking with
him.
赵：哎呀，儿子说给我找个人，九点钟到位。
Z: oh,my son told me he asked somebody to talk with me at nine
o’clock.
宋：这地方拐弯抹角的这才找对，叮咚。
S: this position is ambages,now finally I got it,ding!
赵：谁呀？
Z: who is that?
宋：张 惠 妹。
S: lady Gaga.
赵：谁？
Z: who?
宋：是我，大哥。
S: I’s me,honey!
赵：嗳呦妈呀，这小声挺甜，含糖量挺高啊，最起码四 个加号。（开门
声）我地妈呀，这小声音小老太太呀。
Z:Oh,my god,sounds really good!and sweetly
enough!enough!(Knock)
Oh,Mum,the sounds from a grandma!
宋：别客气，叫大妹子就行，叫妈干啥。这屋里就你一人儿啊？

S: Don’t be so cultured,just call me”little sister!”,no need
call me”Mum”,Are you the only one in this house?
赵：那屋还一小狗。
Z: there is a dog too.
宋：那就是你了。
S: That’s you!
赵：啊哈？
Z: what?
宋：你儿子说了，打我出 门起倒计时，刚才路上堵会车，现在离一个钟
头还（hài）有十五分钟，抓紧时间吧，阿。
S: you son said,the count for the time when I out of my house to
one hour,the street was block it’s quarter to one hour,hurry
up!OK?
赵：干啥呀？
Z: what do we do?
宋：我们的宗旨就是主动热 情，用我的真心换来你的笑容（yóng），赶
紧的吧，我先把它脱了。
S: our commitment is offered and passional,trade my sweet heart
for your smile,hurry up,I take my coat off first.
赵：大妹子，大妹子。
Z: little sister,litter sister!
宋：快点吧，没时间了。
S: hurry up! No time now.
赵：不行，你别你整明白，你干啥呀？
Z: NO,I need to know what do you want to do.
宋：坐下。
S: sit down!
赵：不行。
Z: No.
宋：你先坐下。
S: you sit down,OK？
赵：大妹子。我心脏不好。
Z：little sister! I have a not well heart.
宋：腼腆型的。这么地吧，我先给你出两道幽默智力题儿，一来呢，测验一下你的智商，二来呢，缓和一下尴尬的气氛。
S: Shy one you are! OK,I told two interesting stories for you,the
aim is:
One. Let me know how about your IQ.

Two is breaking up the intense.
听好啊，可招笑了。 ’s really funny!
说，要 把 大 象 装 冰 箱，总（lǒng）共分几步？
It says. Put the elephant into a many steps you need?
哈哈哈哈，三步。第一步，把冰箱门打开，第二 步，把大象装进去，第
三（sán）步，把冰箱门带上。
Hu! Three steps. First. Open the fridge. the elephant
into the fridge. the door.
人儿？（赵本山转到身后）哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。
Where are you? Hu,hu
你看我都笑成这样了你咋不笑呢？
Look ,it’s so you aren’t laughing?
赵：笑啥阿你这。
Z: what shold I laugh at?
宋： 嗯，没有幽默感，哈。我再给你出道题儿，说动物园召开全体动物
联欢大会哪个动物没（mâi）有来？
S: eh, you have no sense of humor. Another story. The animals are
going to take a animal is the absent?
大象呗，在冰箱里头关着呢。哈哈哈„„„„„„
Elephant! He was closed in the fridge.
赵：什么？嗳呦。
Z: what? Oh.
宋：嗳呦，笑死我了。Oh,it’s so funny.
赵：累死我了都。I am so tired.
宋：嗳„„„„„„hu,
赵：嘿。大妹子，咱别笑了行不行？ sister,stop laughing.
宋：怎么地？ Why?
赵：咱弄明白儿子是叫你来干什么来了你能不能告诉我完再笑？
S: I want to know what do my son ask you to do?can you tell me ?
宋：陪你说说话，陪你聊聊天，陪你唠唠嗑。
S: talking ,chatting,speaking with you!
赵：三陪呀。
Z: OH, chicken!
宋：说啥呢！
S: what do you say!
赵：大妹子我确实不明白你来„„ little sister,I really don’t
know why you are here!