孔子的名人名言-招商引资调研报告

第一季 第1集
-Sheldon:So if a photon (particle of light) is directed
to a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed,
it will not go through both it's unobserved, it
will. However, if it's observed after it's left the plane
but before it hits its target, it will not have gone through
both slits.
-Leonard: Agreed. What's your point?
-Sheldon: There's no point. I just think it's a good
idea for a T-shirt.
-Leonard: Excuse me.
-Woman: Hang on.
-Leonard: Uh, 1 across is
8 down is
26 across is
14 down is... move your finger...Phylum, which makes
14 across
see,

-Woman: Can I help you??
-Leonard: Yes. Um... is this the high-IQ sperm bank?
-Woman: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.
-Sheldon:I think this is the place.
-Woman: Fill these out.
-Leonard: Thank you. We'll be right back.
-Woman: Oh, take your time. I'll just finish my
crossword puzzle.
Oh, wait.
-Sheldon: Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
-Leonard: What are you kidding? You're a semi-pro.
-Sheldon: No. We are committing genetic fraud.
There's no guarantee that our sperm is going to generate
high-IQ offspring.
Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic
DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
-Leonard: Sheldon, this was your idea.
A little extra money to get fractional T1 bandwidth in
the apartment.
-Sheldon: I know, and I do yearn for faster downloads.
But there's some poor woman who's going to pin her hopes
on my sperm.
What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know
if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the
area under a curve?
-Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
-Sheldon: I wouldn't.
-Leonard: Well, what do you want to do?
-Sheldon: I want to leave.
-Leonard: Okay.
-Sheldon: What's the protocol for leaving?
-Leonard: I don't know. I've never reneged on a proffer
of sperm before.
-Sheldon: Let's try just walking out.
-Leonard: Okay.
-Woman: Bye.
-Sheldon: Bye.
-Leonard: Nice meeting you.
-Sheldon: Are you still mad about the sperm bank?
-Leonard: No.
-Sheldon: You want to hear an interesting thing about
stairs?
-Leonard: Not really.
-Sheldon: If the height of a single step is off by 2
millimeters, most people will trip
-Leonard: I don't care. 2 millimeters? That doesn't
seem right
-Sheldon: No, it's true. I did a series of experiments
when I was 12.
My father broke his clavicle.
如果一个光子打向 有两个狭缝的平面，如果有一个狭缝可
以观测到，那它没有同时通过两个狭缝。如果观测不到，那它会通过。但如果它是在离开平面后在击中目标物之前被观测
到，那它不会同时通过两个狭缝。
同意。你想说什么
没什么，我只是觉得这个主意放在T恤上不错。
打扰了。
稍等。
横1是“爱琴海”。
竖8是“纳巴科夫”。
横26是“MCM”。
竖14是……你手挡住了……是门，所以说横14是“太子
港”
你看，“Papa Doc提示了，所以是太子港。
需要我帮忙嘛
是的。这里是高智商精子库嘛
如果这还要问的话，那你可能不该来这。
我想就是这里了
把表格填了。
谢谢。马上就好。
不急。我正好把填字游戏做完。
等等。
Leonard，我觉得我做不到。
开什么玩笑，你都是“半职业选手”了
不是的，我们这是在犯基因欺诈罪。
我们的精子并不能保证将来就能生出高智商的后代。
你想想。我姐姐和我的DNA结构相同可是她只是快餐店的
女服务生。
Sheldon，当初你要来的。
这点补贴能让我们在寓所里拥有分式T-1带宽。
我知道，我的确渴望更快的下载速度。
但那些可怜的女人们会把希望寄托在我精子上的。
如果她最后发现那小不点连曲线下面积该用积分还是微
分算都不知道，她会怎么想
我肯定她还是会爱他的。
我不会。
你现在想怎么样
我想走了。
好的。
该怎么跟她说呢协议
我不知道，我以前从来没有在捐献精子中途走人过。
我们就直接走吧。
好。
再见。
再见。
很高兴见到你。
你还在为精子库的事生气吗
没。
你想听有关楼梯好玩的事吗
不太想。
如果一个台阶的高度偏差2mm大多数人就会绊倒。
我不关心。2mm? 这不对啊。
就是这样的。我12岁时做过一系列的实验。
我爸把锁骨都摔断了。

-Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school? 所以他们才送你去上了寄宿学校
-Sheldon: No. That was a result of my work with lasers. 不是，是我研究激光之后才送我去的。
-Leonard: New neighbor? 新邻居?
-Sheldon: Evidently. 显然是的。
-Leonard: Significant improvement over the old
显然比我们老邻居强很多。
neighbor.
-Sheldon: 200-pound transvestite with a skin
一个重200磅有皮肤病的变装癖?
condition?
Yes, she is. 是的，没错。
-Penny: Oh, hi. 噢，嗨。
-Leonard: hi. 嗨。
-Sheldon: hi. 嗨。
-Leonard: hi. 嗨。
-Penny: Hi? 嗨
-Leonard: We don't mean to interrupt. We live across
我们没想打扰你，我们住对门。
the hall.
-Penny: Oh, that's nice. 噢，真好。
-Leonard: Oh, no, uh, we don't live together. 我们不是睡一起。
I mean, we live together, but in separate, heterosexual 我是说，我们住在一起，但是睡在两个单独的异性恋房间
bedrooms. 里。
-Penny: Oh. Okay, well, guess I'm your new neighbor.
噢，好的，看来我是新邻居了。Penny。
Penny.
-Leonard: Leonard. Sheldon. Leonard Sheldon。
-Penny: hi. 嗨!
-Sheldon: hi. 嗨!
-Penny: hi. 嗨!
-Leonard: hi. 嗨!
-Leonard: Well, uh... oh, uh, welcome to the building. 那个……欢迎搬到楼里来。
-Penny: Oh, thank you. Maybe we can have coffee
噢，谢谢，或许有时间我们可以一起喝咖啡。
sometime.
-Leonard: Oh, great. 噢，太好了。
-Penny: great. 好极了。
-Sheldon: great. 好极了。
-Leonard: great. 好极了。
-Leonard: Well, uh, Bye. 恩，那好，拜。
-Penny: Bye. 拜。
-Sheldon: Bye. 拜。
-Leonard: Bye. 拜。
Should we have invited her for lunch? 我们邀请她吃午餐怎样?
-Sheldon: No. We're going to start Season 2 of
不行，我们要看第二季。
Battlestar Galactica.
-Leonard: We already watched the season 2 DVDs. 我们已经看过第二季的DVD了。
-Sheldon: Not with commentary. 没看过转播的。
-Leonard: I think we should be good neighbors and invite
我觉得我们应该做好邻居，请她过来，让她觉得自在些。
her over, make her feel welcome.
-Sheldon: We never invited LouieLouise over. 我们就从没请LouisLouise来过。
-Leonard: Well... and that was wrong of us. We need to
那是我们不对。我们要扩大朋友圈。
widen our circle.
-Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends
我的圈子很大了。在MySpace上我有212个朋友。
on
-Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them. 是啊，而且你一个都没见过。
-Sheldon: That's the beauty of it. 这才是美好所在。
-Leonard: I'm going to invite her over. 我要去请她过来。
We'll have a nice meal and... chat. 我们会吃一顿美餐，好好聊一会儿。
-Sheldon: Chat? We don't chat. At least not offline. 聊天? 我们不聊天啊，至少下线时不会。
-Leonard: Well, it's not difficult. You just listen to
又不是很难，你只要听她说的话，然后你说些得体的话，
what she says and then you say something appropriate in
给她些回应就行了。
response.
-Sheldon: To what end? 谈什么内容啊
-Leonard: Hi. Again. 嗨，又是我们。
-Penny: Hi. 嗨。
-Sheldon: Hi. 嗨。
-Leonard: Hi. Anyway, um... we brought home Indian
就是那个，我们买了印度的食物回来
food.
I know that moving can be stressful, and, and, I find
我知道搬家给人很大压力，我发现如果我有压力的时候。
that when I'm undergoing stress,
that good food and company can have a comforting
美食和好友相伴可以产生安慰的效果。
effect.
Also, curry is a natural laxative and I don't have to
同时咖喱还是天然泻药，我不用告诉你，
tell you, that, you know,
a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about. 清空大肠是最不需要担心的。
-Sheldon: Leonard, I'm no expert here, but I believe 瞧，虽然这方面我不是专家，但我相信这不是请人吃饭的

in the context of a luncheon invitation,
you might want to skip the reference to bowel movements.
-Penny: Oh, you're inviting me over to eat?
-Leonard: Uh... yes.
-Penny: Oh, that's so nice. I'd love to.
-Leonard: Great.
-Penny: So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
-Sheldon: Well, today we tried masturbating for money.
-Leonard: Okay, well, make yourself at home.
-Penny: Okay. Thank you.
-Leonard: You're very welcome.
-Penny: This looks like some serious stuff. Leonard,
did you do this?
-Sheldon: Actually, that's my work.
-Penny: Wow.
-Sheldon: Yeah. Well, it's just some quantum
mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the
edges.
That part there, that's just a joke.
It's a spoof of the Born-Oppenheimer approximation.
-Penny: So you're like one of those beautiful mind
genius guys.
-Sheldon: Yeah.
-Penny: This is really impressive.
-Leonard: I have a board. If you like boards, this is
my board.
-Penny: Holy smokes!
-Sheldon: If by derivative
restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on
the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.
-Leonard: What?
-Sheldon: Come on.
Who hasn't seen this differential below
broken-hearted
-Leonard: At least I didn't have to invent 26 dimensions
just to make the math come out.
-Sheldon: I didn't invent them. They're there.
-Leonard: In what universe?
-Sheldon: In all of them. That is the point.
-Penny: Uh... do you guys mind if I start?
-Sheldon: Um... Penny...that's where I sit.
-Penny: So, sit next to me.
-Sheldon: No... I sit there.
-Penny: What's the difference?
-Sheldon: What's the difference?!
-Leonard: Here we go.
-Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to
the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause
perspiration;
in the summer, it's directly in the path of a
cross-breeze created by opening windows there, and there.
It faces the television at an angle that is neither
direct, thus discouraging conversation,
nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion.
I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
-Penny: Do you want me to move?
-Sheldon: Well...
-Leonard: Just sit somewhere else.
-Sheldon: Fine.
-Leonard: Sheldon, sit!
-Sheldon: Ah.
-Leonard: Well, this is nice. We don't have a lot of
company over.
-Sheldon: That's not appali and Wolowitz
come over all the time.
-Leonard: Yes, I know, but...
-Sheldon: Tuesday night we played Klingon Boggle till
1:00 in the morning.
-Leonard: Yeah, I remember.
-Sheldon: I resent you saying we don't have company.
-Leonard: I'm sorry.
-Sheldon: That has negative social implications.
谈话内容
你或许该跳过对于清肠的提示。
噢，你是请我过去吃饭吗
是.
真好，我很愿意。
好极了。
那你们平时都玩些什么
今天我们刚试过靠自慰赚钱。
请随便些。
谢谢。
不用客气。
这看着像是很严肃的东西，是你们谁做的吗
事实上那是我的作品。
哇哦。
是的，只是一些量子力学。边上还乱画了一些弦理论。
这个部分，只是个笑话。
是讽刺波恩-奥本海默近似值的。
那你就像是“美丽心灵”里那种天才喽
是。
真是令人印象深刻。
我也有个板子，你要是喜欢板子，这块是我的。
我的天啊。
她说“我的天啊”，她是说这些毫无独创性的理论重述在
麻省任何一个房间的墙上都能看到。
什么?
拜托。
这微分谁没见过啊我真是心碎。
至少我不用创造26个次元，就为了做个算术。
不是创造，是本来就存在的。
在什么范围啊
在所有的范围内。就是这样。
你们介意我开始吃吗
那是我坐的地方。
你可以坐我旁边。
不，我就是坐那儿的。
有什么不同吗
有什么不同?
又来了。
冬天的时候，这个地方离电暖器最近，很暖和，也不会很
热到直流汗。
夏天的时候，这里又刚好可以吹过堂风，是来自这扇窗户
和那扇的。
而且坐这里看电视的角度，可以直接看，又不会影响谈话，
不会太远，不至于造成脖子过分扭曲。
我可以继续，我想我已经说明白了。
你想我换个地方吗
恩……
坐别的地方不行吗
好吧。
Sheldon，坐下。
恩。
这样真好。我们没怎么请人来过。
是的，Koothrappali和Wolowitz总来。
是，我知道。
周二晚我们玩Klingon拼字游戏直到凌晨一点。
是啊，我记得。
那你干吗这么说
对不起。
这有负面的社会效应。

-Leonard: I said I'm sorry!
-Penny: So... Klingon Boggle?
-Leonard: Yeah. It's like regular boggle, but... in
Klingon
That's probably enough about us. So, tell us about you.
-Penny: Um... me? Okay.
I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more
than you need to know.
-Sheldon: Yes. It tells us that you participate in the
mass cultural delusion
that the sun's apparent position relative to
arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your
birth somehow affects your personality.
-Penny: Participate in the what?
-Leonard: I think what Sheldon's trying to say is that
Sagittarius wouldn't have been our first guess.
-Penny: Oh, yeah. A lot of people think I'm a water sign.
Okay, let's see, what else.
Oh, I'm a vegetarian. Except for fish.
And the occasional steak. I love steak!
-Sheldon: Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't
process corn.
-Leonard: Well, uh, do you have some sort of a job?
-Penny: Oh, yeah. I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake
Factory.
-Leonard: Oh... I love cheesecake.
-Sheldon: You're lactose intolerant.
-Leonard: I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea.
-Penny: Oh. Anyways, I'm also writing a screenplay.
It's about this sensitive girl who comes to L.A. from
Lincoln, Nebraska,
to be an actress and winds up a waitress at the
Cheesecake Factory.
-Leonard: So, it's based on your life.
-Penny: No, I'm from Omaha.
-Leonard: Well, if that was movie, I would go see it.
-Penny: I know, right? Okay, let's see, what else...
um...
Guess that's about it. That's the story of Penny.
-Leonard: Well, it sounds wonderful.
-Penny: It was. Until I fell in love with a jerk!
-Sheldon: What's happening?
-Leonard: I don't know.
-Penny: God, you know, four years I lived with him.
Four years…that's like as long as high school!
-Sheldon: It took you four years to get through high
school?
-Penny: It just... I can't believe I trusted him!
-Leonard: Should I say something? I feel like I should
say something.
-Sheldon: You? No, you'll only make it worse.
-Penny: You want to know the most pathetic part?
Even though I hate his lying, cheating guts...
I still love him. Is that crazy?
-Sheldon: Yes.
-Leonard: No, it's not crazy. It's uh... uh... it's a
paradox. The paradoxes are part of nature.
Think about light. If you look at Huygens, light is a
wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiment,
but then along comes Albert Einstein and discovers that
light behaves like particles, too.
Well, I didn't make it worse.
-Penny: I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess.
On top of everything else, I'm all gross from moving
and my stupid shower doesn't even work.
-Leonard: Our shower works.
-Penny: Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it?
-Leonard: Yes.
-Sheldon: No.
-Leonard: No?
-Sheldon: No.
-Leonard: No. It's right down the hall.
我道歉了。
那么……Klingon拼字?
跟普通的没什么区别，就是在Klingong而已。
我们已经说的够多了，跟我们说说你吧。
我? 好的。
我是射手座的。这样你们就能了解很多想知道的事了。
是啊，这让我们知道你被大众文化所迷惑了
根据太阳的位置随便胡乱定个星座以及你的出生日期影
响了你的性格。
跟什么有关?
我想Sheldon是想说我们一开始没想到是射手座的。
是啊，很多人都觉得我像水相星座。
噢，我想想，还有什么
我吃素，除了鱼以外。
偶尔还有牛排，我爱死牛排了。
真有意思,Leonard不能消化玉米。
你有在工作吗
我是Cheesecake Factory的女招待。
我喜欢芝士蛋糕。
你对乳糖过敏的。
我不吃，但我觉得这是个好主意。
还有，我还在写一部剧本。
是讲一个多愁善感的女孩子从林肯去了洛杉矶，
想要当女明星，却去当Cheesecake Factory的女招待。
是以你的生活为范本。
不，我是从奥马哈来的。
如果要拍成电影，我肯定去看。
我知道，没错。我想想，还有什么。
我想就是这样了。这就是Penny的故事了。
听起来很不错。
以前是的。直到我爱上了一个混蛋！
怎么啦?
我不知道。
我和他一起住了4年。
4年，那可跟高中时间一样长啊。
你用了4年才念完高中
我不敢相信我竟然那么信任他！
我该说点什么吗我觉得我该说两句。
你你只会让事情更糟。
你知道最悲哀的是什么吗
虽然我恨他骗我，恨他对我不忠。
我还是爱他。我是不是疯了?
没错。
不，这不是疯狂。是....只是有点矛盾。这是人的天性来
的。
想想光，如果你看惠更斯的东西光是一种波，已经被双狭
缝实验所证实了，
但之后，随着Albert Einstein的研究发现光也是有分子
运动的。
我没让事情变糟。
噢。真抱歉，我这么乱七八糟的。
而且搬家搬得我想吐，我的洗澡间还不能用。
我们的可以。
是吗? 那借我用下会不会很奇怪?
是的
不会!
不会?
不会
不会。就在走廊尽头。

-Penny: Thanks. You guys are really sweet. 谢谢了，你们人真好。
-Sheldon: Well, this is an interesting development. 这可真是有趣的发展。
-Leonard: How so? 那怎样
-Sheldon: It has been some time since we've had a woman
有段时间没有女人在我们公寓里把衣服脱光了。
take her clothes off in our apartment.
-Leonard: That's not true. Remember at thanksgiving my 不是的，记得那年感恩节吗，我奶奶得了老年痴呆也上演
grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode? 了这一幕啊。
-Sheldon: Point taken. It has been some time since we've
说的是有段时间没有女人在我们公寓里把衣服脱光了
had a woman take her clothes off,
after which we didn't want to rip our eyes out. 而我们不想把自己眼珠子挖出来。
-Leonard: The worst part was watching her carve that
最糟的是看着她在那儿切火鸡。
turkey.
-Sheldon: So what exactly are you trying to accomplish
你这么做到底是为了什么呢
here?
-Leonard: Excuse me? 你说什么
-Sheldon: That woman in there is not going to have sex
那个女人是不会和你上床的。
with you.
-Leonard: Well, I'm not trying to have sex with her. 我也没想要和她上床啊。
-Sheldon: Oh, good. Then you won't be disappointed. 噢，很好，那你就不会失望了。
-Leonard: What makes you think she wouldn't have sex
你凭什么觉得她不会跟我上床呢
with me?
I'm a male and she's a female. 我是个男人，她是个女人。
-Sheldon: Yes, but not of the same species. 话是没错，但不是同一个物种。
-Leonard: I'm not going to engage in hypothetical here. 我不是再搞什么异想天开。
I'm just trying to be a good neighbor. 我只是想当个好邻居。
-Sheldon: Oh, of course. 噢，当然了。
-Leonard: That's not to say that if a carnal
但不是说如果有可能发展肉体关系我也不一定不会参与。
relationship were to develop that I wouldn't participate.
However briefly. 大致是这样。
-Sheldon: Do you think this possibility will be helped
你觉得有没可能阻止她当她发现用的是卢克.天行者无泪
or hindered when she discovers your Luke Skywalker
配方洗发水
no-more-tears shampoo?
-Leonard: It's Darth Vader shampoo. 是Dark Vador的洗发水。
Luke Skywalker's the conditioner. 卢克.天行者的护发素。
-Howard: Wait till you see this. 必须得看看这个。
-Rajesh: It's fantastic, unbelievable. 绝对精彩，难以置信。
-Leonard: See what? 看什么啊
-Howard: It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in
是1974年Steven Hawking在麻省理工的讲座。
1974.
-Leonard: This isn't a good time. 现在不合适。
-Howard: It's before he became a creepy computer voice. 在他成为计算机声音之前。
-Leonard: That's great. You guys have to go. 很好，你们得离开这儿。
-Rajesh: Why? 为什么?
-Leonard: It's just not a good time. 现在就是不合适嘛。
-Sheldon: Leonard has a lady over. Leonard请了一位女士过来。
-Howard: Yeah, right - your grandmother back in town? 是啊，你外婆又回来了啊
-Leonard: No. And she's not a lady. She's just a new
不，她不是位女士，只是新邻居。
neighbor.
-Howard: Hang on, there really is a lady here? 等一下，真的有位女士在吗
-Leonard: Uh-huh. 是。
-Howard: And you want us out because you're
你赶我们出去是因为你想有性行为?
anticipating coitus?
-Leonard: I'm not anticipating coitus. 我没有。
-Howard: So she's available for coitus? 那就是她可以发生性行为?
-Leonard: Can we please just stop saying 可以不要再说这个词了吗?
-Sheldon: Technically, that would be
应该是中断性行为。
interrupts
-Penny: Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch
嘿，有没哪个开关可以从水龙头变成喷头的?
from tub to shower...?
Oh, hi. Sorry. Hello~ 噢，嗨，抱歉。各位好。
-Howard:Enchanté! Mademoiselle. 你好，小姐。
Howard Wolowitz, Cal Tech, Department of Applied
Howard Wolowitz 加州科技大学应用物理系。
Physics.
You may be familiar with some of my work. 你可能很熟悉我的一些作品。
It's currently orbiting Jupiter's largest moon taking
现在正沿着木星轨道拍摄高清晰数字照片。
high-resolution digital photographs.
-Penny: Penny. I work at the cheesecake factory. Penny 我在Cheesecake Factory工作。
-Leonard: Come on, I'll show you the trick with the
来，我告诉你开关在哪儿。
shower.
-Howard: Bonne douche. 好好享受洗澡。
-Penny: I'm... I'm sorry? 你说什么
-Howard: It's French for 是法语里“好好享受洗澡”的意思。

It's a sentiment I can express in six languages.
-Leonard: Save it for your blog, Howard.
-Howard:洗个痛快澡!
-Leonard: All right, there it goes. It sticks. I'm
sorry.
-Penny: Okay, thanks.
-Leonard: You' welcome. Oh, you're just going to step
right... Okay, I'll...
-Penny: Hey, Leonard...
-Leonard: The hair products are Sheldon's.
-Penny: Okay. Um, can I ask you a favor?
-Leonard: A favor?
Sure, you can ask me a favor. I would do you a favor
for you.
-Penny: It's okay if you say no.
-Leonard: Oh, I'll probably say yes.
-Penny: It's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy
you just met.
-Leonard: Wow.
-Sheldon: I really think we should examine the chain
of causality here.
-Leonard: Must we?
-Sheldon: Event A: a beautiful woman stands naked in
our shower.
Event B: we drive halfway across town to retrieve a
television set from the aforementioned woman's
ex-boyfriend.
Query: on what plane of existence is there even a
semi-rational link between these events?
-Leonard: She asked me to do her a favor, Sheldon.
-Sheldon: Ah, yes. Well, that may be the proximal cause
of our journey,
but we both know it only exists in contradistinction
to the higher level distal cause.
-Leonard: Which is?
-Sheldon: You think with your penis.
-Leonard: That's a biological impossibility. And you
didn't have to come.
-Sheldon: Oh, right, yes, I could have stayed behind
and watch Wolowitz try to hit on Penny in Russian, Arabic
and Farsi.
Why can't she get her own TV?
-Leonard: Come on, you know how it is with break-ups.
-Sheldon: No, I don't... and neither do you.
-Leonard: I... I broke up with Joyce Kim.
-Sheldon: You did not break up with Joyce Kim. She
defected to North Korea.
-Leonard: To mend her broken heart.
This situation is much less complicated.
There's some kind of dispute between Penny and her
ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV.
She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.
-Sheldon: So we get to have a scene with him?
-Leonard: No, Sheldon, there's not going to be a scene.
There's two of us and one of him.
-Sheldon: Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.
-Penny: So, you guys work with Leonard and Sheldon at
the university?
Um, I'm sorry. Do you speak english?
-Howard: Oh, he speaks English. He just can't speak to
women.
-Penny: Really? Why?
-Howard: He's kind of a nerd. Juice box?
-Leonard: I'll do the talking.
-Man: Yeah?
-Leonard: Uh, hi, I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon.
-Sheldon: Hello.
-Leonard: Let's... Uh, we're here to pick up Penny's
TV.
-Man: Get lost.
-Sheldon: Okay, thanks for you time.
-Leonard: We're not going to give up just like that.
只是我本人会讲六种语言。
留着写博客吧，Howard。
洗个痛快澡!
好了，可以了，有点卡住了。抱歉。
好的，谢谢。
不客气。你可以转……好，我走了。
Leonard.。
那些洗发用品都是Sheldon的。
好的。能请你帮个忙吗
帮忙
当然可以请我帮忙，我愿意帮你的忙。
你不答应也没关系的。
我很可能会答应。
只是一般不会对刚认识的人提出这种要求。
哇。
我真的觉得我们该好好想想这里面的因果关系了。?
有必要嘛
事件一我们那淋浴器下站着个裸体美女。
事件二我们开车穿过半个城市到上述那位女性的前男友
处取回一台电视机。
提问：在哪个层面上这两个事件哪怕是有关半点合理的联
系
她请求我帮她个忙，Sheldon。
是啊，这可能是我们这趟旅途最近似的原因了，
但其只存在于更高层次原因的对比之下，这点我们都清
楚。
是什么
你在用下半身思考。
从生理上说这是不可能的。还有你可以不用跟来啊。
不错，我可以留在那儿看着Wolowitz用俄语，阿拉伯语，
波斯语来勾引Penny。
我不明白她怎么不能自己拿电视
你也知道分手是怎样的。
不，我不知道……你也不知道。
我以前和Joyce Kim分过手。
你没有和Joyce Kim分手，是她投奔回朝鲜了。
去缝补她破碎的心啊。
现在这情况远没那么复杂。
就谁该得到这台电视机的拥有权，Penny和她前男友有过
争吵。
她只是不想和他再大吵大闹。
所以就得让我们去见他
不会有争吵的。
我们两个，他一个人。
Leonard 我们俩连电视机都抱不动。
那么，你们是Leonard和Sheldon大学的同学喽?
抱歉，你讲英文吗
噢，他讲英文的，就是不擅长和异性讲话。
真的吗为什么?
他有点古怪。喝果汁
我来谈。
怎么
嗨,我是Leonard,他是Sheldon。
你好。
让我们……我们是来拿Penny的电视的。
滚蛋!
耽误你时间了。
我们不能就这么算了。

-Sheldon: Leonard, the TV's in the building. 可是电视在大楼里。
We have been denied access to the building, ergo, we
我们已经被阻止进入大楼了，因此，我们没戏了。
are done.
-Leonard: Excuse me. 你说什么?
If I were to give up on the first little hitch I never
如果一有困难我就放弃，我就永远不可能分辨出。
would have been able to identify
the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of
大爆炸后期弦论的“指纹”。
the big bang.
-Sheldon: My apologies. What's your plan? 我道歉。你打算怎么做
It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work. 看到你动脑子，真是荣幸。
-Leonard: Come on, we have a combined IQ of 360. 拜托，我们两个智商加一起都360了。
We should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid
我们得想办法怎么进去这栋破楼里!
building.
-Sheldon: What do you think their combined IQ is? 你觉得她俩之智商加一起...
-Leonard: Just grab the door! This is it. I'll do the
快挡住门。就是这儿。我来谈。
talking.
-Sheldon: Good thinking. I'll just be the muscle. 好啊，我就当出力的那个。
-Man: Yeah? 什么事
-Leonard: I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon. 我是Leonard，他是Sheldon。
-Sheldon: From the Intercom. 就对话机里那个.
-Man: How the hell did you get in the building? 你们是怎么进来的?
-Leonard: Uh... we're scientists. 我们是科学家。
-Sheldon: Tell him about our IQ. Leonard... 告诉他我们智商有多高。Leonard……
-Leonard: What? 怎么?
-Sheldon: My mom bought me those pants. 那裤子是我妈给我买的。
-Leonard: I'm sorry. 对不起。
-Sheldon: You're going to have to call her. 你负责打给她。
-Leonard: Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through
Sheldon，我很抱歉，害你牵扯进来。
this.
-Sheldon: It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing and
没什么，这不是我的第一条裤子，也不会是最后一条。
it won't be my last.
-Leonard: And you were right about my motives. 关于我的动机，你说的对。
I was hoping to establish a relationship with Penny that 我是希望能和Penny之间有点什么……或许哪天能和她做
might have someday led to sex. 爱。
-Sheldon: Well, you got me out of my pants. 可你却让我把裤子脱了。
-Leonard: Anyway, I've learned my lesson. 总之我吸取教训了。
She's out of my league. I'm done with her. 她和我不是一国的，我不再奢求什么。
Got my work, one day I'll win the Nobel Prize and then 我要继续自己的生活，等到哪天得到诺贝尔奖，然后孤独
I'll die alone. 地死去。
-Sheldon: Don't think like that. You're not going to
别那么说，你不会孤独地死去的。
die alone.
-Leonard: Thank you, Sheldon. You're a good friend. 谢谢，Sheldon。你是个好朋友。
-Sheldon: And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel
你当然也肯定不会得诺贝尔奖的。
Prize.
-Howard: This is one of my favorite places to kick back
这是我最喜欢的地方之一，被追到后进行反击。
after a quest.
They have a great house ale. 他们的麦酒很不错。
-Penny: Wow, a cool tiger. 喔，好酷的老虎。
-Howard: Yeah, I've had him since Level 10. 是的，我打到第10级有了它。
His name is Buttons. 它叫Boutons。
Anyway, if you had your own game character we could hang
如果你有自己的游戏角色，我们可以一起玩，互相追逐。
out, maybe go on a quest.
-Penny: Um... sounds interesting. 听起来很有意思。
-Howard: So you'll think about it? 那你会考虑吗
-Penny: Oh, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking
噢，我想我会不停地考虑下去的。
about it.
-Rajesh: Smooth. 顺利。
-Leonard: We're home. 我们回来了。
-Penny: Oh, my god, what happened? 噢，天啊，发生什么事了
-Leonard: Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards and
你前男友对我们表示欢迎。我想剩下的部分你也猜到了。
I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.
-Penny: I'm so sorry. 太对不起了。
I really thought if you guys went instead of me he
我真的以为如果你们替我去，他就不会那么混蛋了。
wouldn't be such an ass.
-Leonard: No, it was a valid hypothesis. 不，难免会这么想的。
-Sheldon: That was a valid hypoth... What is happening
这合理...? 你是怎么了啊
to you?
-Penny: Really... thank you so much for going and
很感谢你们去那里想要帮我。
trying.
Oh, you're so terrific. Really. 你们人真的是太好了。真的。
Why don't you get some clothes on??I'll get my purse,
你们何不穿好衣服，我去拿包，晚饭我请你们。
and dinner is on me, okay?

-Leonard: Really? Great.?
-Sheldon: Thank you
-Penny: Okay.
-Sheldon: You're not done with her, are you?
-Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
-Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
-Leonard: Is Thai food okay with you, Penny?
-Penny: Sure.
-Sheldon: We can't have Thai food we had Indian for
lunch.
-Penny: So?
-Sheldon: They're both curry-based cuisines.
-Penny: So?
-Sheldon: It would be gastronomically redundant
I can see we're going to have to spell out everything
for this girl.
-Penny: Any ideas, Raj?
-Howard: Uh, turn left on lake street and head up to
Colorado.
I know a wonderful little sushi bar that has karaoke.
-Penny: That sounds like fun.
-Howard: Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me...
oh, baby, baby, don't get hooked on me…
-Sheldon: I don't know what your odds are in the world
as a whole,
but as far as the population of this car goes, you're
a veritable mack daddy.
真的吗太好了。
谢谢。
好。
你不会放弃她的，是不是
我们的孩子一定是美丽又聪慧。
更不用说想象力有多丰富了。
Penny，泰国菜没问题吧
是的。
我们不能吃这个，中午刚吃完印度菜。
那么?
他们都是以咖喱为主的。
所以?
会产生对美食的品尝疲劳。
我们要把一切都解释给她听。
有什么建议吗? Raj
Lake大街转左，往Colorado方向走。
我知道一些很不错的寿司店，还有卡拉OK。
听起来很不错。
宝贝，别被我迷住了。
宝贝，别被我迷住了。
我不知道在整个世界范围内你的成功概率有多少,
不过就这辆车子里的人来说，你还是很有希望的。
第一季 第2集
-Leonard
:

Here you go. Pad Thai, no peanuts.
-Howard
: But does it have peanut oil

-Leonard
: I'm not sure.
Everyone keep an eye on Howard in case he starts to swell up.
东西在这里，给你
但有花生油吧
我不清楚。
你们每个人都盯着Howard，以防他突然肿胀。
既然现在不是看<拼字大赛> ，你可以吃我的肾上腺素。
有筷子吗
你不需要筷子，这是泰国菜。
又来啦。
泰国自19世纪后半期起使用餐叉。
有趣的是，他们不直接叉食物进嘴，
而是叉食物进汤匙，再送进嘴里。
你敢不敢找他要餐巾纸，我去开门。
我看起来肿吗 我觉得有点鼓鼓的。
嗨，Leonard
嗨，Penny
打扰到你们了
没有。
你没有肿胀，Howard。
不，不，看我的手指，就像维也纳腊肠。
看起来你有客人。
他们哪儿也不去。
你刚下班啊，太好了。工作怎么样
你知道嘛芝士蛋糕工厂
人们购买蛋糕，我给他们就行。
也就是说，你类似于是，碳水化合物的运送系统。
是啊，随便你怎么叫它，我能拿到基本工资。
好吧，不管怎么说，我在想你能不能帮我个忙
没问题。
太好了。明天我有些家具要运过来，我可能不在家，所以...
-Sheldon
: Since it's not bee season, you can have my epinephrine.
-Howard
: Are there any chopsticks
-Sheldon
: You don't need chopsticks. This is Thai food.
-Leonard
: Here we go.
-Sheldon
: Thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th Century.
Interestingly, they don't actually put the fork in their mouth--
They use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into their mouth.
-Leonard
: Ask him for a napkin. I dare you. I'll get it.
-Howard
: Do I look puffy I feel puffy.
-Penny
：Hey, Leonard.
-Leonard
: Oh, hi, Penny.
-Penny
：Am I interrupting
-Leonard
: No.
-Sheldon
: You're not swelling, Howard.
-Howard
: No, no, look at my fingers. They're like Vienna sausages.
-Penny
：Sounds like you have company.
-Leonard
: They're not going anywhere.
So, you're coming home from work. That's great. How was work
-Penny
：Well, you know, it's a Cheesecake Factory.
People order cheesecake and I bring it to them…
-Leonard
: So you kind of act like a carbohydrate delivery system.
-Penny
：Yeah. Call it whatever you want, I get my minimum wage.
Yeah. Um, anyways, I was wondering if you could help me out with something. I've kinda had...
-Leonard
: Yes.
-Penny
：Okay, great. I'm having some furniture delivered tomorrow and I may not be here, so...

Oh. H… Hello. I'm sorry 你...你们好…抱歉
没人用俄语夸奖过你的绝世美貌吗
不，没有。
你得习惯这个。
呃，我可能很难习惯。
嘿 Sheldon 。 嗨
嘿 Raj。还是不理我，嗯
别放在心上。这是他的病状，他没法和女人说话。
没法和迷人的女人说话，而你是芝士蛋糕香气逼人的女神。
那么，有家具要搬过来
对。如果明天送来时我不在，你能帮我签收一下吗
然后搬进我的房间
没问题。
太好了，这是我的备用钥匙，谢谢！
Penny，等等。
怎么
呃... 如果你没别的计划，
要不来和我们一起吃泰国菜，还有超人电影马拉松
马拉松 哇噢，你们那儿有多少部超人电影
你开玩笑，对吧
我超喜欢那部，路易丝·莱恩从直升机上坠下。
超人嗖地一下过去接住她。
那是哪一部
就一部。
你知道那场景里，充斥着科学错误吧
是啊，我知道，人类不能飞。
不，不，让我们假设人类可以。
路易丝·莱恩以32英尺秒平方的初始加速度急速坠落，
超人突然下降，用钢铁般的手臂接住她。
莱恩小姐此时大约速度在120英里时，
猛撞上超人的手臂后，她会马上被切成三等分。
除非超人赶上她的速度并减速。
哪还有时间，先生 哪有时间
她离地面只有两英尺。
坦白讲，如果他真的爱她，就应该让她直接撞地。
那会是种更仁慈的死法。
抱歉，你全部的争论，都只是建立在一个假设上，
假设超人的飞行能力，是一种力量的特技。
你知道自己说什么吗
这一点是毋庸置疑的啊。
这是他跳跃高楼能力的延伸，
是他从太阳光中获取的能力。
你没发现问题吗 那他在夜里怎么飞行
哦，结合月球的日光反射，
以及氪星人皮肤细胞中贮存的能量。
我要回去洗个手先。
我那儿有2600本连环画册。
你敢不敢去找出，所谓的氪星人皮肤细胞的内容
接受挑战。我们被锁在外面了。
还有，漂亮女孩也走了。
房间在四楼，可是电梯坏了，
-Howard
: Haven't you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian
-Penny
：No, I haven't.
-Howard
: Get used to it.
-Penny
：Yeah. I probably won't.
Hey，Sheldon. Hi
Hey, Raj. Still not talking to me, huh
-Sheldon
: Don't take it personally, it's his pathology. He can't talk to women.
-Howard
: He can’t talk to attractive women or in your case, a cheesecake scented goddess.
-Leonard
: So there's going to be some furniture delivered
-Penny
：Yeah, yeah. If it gets here and I'm not here tomorrow, could you just sign for it，
and have them put it in my apartment
-Leonard
: No problem.
-Penny
：Great. Here's my spare key. Thank you.
Penny, wait.
-Penny
：Yeah
-Leonard
: Uh...If you don't have any other plans,
do you want to join us for Thai food and a Superman movie marathon
-Penny
：A marathon Wow. How many Superman movies are there
-Sheldon
: You're kidding, right
-Penny
：I do like the one where Lois Lane falls from the helicopter
and Superman swooshes down and catches her.
Which one was that
One（其他人齐声说）
-Sheldon
: You realize that scene was rife with scientific inaccuracy.
-Penny
：Yes, I know, men can't fly.
-Sheldon
: No, no. Let's assume that they can.
Lois Lane is falling, accelerating at an initial of 32 feet per second.
Superman swoops down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel.
Miss Lane, who is now traveling at approximately 120 miles an hour,
hits them and is immediately slice into three equal pieces.
-Leonard
: Unless Superman matches her speed and decelerates.
-Sheldon
: In what space, sir In what space
She's two feet above the ground.
Frankly, if he really loved her, he'd let her hit the pavement.
It'd be a more merciful death.
-Leonard
: Excuse me, your entire argument is predicated on the assumption
that Superman's flight is a feat of strength.
-Sheldon
: Are you listening to yourself
It is well established that Superman's flight is a feat of strength.
It is an extension of his ability to leap tall buildings.
an ability he derives from exposure to Earth's yellow sun.
-Howard
：And you don't have a problem with that How does he fly at night
-Sheldon
: Oh, a combination of the moon's solar reflection
and the energy-storage capacity of Kryptonian skin cells.
-Penny
：I'm just gonna go wash up.
-Leonard
: I have 2,600 comic books in there.
I challenge you to find a single reference to Kryptonian skin cells.
-Sheldon
: Challenge accepted. We're locked out.
-Raj
：Also, the pretty girl left.
-Leonard
: Ok, her apartment's on the fourth floor but the elevator's broken,

so you're gonna have to...
Oh, you're just gonna be done Okay. Cool. Thanks.
I guess we'll just bring it up ourselves.
所以你们得...
你们就这么走了 好吧，没事，谢谢。
我们自己搬上去吧。
我不这么想。
为什么不
呃，我们没有手推车，
没有升降运送带，也没有那么强悍的上肢力量。
我们不需要靠蛮力，我们是物理学家。
我们是阿基米德的精英后代。
给我一个杠杆，一个支点，我就能撬动地球。
可问题是...我没有。
我没有! 我没有!!
阿基米德会为你骄傲的。
你有办法吗
有，但都需要绿灯侠和能量指环 (美国漫画超级英雄)。
慢点...慢点
很好，现在我们弄成了斜面。
运上去所需的力度，按梯角的正弦值减少，
30度角的话，就减少一半力气。
正好一半。
正好一半。
来推吧。
看，推动了，很容易。
一切都是数学原理。
遇到转角，你用什么公式
什么 好吧呃...
没问题，你上来这儿帮我拉，然后转弯。
啊，地心引力，你真是无良的婊子。
你得明白，我们这儿所有的努力，
绝不可能增加你和那女人，发生性关系的几率。
男人为女人做事，并不是只求做爱予以回报。
那是对于，刚做过爱的男人来说。
我这么做，是想成为一个好邻居。
无论如何，这也绝不会降低几率啊。
快到了。快到了。快到了。
不，还没到。不，还没到。
对不起。
小心你的手指。
好的。
上帝啊我的手指!
你没事吧
不，她... 伟大凯撒的亡灵啊，看看这地方。
看来Penny的房间有一点凌乱。
有一点凌乱
高次幂Mandelbrot集的复杂数字，才叫有一点凌乱。
这简直是一团糟。
不好意思。
你解释下，一个餐具盘放在沙发上，这样的组织系统能叫合理
吗
-Sheldon
: I hardly think so.
-Leonard
: Why not
-Sheldon
: Well, we don't have a dolly,
or lifting belts or any measurable upper-body strength.
-Leonard
: We don't need strength-- we're physicists.
We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes.
Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the Earth.
It's just a matter of... I don't have this.
I don't have this! I do not have this!!
-Sheldon
: Archimedes would be so proud.
-Leonard
: Do you have any ideas
-Sheldon
: Yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring.
-Leonard
: Easy... easy.
Okay. Now we've got an inclined plane.
The force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs,
call it 30 degrees, so, about half.
-Sheldon
: Exactly half.
-Leonard
: Exactly half.
Let's push..
Okay. See, it's moving, this is easy.
It's all in the math.
-Sheldon
: What's your formula for the corner
-Leonard
: What Okay, uh...
Okay, yeah, no problem. Just come up here, help me and turn.
-Sheldon
: Ah, gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
You do understand that our efforts here will
in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman.
-Leonard
: Men do things for women without expecting sex.
-Sheldon
: Those would be men who just had sex.
-Leonard
: I'm doing this to be a good neighbor.
In any case, there's no way it could lower the odds.
-Leonard
: Almost there. Almost there. Almost there.
-Sheldon
: No, we're not. We’re not.
-Leonard
: I'm sorry.
-Sheldon
: Watch your fingers. Watch your fingers.
-Leonard
: Yeah.
-Sheldon
: Oh, God, my fingers!
-Leonard
: You okay
-Sheldon
: No, her... Great Caesar's ghost, look at this place.
-Leonard
: So Penny's a little messy.
-Sheldon
: A little messy
The Mandelbrot set of complex numbers is a little messy.
This is chaos.
Excuse me.
Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid.
Now, I'm just inferring that this is a couch
because the evidence s the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
现在，我只是假设这是沙发，
因为证据显示，咖啡桌上正进行一场小型旧货出售。

-Leonard
: Did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organize
and label the entire world around them
你有没想过，并不是每个人都觉得必须要... 归类、整理、
并将一切事物都贴上标签
没有想过。
其实人们不这样，也许你很难相信，
大多数人并不用纤维量，去归类他们的芥麦早餐。
抱歉，但我认为我们都发现，有时那个很管用。
快点，我们得走了。
等一下。
你在干嘛
我在清理。
Sheldon，这不是你的家。
这根本不能叫家，这是社会恶化的旋涡中心。
当易装癖住在这儿的时候，你就不计较他怎么糟蹋这的。
因为他的很完美。当你打开那男人的衣橱时，从左到右，依次
是女士晚礼服、
女士短裙、然后是警察制服。
你去翻他的衣橱干什么
我帮他调试摄像头网线。
嘿，伙计们。
嘿，Penny。
家具刚到，我们搬上来...刚刚。
太好了，你们搬上楼来很费劲吧
不。
不
不。
不。
好了，我们出去了。
太好了，再次谢谢你们。
Penny，我只是想让你知道，你没必要这样生活。
有我在呢。
他在说什么
说笑话。
我没听懂。
是啊，他讲不来笑话的。
Sheldon! Sheldon 哈罗 Sheldon!
嘘，嘘，Penny在睡觉。
你疯了吗
你不能就这么闯进一间女人的公寓，深更半夜，还打扫整理。
我别无选择。
我没法睡着，明明知道，我卧室外是客厅，客厅外是走廊，而
直接紧接走廊的是...这个。
你有没想过，万一Penny醒了，
该如何解释我们在这儿呢。
我刚就给了你一个合理解释。
不，不，你给了我一个解释。
可它的合理性，得由你的同伴陪审团来裁决。
别说笑了。我没什么同伴。
Sheldon，我们得出去。
也许你得降低声调。
什么
人类进化使得女性在睡觉时，对高声调的噪音特别敏感，
-Sheldon
: No.
-Leonard
: Well, they don't. Hard as it may be for you to believe,
most people don't sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content.
-Sheldon
: Excuse me, but I think we've both found that helpful at times.
-Leonard
: Come on, we should go.
-Sheldon
: Hang on.
-Leonard
: What are you doing
-Sheldon
: I'm straightening up.
-Leonard
: Sheldon, this is not your home.
-Sheldon
: No, this is not anyone's home. This is a swirling vortex of entropy.
-Leonard
: When the transvestite lived here, you didn't care how he kept the place.
-Sheldon
: Because it was immaculate. I mean, you opened that man's closet, it was left to right
evening gowns,
cocktail dresses, then his police uniforms.
-Leonard
: What were you doing in his closet
-Sheldon
: I helped him run some cable for a web cam.
-Penny
：Hey, guys.
-Leonard
: Oh, Hey, Penny.
This just arrived, we just brought this up... just now.
-Penny
：Great. Was it hard getting it up the stairs
-Leonard
: No.
-Sheldon
:
-Leonard
: No.
-Sheldon
: No.
-Leonard
: Well, we'll get out of your here.
-Penny
：Okay, great. Thank you again.
-Sheldon
: Penny...I just want you to know that you don't have to live like this.
I'm here for you.
-Penny
：What's he talking about
-Leonard
: It's a joke.
-Penny
：I don't get it.
-Leonard
: Yeah, he didn't tell it right.
-Leonard
: Sheldon Sheldon! Hello Sheldon!
-Sheldon
: Shh, Shh, shh. Penny's sleeping.
-Leonard
: Are you insane
You can't just break into a woman's apartment in the middle of the night and clean.
-Sheldon
: I had no choice.
I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room, and immediately adjacent
to the hallway was... this.
-Leonard
: Do you realize that if Penny wakes up,
there is no reasonable explanation as to why we're here.
-Sheldon
: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
-Leonard
: No, no, you gave me an explanation.
Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.
-Sheldon
: Don't be ridiculous. I have no peers.
-Leonard
: Sheldon, we have to get out of here.
-Sheldon
: You might want to speak in a lower register.
-Leonard
: What
-Sheldon
: Evolution has made women sensitive to high-pitched noises while they sleep

so that they'll be roused by a crying baby.
If you want to avoid waking her, speak in a lower register.
这样她们就能被哭闹的婴儿唤醒。
如果你不想吵醒她，降低声调。
太可笑了!
不，太可笑了。
好吧，我接受你的假设，拜托，我们走。
没清理完，我不会走的。
如果你如此清闲，还不如帮着清理。
噢，该死的。
早上好。
早上好。
我得说我睡得非常好。
老实说，睡得不久，但是很深很沉。
我不觉得惊讶。
一个有名的民间治愈失眠法，就是闯入邻居的房间打扫清理。
讽刺我吗
你说呢
老实说，我的方法也许有些极端，
但我认为最终有效地，增进了Penny的生活质量。
你说得对，也许今晚我们该再偷溜去，给她的地毯来个泡泡浴。
你不觉得那样太过火了吗
当然。
Sheldon，难道要我每次开口讽刺你时，都举块讽刺牌
你有讽刺牌
不，我没有讽刺牌。
你想来些芥麦吗
今天感觉真好，我决定选择，架子尾端的低纤维食物。
哈罗，蜂蜜泡芙。
狗娘养的!
Penny起床了。
你们这些恶心变态的杂种!
她怎么知道是我们
我也许在她卧室的衣橱，留下了一个暗示性的组织记号。
Leonard!
上帝啊，糟糕了。
再见，蜂蜜泡芙。哈罗，大糠芥麦。
你们昨晚趁我睡着时，进了我的房间!
是的，但只是帮你清理房间。
顶多也就是整理。本质上讲，你并不脏。
把钥匙还给我。
我非常抱歉。
你们知道这有多么可怕吗
是的，我们昨晚详细地讨论过了。
我的房间，趁我睡着时!
还打鼾，那也许是种鼻窦传染病。
但那会引发睡眠时呼吸暂停，你最好去看耳鼻喉科医师。
就是看咽喉的医生。
哪种医生能从屁股里提鞋
依深度来看，那可能是直肠病医生，或是普通外科医生。
讽刺（纸上写的）
上帝!
Penny，你现在的想法完全正确，也许再过一会儿，
-Leonard
: That's ridiculous!
-Sheldon
: No. That's ridiculous.
-Leonard
: Fine. I accept your premise. Now, please, let's go.
-Sheldon
: I'm not leaving until I'm done.
If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.
-Leonard
: Oh, what the hell.
-Sheldon
: Morning.
-Leonard
: Morning.
-Sheldon
: I have to say I slept splendidly.
Granted, not long, but just deeply and well.
-Leonard
: I'm not surprised.
A well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbor's apartment and clean.
-Sheldon
: Sarcasm
-Leonard
: You think
-Sheldon
: Granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox,
but I think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to Penny's quality of life.
-Leonard
: You've convinced me. Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet.
-Sheldon
: You don't think that crosses a line
-Leonard
: Yes.
For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth
-Sheldon
: You have a sarcasm sign
-Leonard
: No, I do not have a sarcasm sign.
-Sheldon
: Do you want some cereal
I feel so good today; I'm going to choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf.
Hello, Honey Puffs.
-Penny
：Son of a bitch!
-Leonard
: Penny's up.
-Penny
：You sick geeky bastards!
-Leonard
: How did she know it was us
-Sheldon
: I may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet.
-Penny
：Leonard!
-Leonard
: God, this is going to be bad.
-Sheldon
: Good- bye, Honey Puffs. Hello, Big Bran.
-Penny
：You came into my apartment last night while I was sleeping!
-Leonard
: Yes, but only to clean.
-Sheldon
: Really more to organize. You're not actually dirty, per se.
-Penny
：Give me back my key.
-Leonard
: I'm very, very sorry.
-Penny
：Do you understand how creepy this is
-Leonard
: Oh, yes, we discussed it at length last night.
-Penny
：In my apartment, while I was sleeping!
-Sheldon
: And snoring. And that's probably just a sinus infection.
But it could be sleep apnea. You might want to see an otolaryngologist.
The throat doctor.
-Penny
：And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses
-Sheldon
: Depending on the depth, that's either a... proctologist or a general surgeon.
-Leonard
: SARCASM
-Penny
：God!
-Leonard
: Penny, I think what you're feeling is perfectly valid and maybe a little bit later today

when you're feeling a little less...
for lack of a better word-- violated,
maybe we can talk about this some more.
当你感到不是那么...
该怎么说，被冒犯时，
我们可以再谈谈这件事。
离我远点。
当然，那也是种方法。
Penny，Penny! 等等。
澄清一下，因为你离开后，这儿会展开讨论。
你是只反对我们，趁你睡着时偷溜进你房间，
还是也反对被强迫接受一个，全新而井井有条的模范房间
呃，这个回答太含糊了。
你得马上大步走去，正式向她道歉。
有什么好笑的
那不是讽刺吗
不是。
哇，小子，今早什么话都是你说了算啊。
我有一个硕士学位，两个博士学位，我不应该这么做。
什么事!
对于昨晚发生的事，我真挚地向你道歉。
我负全部责任。
而且我希望不会影响到，你对Leonard的看法。
他不仅仅是个好人，而且我听说，他是个温和细心的好情人。
我尽力了。
嗨，Raj。
嘿，听着。
我不知道你是否听说了，昨晚 Leonard和Sheldon干的事，
但我是真的很生气。
我是说，他们... 居然闯进我的房间打扫。
你能相信吗
那多么奇怪。
她离我非常近。
哦，她闻起来真香。
什么味道，香草
知道吗，在我家乡，如果有人这样做，你直接毙了他，明白吗
不仅仅是射伤他。
我是说，好吧，我姐姐把她丈夫开枪打死了，但只是意外，他
们喝醉了。
-Penny
：Stay away from me.
-Leonard
: Sure, that's another way to go.
-Sheldon
: Penny, Penny! Hold on.
Just to clarify, because there will be a discussion when you leave.
Is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping,
or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm.
Well, that was a little non-responsive.
-Leonard
: You are going to march yourself over there right now and apologize.
What's funny
-Sheldon
: That wasn't sarcasm
-Leonard
: No.
-Sheldon
: Whoo, boy, you are all over the place this morning.
I have a master's and two Ph.D.s, I should not have to do this.
-Penny
：What!
-Sheldon
: I am truly sorry for what happened last night.
I take full responsibility.
And I hope that it won't color your opinion of Leonard,
who is not only a wonderful guy, but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
I did what I could.
-Penny
：Hey, Raj.
Hey, listen.
I don't know if you heard about what happened last night with Leonard and Sheldon,
but I'm really upset about it.
I mean, they just... they let themselves into my place and then they cleaned it.
Can you even believe that
How weird is that
-Raj
：she's standing very close to me.
Oh, my, she does smell good.
What is that, vanilla
-Penny
：You know, where I come from, if someone comes into your house at night, you shoot. Okay
And you don't shoot to wound.
I mean, all right, my sister shot her husband, but it was an accident, they were drunk.
Wait, what was I saying 等等，我刚说什么
她的话真多。
也许爸妈说得对。
也许我最好和一个印度女孩远走高飞。
我们有相同的文化背景，
我妻子可以给孩子们唱同样的摇篮曲，就像我妈妈对我唱的一
样。
-Raj
：She's so chatty.
Maybe my parents are right.
Maybe I'd be better off with an Indian girl.
We'd have the same cultural background
and my wife could sing to my children the same lullabies my mother sang to me.
-Penny
：It's obvious that they meant well, but I'm just...
-Penny
：I'm having a really rough time. Like I said, I broke up with my boyfriend and...
I mean, just because most of the men I've known in my life happen to be jerks,
doesn't mean I should just assume Leonard and Sheldon are. Right
很明显他们是好意，但我只是...
我这段时间很难熬。就像我说的，我和男友分手了...
因为我生命中出现的大部分男人都是混蛋，
但并不表明我能假定，Leonard和Sheldon也是，对吗
她问我问题了，我应该点头。
我就是这么想的，谢谢你的倾听。
你真是个好人。
哇哦，转动你的骨盘。
-Raj
：She asked me a question. I should probably nod.
-Penny
：That's exactly what I thought. Thank you for listening.
You're a doll.
-Raj
：Uh-oh. Turn your pelvis.

-Howard
：Phew!Grab a napkin, homie. You just got served.
-Leonard
：It's fine. You-You win.
-Howard
：What's his problem
-Sheldon
：His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
-Howard
：Been there.
-Raj
：Hello.
Sorry I'm late, but I was in the hallway, chatting up Penny.
喔!拿张纸巾吧，哥们，尝到逊的滋味了吧。
好了，你赢了。
怎么回事
他假想的女友和他分手了。
又来了。
哈罗。
抱歉迟到了，我在走廊和Penny聊天。
真的 你 Rajesh Koothrappali 和Penny说话了
事实上，我更多的是倾听者，而非叙述者。
她说了些什么 她还生我气吗
呃，她开始很生气，
但可能因为她姐姐开枪射死过某人。
但然后提到了你们，再然后就抱了我。
她抱你 怎么抱你的
我闻到的是她的香水味吗
令人陶醉，不是吗
嗨。
怎么了
呃...是这样。
Penny，就像奥本海默站出来，为他发明第一枚原子弹而道歉，
我同样为我参与的一点判断失误感到抱歉。
人类伟大实验的标志在于，主动承认错误。
这些错误，例如居里夫人发现的镭，被发现具有巨大的科学研
究潜力，
-Howard
：Really You, Rajesh Koothrappali, spoke to Penny
-Raj
：Actually, I was less the chatter than the chat-ee.
-Leonard
：What did she say Is she still mad at me
-Raj
：Well, she was upset at first,
but probably because her sister shot somebody.
But then there was something about you, and then she hugged me.
-Howard
：She hugged you How'd she hug you
Is that her perfume I smell
-Raj
：Intoxicating ,isn't it
-Penny
：Hi.
What's going on
-Leonard
：Um... Here’s the thing.
Penny，just as Oppenheimer came regret to his contribution to the first atomic bomb,
so too I regret my participation, at least error in judgment.
The hallmark of the great human experiment is the willingness to recognize one's mistakes.
Some mistakes，such as Madam Curie discovered radium，turned out to have great scientific potential,
even though she would later die a slow, death from radiation poisoning.
Another example, from the field of Ebola research...
虽然她此后死于，慢性而痛苦的辐射中毒。
另一例子，在埃博拉病毒的研究领域…
Leonard
嗯
我们没事了。
62个木钉。
有。
一包飞利浦螺旋钉。
有。
伙计们，我在农场长大的，好不好
我大概，12岁时，就重组了一台拖拉机发动机。
我想我能组装这样一个，便宜的瑞典货家庭影院。
不，让我们来。考虑到这是我们唯一能做的。
考虑到什么 这地方看起来多棒
伙计，我害怕这个。
什么
这些说明书，尽是组装这些配件最没有想象力的方法。
-Penny
：Leonard
-Leonard
：Yeah
-Penny
：We're okay.
-Leonard
：62 wood dowels.
-Sheldon
：Check.
-Leonard
：One package Phillips head screws.
-Sheldon
：check
-Penny
：You guys, seriously, I grew up on a farm, okay
I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was, like, 12.
I think I can put together a cheap, Swedish media center.
-Leonard
：No, please. We insist. It's the least we can do, considering.
-Sheldon
：Considering what How great this place look
-Howard
：Oh, boy. I was afraid of this.
-Raj
：what
-Howard
：These instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative way to
assemble these components.
This right, here is why Sweden has no space program. 这就是为什么，瑞典没有太空计划。
呃，在商店里看起来还不错。
这个设计效率很低。比方说，Penny有一台纯平电视，
这意味着，后面的空间都浪费了。
我们可以把她的立体音响放在后面。
怎么控制调节呢
接一个红外线转发器。
这边发射区域，这边发射器，简单易行。
好主意，那你怎么散热
-Penny
：Well, it-it looked pretty good in the store.
-Leonard
：It is an inefficient design. For example, Penny has a flat screen TV,
which means all the space behind it is wasted.
-Sheldon
：We could put her stereo back there.
-Leonard
：And control it how
-Sheldon
：Run an infrared repeater.
Photo cell here, emitter here, easy- peasy.
-Howard
：Good point. How are you going to cool it

-Penny
：Hey, guys, I got this.
-Sheldon
：Hang on, Penny.
How about fans Here and here.
嘿，伙计们，我来弄这个。
等等，Penny。
扇子如何 这里和这里。
还是不行，可能会有噪音。
液体冷却剂如何也许放个玻璃钢泵在这儿。
液体冷却剂如何 也许放个玻璃缸泵在这儿。
装四分之一英尺的PVC...
伙计们，这个其实真的很简单。
等等，亲爱的，男人在做事。
PVC从这儿下来。
也许一点褶皱的金属片，作散热器放这儿。
真的吗 指指看，在哪儿放水柱、水闸、和蓄水池。
如果要引水进来，我们就得接地线。
伙计们，这儿很热，我想我要把衣服都脱了。
哦，我明白了。
要不，我们换掉面板A B和F 横木H ，用航行器使用的铝
对，那这整个就是一个大散热器。
完美，Leonard，你和Sheldon去废品回收站，
找些六平方米的废铝片。
Raj和我去实验室弄些氧乙炔炬。
一小时后见
就这样。
明白。
好吧，这里看起来确实不错。
-Leonard
：Also inefficient, and might be loud.
How about liquid coolant Maybe a little aquarium pump here,
-Howard
：How about liquid coolant Maybe a little aquarium pump here,
run some quarter- inch PVC...
-Penny
：Guys, this is actually really simple.
-Howard
：Hold on, honey. Men at work.
The PVC comes down here.
Maybe a little corrugated sheet metal as a radiator here.
-Leonard
：Oh , really Show me where we put a drip tray, a sluice, and an overflow reservoir.
-Sheldon
：If water's involved, we're going to have to ground the crap out of the thing.
-Penny
：Guys, it's hot in here. I think I'll just take off all my clothes.
-Leonard
：Oh, I've got it.
What about if we replace panels A, B and F and crossbar H with aircraft-grade aluminum
-Sheldon
：Right. Then the entire thing is one big heat sink.
-Howard
：Perfect. Leonard, why don't you and Sheldon go to the junk yard
and pick up about six square meters of scrap aluminum
Raj and I will run down to my lab and get the oxyacetylene torch.
-Leonard
：Meet back here in an hour
-Howard
：Done.
-Leonard
：Got it.
-Penny
：Okay, this place does look pretty good.
第一季 第3集：The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
-Howard：All right, just a few more feet. And...
here we are, gentlemen, the gates of Elzebob.
-Sheldon：Good lord.
非常好，再前进几步...
准备好，先生们，Elzebob大门到了。
上帝啊。
-Leonard：Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have 别慌，坚持97小时的战斗就为了这一刻。
been about.
-Howard：Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on 待着别动，一群装备武器的地妖精，正在门的另一边，守卫着
the other side of that gate guarding the sword of Asaroth. 艾辛诺斯之刃。
-Leonard：Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic 战士们，拔出你们的武器，法师们，举起你们的魔杖。
wielders, raise your wands.
-Sheldon：Lock and load.
-Howard：Raj, blow the gates.
-Raj：Blowing the gates.
Control, shift... b!
Oh, my god, so many goblins!
准备好了。
Raj，推开大门。
推开大门。
Control，Shift...B!
天啊，那么多地精!
-Howard：Don't just stand there, slash and move, slash and 别傻站在那里，向前开路! 向前开路!
move!
-Leonard：Stay in formation!
-Howard：Leonard, you got one on your tail.
保持阵形!
Leonard，有个敌人在你背后。
-Leonard：That's all right, my tail's prehensile- - I'll 没事，我脑后长眼着呢，我会干掉他的。
swat him off.
-Raj：I got him, Leonard.
Tonight I spice my mead with goblin blood.
-Leonard：Raj, no, it's a trap! They're flanking us!
-Raj：He's got me!
我打中他了，Leonard。
今晚我要用那地精的血来祭酒。
Raj，不要，这是个陷阱! 他们在夹击我们!
我被打中了!

-Leonard：Sheldon, he's got raj. Use your sleep spell!
Sheldon Sheldon
-Sheldon：I've got the sword of Asaroth!
-Sheldon：There is no more Sheldon.
I am the sword master!
-Howard：Leonard, look out!
-Leonard： it, man, we're dying here!
-Sheldon：Good - bye, peasants!
-Leonard：The bastard teleported!
-Raj：He's selling the sword of Asaroth on ebay.
-Leonard：You betrayed us for money Who are you
Sheldon，他打中Raj了，快用你的催眠咒!
Sheldon Sheldon
我拿到了艾辛诺斯之刃!
我不再是Sheldon了。
我是剑圣!
Leonard，当心!
该死，我们快不行了!
再见了，土人们!
那混蛋走了!
他在ebay上出售那把艾辛诺斯之刃。
你为了钱背叛我们 你怎么这样
-Sheldon：I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read 我是暗夜精灵盗贼，你们没有读过角色介绍吗
character descriptions
Wait, wait, wait! Somebody just clicked
-Howard：Ooh, I’m the sword master.
等等! 有人点击了立即购买
我是剑圣!
-Sheldon：Ooh, I'm all sweaty. Anybody want to log on to 哦，我身上都是汗，谁想再进入《第二人生》游个泳
second life and go swimming
I just built a virtual pool. 我刚建了个虚拟游泳池。
-Leonard：No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now. 不，我现在不想看见你或是你的兽身。
-Howard：Sounds like your neighbor's home.
-Leonard：Excuse me.
好像是隔壁的声音。
失陪。
-Sheldon：Don't forget the mail you took accidentally we 别忘了带上你无意拿到的信件，
on purpose,
so you'd have an excuse to talk to her.
-Leonard：Oh, right, right, right, right.
这样你就有借口跟她说话了。
噢，对，对。
-Howard：Stealing snail mail- - very old school. I like 偷窃信箱邮件，很老套的方法，我喜欢。
it.
-Leonard：Penny, the mailman, did it again... he... oh, Penny 邮差又... 哦，抱歉。
sorry.
-Penny：Um, oh, hi, Leonard. This is Doug.
Doug, this is my neighbor Leonard.
-Doug：What's up, bro
-Leonard：Not much... bro.
-Penny：Is everything okay
嗨，Leonard，这是Doug。
Doug，这是我邻居Leonard。
有事吗，老兄
没什么... 老兄。
一切还好吧
-Leonard：Yeah, no, I just... I got your mail again. Here. 是啊，我只是... 我又错拿了你的信，给你。
-Penny：Thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman. 谢谢，我得和邮差说说了。
-Leonard：Oh, no, that's probably not such a good idea. 不，这主意不怎么好。
You know, civil servants have a documented propensity to, 人民公仆总是非常容易...动粗，
you know, snap, so...
-Penny：Okay. Well, thank you again.
-Leonard： No problem. Bye.
Oh, and bye... bro.
-Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts.
-Raj: What's the matter
-Leonard：I'm fine. Penny's fine.
The guy she's kissing is really fine.
好吧，还是谢谢你。
没问题，再见。
哦再见...老兄。
呆呆地在想什么呢 (此谚语中正好有Penny一词)
怎么回事
我很好，Penny也很好。
和她接吻的家伙也很好。
-Howard：Kissing, what kind of kissing Cheeks 接吻，哪一种 脸颊 嘴唇 下巴 （情人）朋友
LipsChinsFriend
-Leonard：What is wrong with you
-Howard：I'm a romantic.
你什么毛病啊
我是个浪漫主义者。
-Sheldon: Please don't tell me that your hopeless 别告诉我你不可救药的迷恋，发展成了无意义的嫉妒。

infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
-Leonard：I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for 我不是嫉妒，只是有点担心她。
her.
I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
-Howard：Because he looks better than you
-Leonard：Yeah. He was kind of dreamy.
我不怎么喜欢那家伙的长相。
因为他长得比你帅气
是啊，可以说是梦幻般的外形。
-Sheldon: Well, at least now you can retrieve the black 至少你现在还能从燃烧的废墟里，找回装满对她美妙幻想的黑
box from the twisted, smothering wreckage that was once 匣子，
your fantasy of dating her
and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek 好好分析下数据，你就不会再坠入呆子谷。
mountain.
-Howard：I didn’t agree, love is not a sprint; it's a 我反对，爱情不是短跑，而是马拉松。
marathon- -
a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into 永不放弃地追逐，直到她最终投入你的怀抱。
your arms...
or hits you with the pepper spray.
-Leonard：No, I'm done with penny.
或是用防狼喷雾剂喷你。
不，我和Penny结束了。
I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own 我要更现实些，去追求合我拍的人。
speed.
-Raj：Like who
-Leonard：I don't know... Olivia Geiger.
比如谁
不知道... Olivia Geiger。
-Sheldon: The dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and 自助餐厅里那个有点跛，还有弱视的营养学家
the lazy eye
-Leonard：Yeah.
-Sheldon: Oh, I don't think you have a shot there.
是的。
哦，我看你没戏。
I have noticed that Leslie Winkle recently started shaving 我注意到Leslie Winkle最近在刮她的腿毛。
her legs.
Now given that winter is coming, 既然冬天都已经到了，
one can only assume she's signaling sexual availability. 只能说明她是在暗示，她可以作为做爱对象。
-Howard：I don't know. You guys work in the same lab.
-Leonard：So
-Howard：There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know.
我不清楚，你们在同一个实验室。
所以呢
这有隐患，相信我，我清楚。
When it comes to sexual harassment law, I'm a bit of a 说到性骚扰的相关法律，我可是自学而成的专家。
self-taught expert.
-Leonard：Look, Howard, if I were to ask Leslie winkle out, Howard，如果我要约Leslie Winkle出去，也只是吃顿饭。
it would just be for dinner.
I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked 我不会去实验室，要她为我跳脱衣舞。
and dance for me.
-Howard：Oh, then you're probably okay.
-Leonard：Hello, Leslie.
- Leslie：Hi, Leonard.
哦，那你就没事了。
嗨，Leslie。
嗨，Leonard。
-Leonard：Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment... Leslie，我建议做个实验...
-Leslie：Goggles, Leonard. 戴上眼镜，Leonard。
-Leonard：Right. Leslie, I would like propose an 好吧。Leslie，我建议做个实验。
experiment.
-Leslie：Hang on. 等一下。
I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500 kilowatt oxygen 我想试试一个500千瓦氧碘激光器，
iodine laser
to heat up my cup noodles. 得花多久把我的杯装泡面加热。
-Leonard：I've done it. About two seconds. 2. 6 for 我试过，大概2秒，蔬菜汤花2.6秒。
minestrone.

Anyway, I was thinking more of a bio- social exploration 总之，我在考虑来个生物学的社交探索，结合神经化学方面的
with a neuro- chemical overlay.
-Leslie：Wait, are you asking me out
专家知识。
等等，你约我出去
-Leonard：I was going to characterize it as the 我认为是改变我们同事友谊关系的范例，
modification of our colleague- slash- friendship
paradigm.
with the addition of a date like component,
but we don't need to quibble over terminology.
-Leslie：What sort of experiment would you propose
外加个约会作为补充成分，
但我们不需要一直说术语。
你计划做怎样的实验
-Leonard：There's a generally accepted pattern in this 这个领域有种普遍接受的模式。
area.
I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant.
Then we would see a movie,
我去接你，带你去餐厅，
接着我们可以看场电影。
probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh 也许一部休·格兰特或桑德拉·布洛克天才演绎的浪漫轻喜剧。
Grant or Sandra Bullock.
-Leslie：Interesting. 有意思。
And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate 你是否同意，我们评价约会成败的依据是基于离别之吻时的化
either the success or failure of the date would be based 学反应
on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss
-Leonard：Heart rate, pheromones, etc. Yes. 心跳率、生化信息素等等，的确。
-Leslie：Why don't we just stipulate that the date goes 我们干嘛不假定约会很顺利，直接进行关键的有变数的部分
well and move to the key variable
-Leonard：You mean kiss you now
-Leslie：Yes.
-Leonard：Can you define the parameters of the kiss
-Leslie：Close mouthed but romantic. Mint
-Leonard：Thank you.
Shall I count down from three
-Leslie：No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.
What do you think
你意思是现在就吻你
是的。
你怎么定义吻的参数吗
嘴唇的亲密度还有浪漫度，要薄荷吗
谢谢。
我数三下
不，我觉得应该自然点。
感觉怎么样
-Leonard：You proposed the experiment. I think you should 你提出的实验方案，该由你先说说实验的发现。
present your findings first.
-Leslie：Fair enough.
On the plus side, it was a good kiss.
Reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle.
On the other hand, no arousal.
-Leonard：None
-Leslie：None.
-Leonard：Well, thank you for your time.
-Leslie：Thank you.
-Leonard：None at all
很公平。
从正面讲，这个吻很不错。
合理的技术，没有多余的唾沫。
另一方面讲，没什么感觉。
没感觉
没有。
呃，很感谢你抽出时间。
谢谢你。
一点感觉都没
-Howard：Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you Sheldon，如果你是机器人，我知道但你自己不知道...
didn't...
would you want me to tell you
- Sheldon：That depends.
When I learn that I'm a robot...
will I be able to handle it
你希望我告诉你吗
看情况。
当我得知我是机器人...
我有能力承受吗
-Howard：Maybe- - although the history of science fiction 也许吧，虽然历来的科幻小说都不能苟同这点。
is not on your side.
- Sheldon：Okay, uh, let me ask you this- -
when I learn that I'm a robot,
好吧，我来问你。
当我得知我是机器人，

would I be bound by Asimov's three laws of robotics
-Raj：You might be bound by them right now.
我要受限于阿西莫夫的机器人三定律吗
你可能现在就受限哦。
-Howard：That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being 就是啊，你伤害过人类吗
or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm 或任人受伤而袖手旁观
- Sheldon：Of course not. 当然没有。
-Howard：Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself 除了在他人危险的情况下，你会伤害自己或容忍自己被伤害吗
to be harmed except in cases where a human being would have
been endangered
- Sheldon：Well, no.
-Howard：I smell robot.
-Leonard：Hey, what's going on
- Sheldon：Internet's been down for half an hour.
-Raj：Also, Sheldon may be a robot.
-Howard：So how'd it go with Leslie
呃，没有。
我闻到机器人的味道了 (以上问题均出自机器人三定律。
嘿，过得怎么样
互联网瘫痪半个小时了。
还有 Sheldon可能是机器人。
和Leslie怎么样啦
-Leonard：Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. 哦，我们试着接吻，但地球没转。
I mean, any more than the 383 miles that it was going to 我是说，比地球原来转的383英里要更多。
move anyway.
- Sheldon：Oh, I've seen that look before. 哦，我以前看过他这表情。
This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious 未来两周他将一直闷闷不乐，哼唱乏味的情感歌曲，
emo songs.
and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. 要我下去宠物商店看猫。
I don't know if I can take it.
-Raj：You could power down..
-Howard：Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution.
我不知道撑不撑得住。
你可以关掉自己的电源。
一如既往，Wolowitz会有解决办法的。
I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible 我碰巧知道个好地方，有很多符合条件的女士。
women
and Leonard could have his pick.
-Dancer：Remember the Latin hips.
Shoulders stay still, and... we sway.
One, two, three... ...five, six, seven.
-Howard：I think Mrs. Tishman's got her eye on you.
I've been there. You're in for a treat.
-Leonard：She said,
You
- Sheldon：Oh, good lord.
-Leonard：She said,
you don't wear my chains
Oh, yeah. God, that's a good song.
Leonard可以任意选。
记住拉丁舞的技巧。
肩膀挺直，然后摇摆。
一二三... 五六七。
Tishman女士一直盯着你呢。
我有过经验，你会喜欢的。
她说，你不了解我，
你甚至不在乎，哦，耶…
哦，上帝。
她说，你不了解我，
你不戴我送你的项链。
哦，耶，天啊，这歌真棒。
- Sheldon：If you're compiling a mix CD for a double 当然，如果这是你为双重自杀混合录制的CD。
suicide.
Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you. 我希望那猫抓柱是你自己用的。
-Leonard：I know what you're thinking. I've taken your 我知道你在想什么，你的哮喘病我有考虑在内。
asthma into account.
There's a feline geneticist in San Diego 圣地亚哥有个研究猫科的遗传学家，
who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos. 培育了一种超可爱的低变应原小猫。
- Sheldon：Leonard, listen to me...
-Leonard：I've been thinking about names.
Leonard，听我说...
我在想给它起什么名字。
I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant 在爱因斯坦、牛顿和毛靴中士之间犹豫。
fuzzy boots.
- Sheldon：Leonard, do you really think you can satisfy Leonard，你真认为养一只转基因猫，可以满足你的感情需要吗
your need for a relationship with a genetically altered

cat
-Leonard：Maybe.
If it's a cute, little, cuddly cat.
- Sheldon：Oh, come on. Leonard...
this is obviously about penny.
-Leonard：It doesn't matter.
也许。
一只让人爱不释手的可爱小猫。
得了吧，Leonard...
这都是因为Penny吧。
没所谓。
The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me. 她对我不感兴趣，拒绝了我。
- Sheldon：Okay, look, I think that you have as much of 听着，我认为你能跟Penny做爱的几率，
a chance of having a sexual relationship with penny
as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center 跟哈勃太空望远镜发现在每个黑洞中央都有个小人在用闪光灯
of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight 寻找断路器的几率一样大。
searching for a circuit breaker.
Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that 尽管如此，我还是有责任向你指出，她并没有拒绝你。
she did not reject you.
You did not ask her out.
-Leonard：You're right.
I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
-Sheldon：No, no, now that was not my point.
My point was don't buy a cat.
-Leonard：No, but you're right.
I should march over there and ask her out.
-Sheldon：Oh, goody, we're getting a cat.
-Leonard：Uh... no.
-Penny：Oh, hey, Leonard.
-Leonard：Good afternoon, penny. So, hi... hey.
Uh...I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
-Penny：Uh, you mean dinner tonight
你从没邀请她去约会。
你说的对。
我没请她约会过，我该去请她约会。
不，不，不，重点不是这个。
重点是不要养猫。
不，你是对的。
我该过去请她约会。
天，我们要养猫了。
啊...不。
你好，Leonard。
下午好，Penny，嗨，你好。
呃... 你约了人吃饭吗
今晚的饭
-Leonard：There is an inherent ambiguity in the word 饭这个词本身就意思含糊。
”.
Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day 严格说来，它所指的是一日的主餐，可以是午餐或晚餐。
whenever it's consumed.
So to clarify here, by dinner I mean supper.
-Penny：Supper
为了说清楚，我指的是晚饭。
晚饭
-Leonard：Or dinner. I was thinking 6:30 if you can go. 就是吃饭啦。如果你有空6点半行吗 或者其他你方便的时间。
Or a different time.
-Penny：Uh,6:30 is great.
-Leonard：Really Great.
-Penny： Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys.
-Leonard：Us guys
6点半可以啊。
真的 太好了。
我喜欢跟你们一起玩。
我们
-Penny：Yeah, you know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj，who all's 对，Sheldon 、Howard、 Raj 他们都一起吧
coming
-Leonard：They... Might all be there
Or a subset of them might be there.
Algebraically speaking, there are too many unknowns.
For example, Sheldon had Quiznos for lunch.
他们...可能都会去吧。
或者他们中的有些人可能去。
从代数角度看，太多未知数了。
比如Sheldon中午吃了Quizno三明治，
Sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't. 有时他吃到那种馅，有时候没有，
It's no fault of Quiznos- they have a varied menu.
-Penny：Okay, whatever. It sounds like fun.
-Leonard：Great. Did we say a time
-Penny：6:30
-Leonard：And that's still good for you
这不是店家的错，他们的菜单很丰盛。
好吧，无所谓啦，听起来挺有意思的。
很好，我们约时间了吗
6点半。
你确定那时有空

-Penny：It's fine.
-Leonard：Cause it's not carved in stone
-Penny：No, 6:30’s great.
-Leonard：I'll get my chisel.
-Penny：Why
-Leonard：To... carve the... I'll see you at 6:30.
-Leonard：How do I look
-Sheldon：Could you be more specific
-Leonard：Can you tell I'm perspiring a little
-Sheldon：No.
对。
不是刻在石板上非得那时去哦。
6点半正好。
我去拿凿子。
为什么
去刻在石...6点半见。
我看起来如何
你能说具体一点吗
能看出来我在冒汗吗
不能。
The dark crescent shaped patterns under your arms conceal 你腋下深色的新月状图案将其隐藏的很好。
it nicely.
What time is your date
-Leonard：6:30
你几点约会
6点半。
-Sheldon：Perfect. That gives you two hours and 15 minutes 太好了，那你还有2小时15分，让那片稠密的人造纤维分子云
for that dense molecular cloud of ，aromas to dissipate. 消散。
-Leonard：Is it too much
-Sheldon：Not if you're a rugby team.
汗很多吗
如果你是橄榄球队员就不算多。
-Leonard：By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't 如果以后提到今晚的事，你没来参加的原因是，
join us
because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub 你在Quiznos吃鸡肉意面吃撑了。
at Quiznos.
-Sheldon：Why would I join you
-Leonard：No reason.
Oh, you know what, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
我为什么要去参加
不为什么。
你知道吗，也许这样做不好。
-Sheldon：Oh, no, well, now there's always the possibility 不，酒精加上她一时糊涂，
that alcohol and poor judgment
on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening. 总有可能让今晚成为浪漫之夜。
-Leonard：You're right. Alcohol, poor judgment- - it could 你说的对，酒、糊涂，今晚有可能会顺利的。
go well.
-Sheldon：Of course there is the other possibility, 当然还有另一种可能性，
that this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months 之后的6个月都会很难捱，俩人在走廊里尴尬的擦身而过，
of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall,
until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code. 直到其中一人崩溃并搬到别的州去。
-Leonard：You could've stopped at it could go well.
-Sheldon：If I could've, I would've.
-Leonard：I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy.
你说到可能会顺利就可以闭嘴了。
如果我能的话我会的。
我是绝种好男人。
There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant, and 没理由我们不能，在餐厅吃好顿晚餐，
have a lovely dinner,
maybe afterwards, talk about things we have in common.
You love pottery I love pottery!
There's a pause, we both know what's happening.
I lean in, we kiss.
饭后散散步，聊些共同话题。
你喜欢陶艺 我超爱陶艺的!
然后暂停一下，我们都知道接下来要发生什么。
我倾身向前，我俩接吻。
It's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's 开始时还有点犹豫，然后她开始回吻我。
kissing me back.
She's biting my lower lip! She wants me! 她在咬我的下唇! 她想要我!
This thing is going the distance! We're going to have sex! 这事能成!我们会做爱!
Oh, god, oh, my god!
-Sheldon：Is the sex starting now
-Leonard：I'm having a panic attack.
-Sheldon：Oh, okay. Uh, well then... calm down.
天，上帝啊!
现在开始做爱了
我恐慌症发作了。
好吧，冷静点。

-Leonard：If I could calm down, I won’t be having a panic 如果我能冷静就不会恐慌了! 不然这怎么叫做恐慌症发作!
attack that's why they call it a panic attack.
-Sheldon：All right, all right. Uh, s- s- sit down.
Yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes.
-Leonard：Why
-Sheldon：Just do it.
-Leonard：Okay.
好好，你坐下。
坐下，闭上眼。
为什么
照做吧!
好。
-Sheldon：Now try to increase your alpha wave activity. 试着增加你α波的活性 (α波是脑电图中最着名的一种波在正
常成年人闭眼放松时产生)
-Leonard：What!
-Sheldon：It's a biofeedback technique.
It's relaxation through brain wave manipulation.
什么 !
这是机能反馈疗法。
通过控制脑电波来放松。
I read a paper about it in journal of American 我在美国神经科学月刊上看到一篇关于它的论文。
neuroscience.
It was a little sparsely sourced, but I think the basic 它的理论来源不完备，但是我认为基本原理正确。
science is valid.
I probably have it here somewhere. 我可能把它放在这了。
-Leonard：Who am I kidding I can't go through with this. 我没法赴这个约会。
You need to call her and cancel.
-Sheldon：Me
-Leonard：Yes.
-Sheldon：What should I tell her
-Leonard：I don't know.
Tell her I'm sick.
-Sheldon：Ok
你给她打电话取消吧。
我
对
我要跟她说什么
我不知道。
跟她说我病了。
好。
-Leonard：Not the kind of illness that will make her want 别说那种会让她想来照顾我的病，
to come over and take care of me,
but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable 也不要严重得让她以后不愿跟我约会的病，
going out with me in the future.
if I want to try this again.
-Sheldon：Got it.
So I'm assuming nothing venereal
如果我以后还想尝试的话。
了解。
那不能说花柳病啦
I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and 就跟她说你做了例行肠镜检查还没恢复吧。
haven't quite bounced back.
-Leonard：Give me the phone.
-Sheldon：I thought you wanted to cancel.
给我电话。
你不是想取消约会吗
-Leonard：I can't, because if I don't show up she'll still 不行，如果我不出现，她还是会认为你会去的。
be expecting you.
-Sheldon：Why would she be expecting me 为什么她认为我会去
-Leonard：Stop asking me all these questions. I need to 别问了，我要再去洗个澡。
take another shower.
-Penny: So are the rest of the guys meeting us here
-Leonard：Oh, yeah... no.
其他的人直接来这找我们
对...不对。
It turns out that Raj and Howard had to work and Sheldon... Raj跟Howard要工作，Sheldon...
had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet. 做了肠镜，还没恢复过来。
-Penny: Oh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy. 我叔叔也做了肠镜。
-Leonard：You're kidding. Then that's something we have 这就是我们俩的共同之处了。
in common.
-Penny: How
-Leonard：We both have people in our lives who...
want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.
怎么说
我们都认识...
想将肠道息肉扼杀于摇篮当中的人。

-Penny: so what's new in the world of physics
-Leonard：Nothing.
-Penny: Really Nothing
物理界有啥新闻不
没有。
真的 一点都没有
-Leonard：Well, with the exception of string theory, not 除了弦理论，自1930年后就没什么发现了。
much has happened since the 1930s.
And you can't prove string theory.
At best you can say,
而弦理论也尚未证明。
最多就能说，
look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.” 嘿，我的理论内部逻辑很连贯。
-Penny: Ah. Well, I'm sure things will pick up.
-Leonard：What's new at the cheesecake factory
-Penny: Oh, uh, not much.
啊，我相信情况会好转的。
芝士蛋糕工厂那边有什么新消息
没有什么。
We do have a chocolate key lime that's moving pretty well. 有个巧克力柠檬派卖得很好。
-Leonard：Good. Good.
What about your, uh... hallway friend
-Penny: Doug Oh, yeah, I don't know.
I mean, you know, he's nice and funny, but...
-Waitress: can I get you started with some drinks
-Leonard: No, easy. You were saying But...
-Penny: I'd like a drink.
很好。
那你那个...过道上的朋友怎样
Doug 我不知道。
他人挺好也很风趣，但是...
准备开始点饮品了吗
不!你刚刚说到 但是...
我想喝点东西
-Leonard: Just say the thing about Doug and then I'll 先说完关于Doug的但是我会把她叫回来。
get her back.
-Penny: Okay, well, I don't know, it's just me. 我不知道，是我的问题。
I'm still getting over this breakup with Kurt and this 我还没从跟Kurt的分手中完全恢复，跟Doug在一起是为了复
thing with Doug would start be rebound sex.
-Leonard: Oh, don't get me started on rebound sex…
-Penny: It's just... it's my pattern.
健性爱。
噢，提起复健性爱啊...
我总是这样。
I break up, then I find some cute guy, and then it's just 分手后找个帅哥，然后就是36小时毫无意义的... 你知道。
36 meaningless hours of... you know.
-Leonard: I'm not sure that I do is that one 36-hour 我不确定我知道连续36个小时，
experience,
or is that 36 hours spread out over, say... one glorious 还是一个辉煌夏季中...分散的36个小时
summer
-Penny: No, it's usually over a weekend, and trust me, you 不，大概是一个周末吧。相信我，那之后感觉很不好。
do not feel good after it.
-Leonard: Well, chafing, right
-Penny: Emotionally.
-Leonard: Of course, yeah, emotional chafing.
Hey, do you want to see something cool
呃，皮肤疼痛是吧
心情不好。
没错，心里疼痛。
你想看些有趣的玩意吗
I can make this olive go into this glass without touching 我不用手碰就能把这颗橄榄弄进杯子里。
it.
-Penny: How
-Leonard: Physics.
-Penny: Wow, centrifugal force.
怎么弄啊
物理原理。
哇，离心力。
-Leonard: Actually, it's centripetal force, which is an 实际上是向心力,玻璃对橄榄作用产生的内向力。
inward force generated by the glass acting on the olive...
Excuse me. 抱歉。
If you were riding on the olive, you'd be in a non inertial 如果你坐在那颗橄榄上，你就是一个非惯性参照系，并会...
reference frame and would...
-Penny: are you okay
-Leonard: Yeah, I'm okay.
Did you spill ketchup
你没事吧
没事。
你打翻花生酱了吗

-Penny: No.
-Leonard: I'm not okay.
没。
那有事了。
-Penny: Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency 你确定不用去急诊室
room
-Leonard: No, no, I'm okay. It stopped bleeding. 我没事，不流血了。
-Penny: I know, but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign 但你吐了啊，那不是脑震荡的症状吗
of a concussion
-Leonard: Yes. But I get car sick, too, so...
-Penny: okay.
-Leonard: Sorry about your car, by the way.
对，但我也晕车，所以...
好吧。
还有，抱歉弄脏你的车。
-Penny: Oh, no, it's fine. You got most of it out the 没关系，大部分你都吐车外了。
window.
-Leonard: The poor guy on the bike.
Well, I had a nice time.
-Penny: Yeah, me, too.
Well, um, good night.
-Leonard: Good night.
-Penny: Leonard Ah Was this supposed to be a date
-Leonard: This No. No, of course not.
那个骑自行车的可怜人。
我今晚过得很愉快。
我也是。
那晚安啦。
晚安
Leonard 啊 今晚这是约会吗
今晚 不是，当然不是。
This was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys 只是你跟我还有一帮
who didn't show up 'cause of work and a colonoscopy.
-Penny: Okay, I was just checking.
-Leonard: When I take a girl on a date- - and I do- -
she knows she's been dated.
Capital D.
Boldface. Underlined. Da... ted.
因工作和肠镜而没有出现的人的聚会。
好，我只是问问。
如果我跟女孩约会，我确实跟女孩约会，
那个女孩会知道她是在约会的。
大写D，
粗体黑字，下划线 (在强调会让对方意识到是约会= =)约会。
I think I might have a little concussion. I'm going to go 我可能脑震荡了，我去躺躺。
lie down.
Good night.
-Sheldon：So, how was your date
-Leonard：Awesome!
-Sheldon：Score one for liquor and poor judgment.
晚安。
约会如何
赞!
凭酒跟糊涂得一分。