《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版 (第一季第15集)
江西财政局-推普资料
《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版
第一季第15集
115 The One With the Stoned Guy
115 The One With the Stoned Guy
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey,
Ross, and Monica their
drinks.]
Rachel:
(to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey:
Thank you.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino.
(Hands it to him.)
Ross: Grazie.
Rachel:
And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to
her.)
Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices
something.) Uh Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Monica:
Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind
her ear, and finds a
cinamon stick.) I'm
sorry!
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's
coffee and Monica puts her cup
down in
disgust.)
Opening Credits
115 大麻客
咖啡 谢谢
卡布其诺
摩妮卡的热苹果酒
谢谢
瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上
有橡皮擦?
这就是原因，对不起
钱德
泰小姐，你今天真漂亮
我能说这件衣服真好看吗?
当然
制片：陶德史帝芬
科先生希望你在下班后
能到他办公室去
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is
typing data into his computer,
he keeps typing
even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand.
One of his co-workers walks by.]
Woman:
Chandler.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're
looking lovely today. And may I say,
that is a
very flattering sleeve length on you.
Mrs.
Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to
stop by his office
at the end of the day.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those
prank memos, I had nothing
to do with them.
Really. Nothing at all. Really. (Chandler tries to
hide a rubber chicken from the woman.)
Nothing.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is
there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in,
excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys!
Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this
incredible news, so when he gets here, we
could all act like, you
know...
(Chandler
comes in.)
Chandler: Hey!
All: Hey!
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be
really good.
Ross: What's going on?
All:
What is it?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day
at work. I'm inputting my numbers,
and big Al
calls me into his office and tells me he wants to
make me
processing supervisor.
All: That's
great!
Chandler: So.... I quit.
All: Why?
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp
job!
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been
there for five years.
Chandler: If I took this
promotion, it'd be like admitting that this
is
what I actually do.
Phoebe: So was it a lot
more money?
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I
just don't want to be one of those guys
that's
in his office until twelve o'clock at night
worrying about the
WENUS.
(Everyone looks
at him, confused.)
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems.
A processing term.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh.
That WENUS.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I
don't know what I want
to do. I just know I'm
not going to figure it out working there.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I
have this new massage
如果他是为搞笑备忘录
不是我干的，真的…
导演：亚伦梅尔森
各位，钱德说他有天大好的消息
所以他来的时候我们就…
算了
但一定是好消息
到底怎么了…
今天和平常没什么两样
我在输人数字时
艾尔叫我到他办公室
说他要我当电脑处理的主管
真是太好了 恭喜...
所以我就辞职不干了
为什么?
为什么?因为这只是暂时的工作
钱德，你已在公司五年了
我知道，但接受升职
不就承认这就是我的目的
这那不是能赚更多钱?
我不在乎
我不想成为坐在办公室到午夜
担心”WEENUS”的人
WEENUS?
”我们估计净值使用系统”
这是电脑处理的术语
那个啊
你有何打算?
我也不知道该怎么办
我只知道我不会再待在那儿工作了
我有一份你可以做的工作
我的新按摩客户史蒂芬
他开了一家餐厅
他正在寻找总厨师
你好...
我知道你是个厨师
而且我先想到你
但钱德目前没有工作所以...
我没有太多厨师的经验
除非那是一家只卖土司的餐厅
他想要什么菜色?
他想要菜色丰富多变
因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人
天啊
client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's
opening up a restaurant and he's
looking for a
head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her
shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns
back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no,
I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought
of you first, but um,
Chandler's the one who
needs a job right now, so....
Chandler:
Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing
experience.
Unless it's an all-toast
restaurant.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping)
Yeah, yeah!
Monica: Well, what kind of food
is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to
do some ecclectic, so he's looking for
someone
who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: (excited) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah,
I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't
really see myself in a big
white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks
in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Can you see my
nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No. But
don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see
Dr. Robert Pillman,
career counselor a-gogo.
(pause) I added the
Rachel: Career counselor?
Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want
to do.
Rachel: I don't!
Chandler: Hey, you
guys in the living room all know what you want to
do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams.
I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-
known
(Monica enters, excited.)
Monica:
Oh, I love my life, I love my life!
Phoebe:
Ooh!
Brian's Song
!
Rachel: The meeting
with the guy went great?
Monica: So great! He
showed me where the restaurant's going to be.
It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th
Street. Not too big,
not too small. Just
right.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a
blonde woman and some bears?
Monica: So
anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night.
You know,
kind of like an audition. And
Phoebe, he really wants you to be here,
which
will be great for me because then you can 'ooh'
and 'ahh' and
make yummy noises.
Rachel:
What are you going to make?
Phoebe: (as though
Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going
to make?
对，我知道
意下如何？
谢了
我大概没资格戴白色大帽吧
好吧
摩妮卡，你猜怎么着?
你能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗?
看不见，但别担心，它们还在
你要上哪儿去
西装笔挺先生?
我和求职顾问
阿哥哥罗伯提曼博士有约
阿哥哥是我加的
求职顾问?
你们都已找到人生的方向
还没
在客厅里的各位
全都知道未来该怎么走
你们有目标有梦想
但我却没有梦想
少见的”我没有梦想”演说
我爱我的人生…
布莱恩的歌
见面的结果如何?
相当顺利
他告诉我未来餐厅的位置
就在第十街不太大也不太小，大小适中
前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗?
总之周一
我们要煮一餐让他品尝
有点像是面试
菲此，他也要你在场
这样对我有利
因为你可以发出好吃的赞叹声
你做什么?
发出好吃的声音
摩妮卡，你要做什么菜?
我也不知道但一定会很棒的
我知道你可以做什么了
你可以做…我也不知道
各位，谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点?
东尼餐厅如何?
吃下32盎斯的牛排就免费
谁知道和美洲豹约会
Monica:
I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be
so great!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could
make! (runs over to join Monica
and Rachel in
the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely
make that
thing... you know, with the stuff?
(Monica doesn't know.) You know,
that thing...
with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date
place in the
neighborhood?
Joey: How about
Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's
free.
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a
good place if you're not
dating a puma?
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Rachel:
(trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you,
Ross.
Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug
lady. She's curator of insects
at the museum.
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to
dinner, and then maybe
bring her back to my
place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking
metaphorically.
Joey: (aside to Ross) So....
back to your place...you thinking,
maybe...
(gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-
huh.... but I'm hoping
(gestures) huh-huh.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick
magnet! She's going to
take one look at his
furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging
from Celia's hair, and
she is screaming,
trying to get him off.]
Ross: Celia, don't
worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you!
Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones!
Marcel...
Celia: I can't stand this! He's got
his claws in my...
Ross: Alright... (lifts
Marcel away)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's,
everyone is there but Ross and Chandler.
Monica is making food, and having everyone try
it.]
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon
mousse.
Joey: (tasting) Mmmm. Good.
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon
mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah,
well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know.
We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just
happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His
clothes are askew, he
looks beat.)
Rachel:
My God! What happened to you?
Chandler: Eight
and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence
哪儿是好地点?
你要和谁约会?
是昆虫女?
我爱你，罗斯
她叫希莉亚，不是昆虫女
她是昆虫博物馆的主任
你们打算如何共渡?
出去吃晚餐
后带她回我的住处
介绍我的猴子给她认识
他没用暗示
回你的住处?你想
我不知道…
我希望…
告诉你，那猴子是魅力十足
她看见它那毛绒绒可爱的小脸
然后一切就搞定
希莉亚，别担心，别叫
它不会伤害你的用安抚的语调
抱歉…它不会伤害你的
来…要来一些吗?
我受不了了
它的爪子....
乖..
试试这鲑鱼慕斯
好吃
比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃?
更滑更柔
是吗?更好?
我不知道我们在谈一条搅成泡沫的鱼
我能不吐出来就已经不错了
天啊，你怎么了?
8个半小时的性向测验
智力测验，个性测验
我了解什么?
你适合在大型跨国公司
资料处理部门方面发展
这太好了
因为你已知道该如何做
你们能相信吗?
我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗?
我总是想像自己能做点不同的
钱德，我知道
你可以透过你的衬衫
tests, personality tests... and what do
I learn? (he taps the results
and reads them)
are ideally suited for a career in data processing
for a large multinational
corporation.
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause
you already know how to do that!
Chandler: Can
you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody
who
should be doing something really cool? You
know, I just always
pictured myself doing
something...something.
Rachel: (comes up and
rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I
know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples
through this shirt!
Monica: (brings a plate of
tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe
this'll cheer you up.
Chandler: Ooh, you
know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd
better split this with you.
Monica: It's
supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer.
The
French call it an
amouz-bouche.
Chandler: (tastes it) Well.... it is amouz-
ing...
(Phone rings. Monica answers it.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi
Wendy! (Listens) Yeah,
eight o'clock.
(Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?...
(Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll
see you then. Bye.
(hangs up)
Phoebe: Ten
dollars an hour for what?
Monica: Oh, I asked
one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me
out.
Rachel: (hurt) Waitressing?
Joey:
Uh-oh.
Monica: Well... of course I thought of
you! But... but...
Rachel: But, but?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night
has to go just perfect,
you know? And, well,
Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been
maintaining my amateur status
so that I can
waitress in the Olympics.
Chandler: You know,
I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at
Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence)
Amouz-
bouche
? (holds out tray)
[Scene: Ross'
apartment,
Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon
(the original,
not that cruddy Urge
Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are
kissing passionately.]
Celia: Talk to me.
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me
on the train this
morning...
Celia: No no
no. Talk... dirty.
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha...
what, here?
Celia: Yes...
Ross: Ah....
看自己的乳头
来，这个或许能让你开心点
5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄
所以我最好该和你平分
它本来就应该那么叫
这是前开胃菜
法国人称它为”阿姆兹布许”
这简直是太神奇了
温蒂，对，八点
我们不是说过吗?每小时十块
很好，再见了
什么每小时十块?
我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙
服务生?
当然我考虑过你
但...
但是…
但是什么?
但是这一次绝对不能出错
温蒂的经验丰富
她是个职业的服务生
我懂了
我应该继续保持业余的姿态
将来才能在奥运会上当服务生
我不想自吹自擂
但我在76年的因斯布鲁克当过服务生
阿姆兹布许
对我说话
早上我坐地铁时
发生了一件诡异的事
不…说狠亵的话
这里？
对
快，说点火辣的
什么?
什么?
外阴
外阴?
我当时好害怕
她吓了我一跳
但并未完全...
我们以爱抚收场
爱抚?几次?
闭嘴，那种感觉好好
Celia: Say
something..... hot.
Ross: (panicked) Er....
um.....
Celia: What?
Ross: Um... uh....
vulva.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Chandler
and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing
what
happened last night.]
Joey: (in
disbelief) Vulva?
Ross: Alright, I panicked,
alright? She took me by surprise. You know,
but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended
up cuddling.
Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You
cuddled? How many times??
Ross: Shut up! It
was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the
dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Joey:
What's the big deal? You just say what you want to
do to her.
Or what you want her to do to you.
Or what you think other people might
be doing
to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try
something on me.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be
kidding.
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just
close your eyes and tell me what
you'd like to
be doing right now.
Ross: OK. (closes eyes)
I'm in my apartment...
Joey: ....yeah... what
else?
Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment,
you're not there, we're not
having this
conversation. (gets up, walks across room)
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright,
look, I'll start, OK?
Ross: Joey, please.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look!
(in a low voice) Oh...
Ross.... you get me so
hot. I want your lips on me now.
Ross:
(impressed) Wow.
Joey: Alright, now you say
something.
Ross: I... ahem... I really don't
think so.
Joey: Come on! You like this woman,
right?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: You want to see
her again, right?
Ross: Sure.
Joey: Well
if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to
talk
dirty to her? Now tell me you want to
caress my butt!
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey
looks taken aback) I just don't want you
staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey:
(turning around) Alright, alright. I'm around. Go
ahead.
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want
to... feel your... hot, soft skin
with my
lips.
Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep
going!
Ross: I, er...
(At this point,
Chandler walks into the living room from his
bedroom.
我不是那种讲狠亵话的人
有什么了不起
你只要说出你想对她如何
或是你想她对你如何
或是别人想对彼此如何
这样吧，对我说吧
开什么玩笑
有何不可，快
只要闭上眼睛告诉我
现在你想干什么
好吧…我在我的住处
然后呢？
就这样
我在我的住处而你不在
好吧，讲我来
拜托准备好没?听着
罗斯你让我欲火焚身
我要你舔我
该你了
我看还是算了吧
快嘛，你喜欢她吧?
喜欢
想再见到她吗?
当然
如果你无法对我说出狠亵的话
你如何对她说呢?
说你想爱抚我的屁股
好吧，转过去
我不想你盯着我看
好吧，我不看，说吧
我要...
用我的双唇感觉你那光滑的皮肤
这就对了，继绩
我要用我的舌头…
快说啊
快说
舔遍你的全身直到你颤抖…
然后呢？
真好笑
你不会相信的没关系，我一向赞成你们交
往
钱德
你睡觉时老东家又打电话来
又打来?
Ross and Joey
both have their backs to him, so they don't
notice.
Chandler sees the situation and
remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: I want to take
my tongue... and...
(Chandler is completely
astounded.)
Ross: ....and....
Joey: Say
it... say it!
Ross: ...run it all over your
body until you're... trembling with...
with...
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross
and Joey hear him. Ross
and Joey both notice
at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very
slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at
them.)
Chandler: (smiling)....with??
Ross:
(rushing to explain) Funny story!
Joey: You're
not going to believe this!
Chandler: It's OK.
It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to
get together.
Joey: Hey Chandler, while
you were sleeping that guy from your old
job
called again.
Chandler: Again?
Joey: And
again, and again, and again... (phone rings, he
answers)
Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And
again.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic!
How's life on the fifteenth
floor? (Listens)
Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot
less
satisfying to steal pens from your own
home, you know? (Listens) Well,
that's very
generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about
the
money. I need something that's more than a
job. I need something I
can really care
about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the
yearly
bonus structure you mentioned earlier?
(Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm
not playing
hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this
is a
rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop
saying numbers! I'm telling you,
you've got
the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens)
I'll
see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is
showing Phoebe around.]
Chandler: Well?
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much
bigger than the
cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain
to a view of New York
City)
Phoebe: Oh!
You have a window!
Chandler: Yes indeedy!
(they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Chandler: (walks away from window) OK, that's
enough of the view.
Check this out, look at
this. Sit down, sit down.
Phoebe: (sitting)
OK.
一直打...
又打来了
又是他
科先生，15楼的情况如何?
我也想念你
对，偷家里的笔比较不刺激
你真慷慨，但这不是钱的问题
我需要的不只是一份工作
我要的是我真正想要的
这是你稍早提过的年终红利之外的津贴?
你的梦想…
艾尔，我不故意为难你
这不是交涉，这叫拒绝
不，别再讲数字了
告诉你，你看错人了
星期一见
好大
比小格间大多了
这才像话
看
你有窗户
没错，还有美丽的风…
看，有人在小便
风景看够了
看这个
坐下
这个最酷，准备好没?
好了
海伦，能进来一下吗?
谢谢你，海伦，没事了
最后一次了，我保证
温蒂，你答应过我
温蒂…
谁啊
温蒂丢下我不管
我没服务生了
真是太糟糕了
再见
一小时十元
不干
小时十二元
我希望可以
但我已经计划好去走走
瑞秋
Chandler: This is
great! (he presses a button on his intercom)
Helen,
could you come in here for a moment?
(An unamused woman walks into the office.)
Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.
(She leaves, obviously perturbed.)
Chandler: Last time I do that, I promise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the
phone. Rachel walks in
and overhears the
conversation.]
Monica: (shouting on phone)
Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you
promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Rachel: Who was that?
Monica: Wendy
bailed. I have no waitress.
Rachel: Oh...
that's too bad. Bye bye. (she walks away towards
the
door)
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Twelve dollars an
hour.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've
made plans to walk around.
Monica: You know,
Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was
there
for you. I put a roof over your head,
and if that means nothing to
you... (Rachel
isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an
hour.
Rachel: Done.
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is
cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve
(
Crystal Duck
winner Jon Lovitz).]
Rachel: Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I
take your coat?
Monica: Hi Steve!
Steve:
Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
Steve:
(unconcerned) Yeah, OK.
Phoebe:
(overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so
delicious!
You know, I can't remember a time I
smelt such a delicious combination
of (Monica
signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
Steve:
It's a lovely apartment.
Monica: Oh, thank
you. Would you like a tour?
Steve: I was just
being polite, but, alright.
(They leave on
the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe
stops
her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: What's up?
Phoebe: (whispers) In
the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a
doobie.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Smoked a
joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Rachel: OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK.
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in
here? (licks his lips)
你逃婚之后我一直关心你
我让你有地方住
如果这样对你仍毫无意义…
一小时二十元
成交
欢迎光临，我能拿你的外套吗?
史帝头
摩妮卡，招待小姐
她叫瑞秋
味道好香
我早已忘记这种…香味
这房子真漂亮
谢谢，想参观一下吗?
我只是客套一下
但,好吧
怎么了?
他坐计程车来时燃了一根草
什么?
抽了一根大麻…
好了，我懂
我知道了
这里很干燥吗?
我来为你倒杯酒
我们可以上第一道菜了
这些是石虾小方饺
芫萎调味酱加上一点点…
碎姜
打我屁股叫我芙蒂
真是太好吃了
我真高兴你喜欢
喜欢?我可以吃下上百个
只有这一些
但再过8分半钟
我们就会献上美味的洋葱馅饼
馅饼...
文字都已失去意义
请问需要任何帮忙吗?
我也不知道自己在找什么
酷，墨西哥馅饼
这个就像是玉米卷
你不该影响食欲
糖欧
再等6分钟半
干酪通心面
Rachel: Let me, let me get
you some wine!
Monica: Yeah, I think we're
ready for our first course. (Steve sits,
Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are
rot-shrimp ravioli, and
celantro pondou
sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one,
quickly)... with just a touch of mints...
and... (he finishes)...
ginger.
Steve:
Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are
fantastic!
Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of
them!
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there
are of these. But in about
eight and a half
minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion
tartlets.
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets.
Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning.
(he
gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Rachel:
Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Steve: You know, I don't know what I'm looking
for.
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention
to tell her Steve is stoned.
She pretends to
drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving
her
the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it
again, inhaling deeply this time.
Monica waves
it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells!
(Rachel motions,
see!
Monica: (joining him
and taking the taco shells) You know that? You
don't want to spoil your appetite.
Steve:
(looking in cabinets) Hey! Sugar-O's! (grabs the
cereal box)
Monica: You know, if you just wait
another... six and a half minutes...
Steve:
Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!
Monica: No, we don't. (reaches for box)
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor)
Oh, sorry. (When she
bends down to pick it up
he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the
cabinet.)
Monica: Why don't you just have
a seat here? (he sits at the table,
then tries
to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots
him.) OK...
give me the Gummi-bears.
Steve: (childishly) No.
Monica: Give them
to me.
Steve: Alright, we'll share.
Monica: No, give me the...
Steve: Well
then you can't have any. (she grabs for the
package, and
it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly
everywhere, some into the punch bowl
on the
table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he
throws some
Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey
fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save
yourself!
(Mimicking the bears)
Monica: (furious) That's
it! Dinner is over!
我们一定要做这个
不，我们不做
抱歉
我们何不坐这儿
小熊软糖给我
不
给我
好吧，分你一半
不
小熊给我
你不能抢走
不，给我
不
小熊落水了，他们快淹死了
抓住糖欧逃命啊
救命啊....我淹水了
我受够了，晚餐结束
什么？什么？
为什么?为什么?
这机会我已等了七年
而你却等不了四分半钟之后
再吃洋葱馅饼
真是个王八蛋
你不会想为那种人工作的
我知道
我以为我的机会来了
你会成功的
你是个了不起的厨师
记得那些赞美的声音?
我不是装的
和希莉亚的状况如何?
我简直是太神了
干得好
我就像是詹姆斯密奇尼一样满口狠亵的
话
天下最具巧思的狠亵话
有人物，剧情，主题
其中一段的主角是村夫与村姑
然后呢?
狠亵话讲完后已经很晚了
而且我们也已精疲力竭所以…
你们爱抚？
那种感觉好好
你们想看晚场电影吗？
Steve: What?
Monica: What?
Steve: Why?
Monica: Why?
It's just that I've waited seven years for an
opportunity
like this, and you can't even wait
four and a half minutes for a stupid
onion
tartlet?
(The oven goes off.)
Steve:
(excited) Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, all are
there except Chandler.]
Joey: What a tool!
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like
that.
Ross: Yeah!
Monica: I know... it's
just... I thought this was, you know... it.
Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an
amazing chef.
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those
yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
(Ross gets up
and goes over to the counter and Joey follows
him.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go
with Celia?
Ross: Oh, I was unbelievable.
Joey: All right, Ross!
Ross: I was the
James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most
elaborate
filth you have ever heard. I mean,
there were characters, plot lines,
themes, a
motif... at one point there were villagers.
Joey: Whoa! And the... (gestures with hands)
huh-huh?
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the
time we'd finished with all the
dirty talk, it
was kinda late... and we were both kind of
exhausted,
so uh...
Joey: You cuddled.
Ross: Yeah, which was nice.
Phoebe: You
guys wanna try and catch a late movie or
something?
Rachel: Maybe, but shouldn't we
wait for Chandler?
Joey: Yeah, where the hell
is he?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he's on the
phone, agitated.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes,
Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking
at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens)
Oh, really, really,
really? Well, let me tell
you something... you will care about it,
because I care about it! You got it? Good!
(slams phone down, then
leans back and
realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Closing Credits
[Scene: Phoebe's massage
parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is
giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Steve: Eeeee!
Phoebe: Sorry. How about
over here? (presses down hard again)
Steve:
Aaaaah!
好
或许吧，但我们不是该等钱德？
他到底跑哪儿去了?
对，法兰，我知道现在几点
但我看着WENUS而且我相当不高兴
真的?告诉你吧
你会在乎的，因为我在乎
懂吗?很好
这样如何?
不好意思,这边那?
明白拉,这就说明有效果了.
痛不痛?
不痛.
这样呢?
Aaaaahhh!!
爽啦!
爽呆了!!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's
working. Does this hurt? (presses
down
elsewhere)
Steve: No.
Phoebe: What about
this? (she starts using her elbows on his back,
he yells in pain)
Steve: Aaaaahhh!!
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work
him over with her elbows
and he continues to
yell in pain.)
End
《老友记》中英文对照剧本精编版
第一季第15集
115 The One With the Stoned Guy
115 The One With the Stoned Guy
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey,
Ross, and Monica their
drinks.]
Rachel:
(to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Joey:
Thank you.
Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino.
(Hands it to him.)
Ross: Grazie.
Rachel:
And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to
her.)
Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices
something.) Uh Rach?
Rachel: Yeah?
Monica:
Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser?
Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind
her ear, and finds a
cinamon stick.) I'm
sorry!
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's
coffee and Monica puts her cup
down in
disgust.)
Opening Credits
115 大麻客
咖啡 谢谢
卡布其诺
摩妮卡的热苹果酒
谢谢
瑞秋为何我的肉桂棒上
有橡皮擦?
这就是原因，对不起
钱德
泰小姐，你今天真漂亮
我能说这件衣服真好看吗?
当然
制片：陶德史帝芬
科先生希望你在下班后
能到他办公室去
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is
typing data into his computer,
he keeps typing
even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand.
One of his co-workers walks by.]
Woman:
Chandler.
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're
looking lovely today. And may I say,
that is a
very flattering sleeve length on you.
Mrs.
Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to
stop by his office
at the end of the day.
Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those
prank memos, I had nothing
to do with them.
Really. Nothing at all. Really. (Chandler tries to
hide a rubber chicken from the woman.)
Nothing.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is
there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in,
excitedly.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys!
Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this
incredible news, so when he gets here, we
could all act like, you
know...
(Chandler
comes in.)
Chandler: Hey!
All: Hey!
Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be
really good.
Ross: What's going on?
All:
What is it?
Chandler: So, it's a typical day
at work. I'm inputting my numbers,
and big Al
calls me into his office and tells me he wants to
make me
processing supervisor.
All: That's
great!
Chandler: So.... I quit.
All: Why?
Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp
job!
Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been
there for five years.
Chandler: If I took this
promotion, it'd be like admitting that this
is
what I actually do.
Phoebe: So was it a lot
more money?
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I
just don't want to be one of those guys
that's
in his office until twelve o'clock at night
worrying about the
WENUS.
(Everyone looks
at him, confused.)
Rachel: ... the WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems.
A processing term.
Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh.
That WENUS.
Joey: So what're you going to do?
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I
don't know what I want
to do. I just know I'm
not going to figure it out working there.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I
have this new massage
如果他是为搞笑备忘录
不是我干的，真的…
导演：亚伦梅尔森
各位，钱德说他有天大好的消息
所以他来的时候我们就…
算了
但一定是好消息
到底怎么了…
今天和平常没什么两样
我在输人数字时
艾尔叫我到他办公室
说他要我当电脑处理的主管
真是太好了 恭喜...
所以我就辞职不干了
为什么?
为什么?因为这只是暂时的工作
钱德，你已在公司五年了
我知道，但接受升职
不就承认这就是我的目的
这那不是能赚更多钱?
我不在乎
我不想成为坐在办公室到午夜
担心”WEENUS”的人
WEENUS?
”我们估计净值使用系统”
这是电脑处理的术语
那个啊
你有何打算?
我也不知道该怎么办
我只知道我不会再待在那儿工作了
我有一份你可以做的工作
我的新按摩客户史蒂芬
他开了一家餐厅
他正在寻找总厨师
你好...
我知道你是个厨师
而且我先想到你
但钱德目前没有工作所以...
我没有太多厨师的经验
除非那是一家只卖土司的餐厅
他想要什么菜色?
他想要菜色丰富多变
因此他在找一个能创造出整个菜单的人
天啊
client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's
opening up a restaurant and he's
looking for a
head chef.
Monica: (taps Phoebe on her
shoulder) Um... hi there.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns
back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no,
I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought
of you first, but um,
Chandler's the one who
needs a job right now, so....
Chandler:
Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing
experience.
Unless it's an all-toast
restaurant.
Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping)
Yeah, yeah!
Monica: Well, what kind of food
is he looking for?
Phoebe: Well, he wants to
do some ecclectic, so he's looking for
someone
who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Monica: (excited) Oh my God!
Phoebe: Yeah,
I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't
really see myself in a big
white hat.
Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks
in, wearing a suit.]
Chandler: Can you see my
nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No. But
don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
Phoebe: Where are you going, Mr. Suity-Man?
Chandler: Well, I have an appointment to see
Dr. Robert Pillman,
career counselor a-gogo.
(pause) I added the
Rachel: Career counselor?
Chandler: Hey, you guys all know what you want
to do.
Rachel: I don't!
Chandler: Hey, you
guys in the living room all know what you want to
do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams.
I don't have a dream.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-
known
(Monica enters, excited.)
Monica:
Oh, I love my life, I love my life!
Phoebe:
Ooh!
Brian's Song
!
Rachel: The meeting
with the guy went great?
Monica: So great! He
showed me where the restaurant's going to be.
It's this, it's this cute little place on 10th
Street. Not too big,
not too small. Just
right.
Chandler: Was it formerly owned by a
blonde woman and some bears?
Monica: So
anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night.
You know,
kind of like an audition. And
Phoebe, he really wants you to be here,
which
will be great for me because then you can 'ooh'
and 'ahh' and
make yummy noises.
Rachel:
What are you going to make?
Phoebe: (as though
Rachel wasn't paying attention) Yummy noises.
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going
to make?
对，我知道
意下如何？
谢了
我大概没资格戴白色大帽吧
好吧
摩妮卡，你猜怎么着?
你能透过衬衫看见我的乳头吗?
看不见，但别担心，它们还在
你要上哪儿去
西装笔挺先生?
我和求职顾问
阿哥哥罗伯提曼博士有约
阿哥哥是我加的
求职顾问?
你们都已找到人生的方向
还没
在客厅里的各位
全都知道未来该怎么走
你们有目标有梦想
但我却没有梦想
少见的”我没有梦想”演说
我爱我的人生…
布莱恩的歌
见面的结果如何?
相当顺利
他告诉我未来餐厅的位置
就在第十街不太大也不太小，大小适中
前任老板是金发女人和几只熊吗?
总之周一
我们要煮一餐让他品尝
有点像是面试
菲此，他也要你在场
这样对我有利
因为你可以发出好吃的赞叹声
你做什么?
发出好吃的声音
摩妮卡，你要做什么菜?
我也不知道但一定会很棒的
我知道你可以做什么了
你可以做…我也不知道
各位，谁知道附近有约会的绝佳地点?
东尼餐厅如何?
吃下32盎斯的牛排就免费
谁知道和美洲豹约会
Monica:
I don't know. I don't know. It's just going to be
so great!
Phoebe: Ooh! I know what you could
make! (runs over to join Monica
and Rachel in
the kitchen) I know! Oh, you should definitely
make that
thing... you know, with the stuff?
(Monica doesn't know.) You know,
that thing...
with the stuff...? OK, I don't know. (sits down)
Ross: Hey guys, does anybody know a good date
place in the
neighborhood?
Joey: How about
Tony's? If you can finish a 32-ounce steak, it's
free.
Ross: OK, ahem, hey, does anybody know a
good place if you're not
dating a puma?
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Phoebe: Oh, is this the bug lady?
Rachel:
(trying to sound like a bug) Bzzzz.... I love you,
Ross.
Ross: Her name is Celia. She's not a bug
lady. She's curator of insects
at the museum.
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
Ross: Oh, I just thought we could go out to
dinner, and then maybe
bring her back to my
place and I'd introduce her to my monkey.
Chandler: And he's not speaking
metaphorically.
Joey: (aside to Ross) So....
back to your place...you thinking,
maybe...
(gestures with hands, back and forth) huh-huh?
Ross: Well, I don't know.... (gestures) huh-
huh.... but I'm hoping
(gestures) huh-huh.
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick
magnet! She's going to
take one look at his
furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging
from Celia's hair, and
she is screaming,
trying to get him off.]
Ross: Celia, don't
worry! Don't scream! He's not going to hurt you!
Soothing tones, Celia. Soothing tones!
Marcel...
Celia: I can't stand this! He's got
his claws in my...
Ross: Alright... (lifts
Marcel away)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's,
everyone is there but Ross and Chandler.
Monica is making food, and having everyone try
it.]
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon
mousse.
Joey: (tasting) Mmmm. Good.
Monica: Is it better than the other salmon
mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah,
well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know.
We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just
happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
(Chandler kicks the door closed, angrily. His
clothes are askew, he
looks beat.)
Rachel:
My God! What happened to you?
Chandler: Eight
and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence
哪儿是好地点?
你要和谁约会?
是昆虫女?
我爱你，罗斯
她叫希莉亚，不是昆虫女
她是昆虫博物馆的主任
你们打算如何共渡?
出去吃晚餐
后带她回我的住处
介绍我的猴子给她认识
他没用暗示
回你的住处?你想
我不知道…
我希望…
告诉你，那猴子是魅力十足
她看见它那毛绒绒可爱的小脸
然后一切就搞定
希莉亚，别担心，别叫
它不会伤害你的用安抚的语调
抱歉…它不会伤害你的
来…要来一些吗?
我受不了了
它的爪子....
乖..
试试这鲑鱼慕斯
好吃
比其他的鲑鱼慕斯好吃?
更滑更柔
是吗?更好?
我不知道我们在谈一条搅成泡沫的鱼
我能不吐出来就已经不错了
天啊，你怎么了?
8个半小时的性向测验
智力测验，个性测验
我了解什么?
你适合在大型跨国公司
资料处理部门方面发展
这太好了
因为你已知道该如何做
你们能相信吗?
我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗?
我总是想像自己能做点不同的
钱德，我知道
你可以透过你的衬衫
tests, personality tests... and what do
I learn? (he taps the results
and reads them)
are ideally suited for a career in data processing
for a large multinational
corporation.
Phoebe: That's so great! 'Cause
you already know how to do that!
Chandler: Can
you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody
who
should be doing something really cool? You
know, I just always
pictured myself doing
something...something.
Rachel: (comes up and
rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I
know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples
through this shirt!
Monica: (brings a plate of
tiny appetizers over) Here you go, maybe
this'll cheer you up.
Chandler: Ooh, you
know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd
better split this with you.
Monica: It's
supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer.
The
French call it an
amouz-bouche.
Chandler: (tastes it) Well.... it is amouz-
ing...
(Phone rings. Monica answers it.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh, hi
Wendy! (Listens) Yeah,
eight o'clock.
(Listens) What did we say? Ten dollars an hour?...
(Listens) OK, great. (Listens) All right, I'll
see you then. Bye.
(hangs up)
Phoebe: Ten
dollars an hour for what?
Monica: Oh, I asked
one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me
out.
Rachel: (hurt) Waitressing?
Joey:
Uh-oh.
Monica: Well... of course I thought of
you! But... but...
Rachel: But, but?
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night
has to go just perfect,
you know? And, well,
Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been
maintaining my amateur status
so that I can
waitress in the Olympics.
Chandler: You know,
I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at
Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence)
Amouz-
bouche
? (holds out tray)
[Scene: Ross'
apartment,
Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon
(the original,
not that cruddy Urge
Overkill version) is playing. Ross and Celia are
kissing passionately.]
Celia: Talk to me.
Ross: OK.... um, a weird thing happened to me
on the train this
morning...
Celia: No no
no. Talk... dirty.
Ross: (embarrassed) Wha...
what, here?
Celia: Yes...
Ross: Ah....
看自己的乳头
来，这个或许能让你开心点
5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄
所以我最好该和你平分
它本来就应该那么叫
这是前开胃菜
法国人称它为”阿姆兹布许”
这简直是太神奇了
温蒂，对，八点
我们不是说过吗?每小时十块
很好，再见了
什么每小时十块?
我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙
服务生?
当然我考虑过你
但...
但是…
但是什么?
但是这一次绝对不能出错
温蒂的经验丰富
她是个职业的服务生
我懂了
我应该继续保持业余的姿态
将来才能在奥运会上当服务生
我不想自吹自擂
但我在76年的因斯布鲁克当过服务生
阿姆兹布许
对我说话
早上我坐地铁时
发生了一件诡异的事
不…说狠亵的话
这里？
对
快，说点火辣的
什么?
什么?
外阴
外阴?
我当时好害怕
她吓了我一跳
但并未完全...
我们以爱抚收场
爱抚?几次?
闭嘴，那种感觉好好
Celia: Say
something..... hot.
Ross: (panicked) Er....
um.....
Celia: What?
Ross: Um... uh....
vulva.
Commercial Break
[Scene: Chandler
and Joey's, Joey and Ross are there, discussing
what
happened last night.]
Joey: (in
disbelief) Vulva?
Ross: Alright, I panicked,
alright? She took me by surprise. You know,
but it wasn't a total loss. I mean, we ended
up cuddling.
Joey: (sarcastic) Whoaa!! You
cuddled? How many times??
Ross: Shut up! It
was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the
dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Joey:
What's the big deal? You just say what you want to
do to her.
Or what you want her to do to you.
Or what you think other people might
be doing
to each other. I'll tell you what. Just try
something on me.
Ross: (deadpan) Please be
kidding.
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just
close your eyes and tell me what
you'd like to
be doing right now.
Ross: OK. (closes eyes)
I'm in my apartment...
Joey: ....yeah... what
else?
Ross: That's it. I'm in my apartment,
you're not there, we're not
having this
conversation. (gets up, walks across room)
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright,
look, I'll start, OK?
Ross: Joey, please.
Joey: Come on. Come on. Alright, ready, look!
(in a low voice) Oh...
Ross.... you get me so
hot. I want your lips on me now.
Ross:
(impressed) Wow.
Joey: Alright, now you say
something.
Ross: I... ahem... I really don't
think so.
Joey: Come on! You like this woman,
right?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: You want to see
her again, right?
Ross: Sure.
Joey: Well
if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to
talk
dirty to her? Now tell me you want to
caress my butt!
Ross: OK, turn around. (Joey
looks taken aback) I just don't want you
staring at me when I'm doing this.
Joey:
(turning around) Alright, alright. I'm around. Go
ahead.
Ross: Ahem... I want.... OK, I want
to... feel your... hot, soft skin
with my
lips.
Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep
going!
Ross: I, er...
(At this point,
Chandler walks into the living room from his
bedroom.
我不是那种讲狠亵话的人
有什么了不起
你只要说出你想对她如何
或是你想她对你如何
或是别人想对彼此如何
这样吧，对我说吧
开什么玩笑
有何不可，快
只要闭上眼睛告诉我
现在你想干什么
好吧…我在我的住处
然后呢？
就这样
我在我的住处而你不在
好吧，讲我来
拜托准备好没?听着
罗斯你让我欲火焚身
我要你舔我
该你了
我看还是算了吧
快嘛，你喜欢她吧?
喜欢
想再见到她吗?
当然
如果你无法对我说出狠亵的话
你如何对她说呢?
说你想爱抚我的屁股
好吧，转过去
我不想你盯着我看
好吧，我不看，说吧
我要...
用我的双唇感觉你那光滑的皮肤
这就对了，继绩
我要用我的舌头…
快说啊
快说
舔遍你的全身直到你颤抖…
然后呢？
真好笑
你不会相信的没关系，我一向赞成你们交
往
钱德
你睡觉时老东家又打电话来
又打来?
Ross and Joey
both have their backs to him, so they don't
notice.
Chandler sees the situation and
remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: I want to take
my tongue... and...
(Chandler is completely
astounded.)
Ross: ....and....
Joey: Say
it... say it!
Ross: ...run it all over your
body until you're... trembling with...
with...
(Chandler leans back against the wall and Ross
and Joey hear him. Ross
and Joey both notice
at the same time. They slowly stop, and then very
slowly turn around to see Chandler staring at
them.)
Chandler: (smiling)....with??
Ross:
(rushing to explain) Funny story!
Joey: You're
not going to believe this!
Chandler: It's OK.
It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to
get together.
Joey: Hey Chandler, while
you were sleeping that guy from your old
job
called again.
Chandler: Again?
Joey: And
again, and again, and again... (phone rings, he
answers)
Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And
again.
Chandler: (on phone) Hey Mr. Kostelic!
How's life on the fifteenth
floor? (Listens)
Yeah, I miss you too. (Listens) Yeah, it's a lot
less
satisfying to steal pens from your own
home, you know? (Listens) Well,
that's very
generous (Listens) er, but look, this isn't about
the
money. I need something that's more than a
job. I need something I
can really care
about.... (Listens) And that's on top of the
yearly
bonus structure you mentioned earlier?
(Listens) Look, Al, Al... I'm
not playing
hardball here, OK? This is not a negotiation, this
is a
rejection! (Listens) No! No! No, stop
saying numbers! I'm telling you,
you've got
the wrong guy! You've got the wrong guy! (Listens)
I'll
see you on Monday! (slams the phone down)
[Scene: Chandler's new window office, he is
showing Phoebe around.]
Chandler: Well?
Phoebe: (excited) Wow! It's huge! It's so much
bigger than the
cubicle. Oh, this is a cube.
Chandler: Look at this! (he opens the curtain
to a view of New York
City)
Phoebe: Oh!
You have a window!
Chandler: Yes indeedy!
(they look outside) With a beautiful view of...
Phoebe: Oh look! That guy's peeing!
Chandler: (walks away from window) OK, that's
enough of the view.
Check this out, look at
this. Sit down, sit down.
Phoebe: (sitting)
OK.
一直打...
又打来了
又是他
科先生，15楼的情况如何?
我也想念你
对，偷家里的笔比较不刺激
你真慷慨，但这不是钱的问题
我需要的不只是一份工作
我要的是我真正想要的
这是你稍早提过的年终红利之外的津贴?
你的梦想…
艾尔，我不故意为难你
这不是交涉，这叫拒绝
不，别再讲数字了
告诉你，你看错人了
星期一见
好大
比小格间大多了
这才像话
看
你有窗户
没错，还有美丽的风…
看，有人在小便
风景看够了
看这个
坐下
这个最酷，准备好没?
好了
海伦，能进来一下吗?
谢谢你，海伦，没事了
最后一次了，我保证
温蒂，你答应过我
温蒂…
谁啊
温蒂丢下我不管
我没服务生了
真是太糟糕了
再见
一小时十元
不干
小时十二元
我希望可以
但我已经计划好去走走
瑞秋
Chandler: This is
great! (he presses a button on his intercom)
Helen,
could you come in here for a moment?
(An unamused woman walks into the office.)
Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.
(She leaves, obviously perturbed.)
Chandler: Last time I do that, I promise.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the
phone. Rachel walks in
and overhears the
conversation.]
Monica: (shouting on phone)
Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you
promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Rachel: Who was that?
Monica: Wendy
bailed. I have no waitress.
Rachel: Oh...
that's too bad. Bye bye. (she walks away towards
the
door)
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Twelve dollars an
hour.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've
made plans to walk around.
Monica: You know,
Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was
there
for you. I put a roof over your head,
and if that means nothing to
you... (Rachel
isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an
hour.
Rachel: Done.
[Scene: Monica and
Rachel's, later. Rachel is waitressing, Monica is
cooking. Phoebe walks in with Steve
(
Crystal Duck
winner Jon Lovitz).]
Rachel: Well hello! Welcome to Monica's. May I
take your coat?
Monica: Hi Steve!
Steve:
Hello, Monica. (to Rachel) Hello, greeter girl.
Monica: (to Steve) This is Rachel.
Steve:
(unconcerned) Yeah, OK.
Phoebe:
(overemphasizing) Mmmmmm! Everything smells so
delicious!
You know, I can't remember a time I
smelt such a delicious combination
of (Monica
signals her to stop) of, OK, smells.
Steve:
It's a lovely apartment.
Monica: Oh, thank
you. Would you like a tour?
Steve: I was just
being polite, but, alright.
(They leave on
the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe
stops
her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Rachel: What's up?
Phoebe: (whispers) In
the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a
doobie.
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Smoked a
joint? You know, lit a bone? Weed? Hemp? Ganja?
Rachel: OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK.
Steve: (from the living room) Is it dry in
here? (licks his lips)
你逃婚之后我一直关心你
我让你有地方住
如果这样对你仍毫无意义…
一小时二十元
成交
欢迎光临，我能拿你的外套吗?
史帝头
摩妮卡，招待小姐
她叫瑞秋
味道好香
我早已忘记这种…香味
这房子真漂亮
谢谢，想参观一下吗?
我只是客套一下
但,好吧
怎么了?
他坐计程车来时燃了一根草
什么?
抽了一根大麻…
好了，我懂
我知道了
这里很干燥吗?
我来为你倒杯酒
我们可以上第一道菜了
这些是石虾小方饺
芫萎调味酱加上一点点…
碎姜
打我屁股叫我芙蒂
真是太好吃了
我真高兴你喜欢
喜欢?我可以吃下上百个
只有这一些
但再过8分半钟
我们就会献上美味的洋葱馅饼
馅饼...
文字都已失去意义
请问需要任何帮忙吗?
我也不知道自己在找什么
酷，墨西哥馅饼
这个就像是玉米卷
你不该影响食欲
糖欧
再等6分钟半
干酪通心面
Rachel: Let me, let me get
you some wine!
Monica: Yeah, I think we're
ready for our first course. (Steve sits,
Monica brings over a tray) OK, um, these are
rot-shrimp ravioli, and
celantro pondou
sauce... (Steve starts to eat them one by one,
quickly)... with just a touch of mints...
and... (he finishes)...
ginger.
Steve:
Well, smack my ass and call me Judy! These are
fantastic!
Monica: I'm so glad you liked them!
Steve: Like 'em? I could eat a hundred of
them!
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there
are of these. But in about
eight and a half
minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion
tartlets.
Steve: Tartlets. Tartlets.
Tartlets. The word has lost all meaning.
(he
gets up and goes into the kitchen)
Rachel:
Excuse me? Can I help you with anything?
Steve: You know, I don't know what I'm looking
for.
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention
to tell her Steve is stoned.
She pretends to
drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving
her
the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it
again, inhaling deeply this time.
Monica waves
it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells!
(Rachel motions,
see!
Monica: (joining him
and taking the taco shells) You know that? You
don't want to spoil your appetite.
Steve:
(looking in cabinets) Hey! Sugar-O's! (grabs the
cereal box)
Monica: You know, if you just wait
another... six and a half minutes...
Steve:
Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this!
Monica: No, we don't. (reaches for box)
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor)
Oh, sorry. (When she
bends down to pick it up
he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the
cabinet.)
Monica: Why don't you just have
a seat here? (he sits at the table,
then tries
to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots
him.) OK...
give me the Gummi-bears.
Steve: (childishly) No.
Monica: Give them
to me.
Steve: Alright, we'll share.
Monica: No, give me the...
Steve: Well
then you can't have any. (she grabs for the
package, and
it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly
everywhere, some into the punch bowl
on the
table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he
throws some
Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey
fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save
yourself!
(Mimicking the bears)
Monica: (furious) That's
it! Dinner is over!
我们一定要做这个
不，我们不做
抱歉
我们何不坐这儿
小熊软糖给我
不
给我
好吧，分你一半
不
小熊给我
你不能抢走
不，给我
不
小熊落水了，他们快淹死了
抓住糖欧逃命啊
救命啊....我淹水了
我受够了，晚餐结束
什么？什么？
为什么?为什么?
这机会我已等了七年
而你却等不了四分半钟之后
再吃洋葱馅饼
真是个王八蛋
你不会想为那种人工作的
我知道
我以为我的机会来了
你会成功的
你是个了不起的厨师
记得那些赞美的声音?
我不是装的
和希莉亚的状况如何?
我简直是太神了
干得好
我就像是詹姆斯密奇尼一样满口狠亵的
话
天下最具巧思的狠亵话
有人物，剧情，主题
其中一段的主角是村夫与村姑
然后呢?
狠亵话讲完后已经很晚了
而且我们也已精疲力竭所以…
你们爱抚？
那种感觉好好
你们想看晚场电影吗？
Steve: What?
Monica: What?
Steve: Why?
Monica: Why?
It's just that I've waited seven years for an
opportunity
like this, and you can't even wait
four and a half minutes for a stupid
onion
tartlet?
(The oven goes off.)
Steve:
(excited) Hey!
[Scene: Central Perk, all are
there except Chandler.]
Joey: What a tool!
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like
that.
Ross: Yeah!
Monica: I know... it's
just... I thought this was, you know... it.
Ross: Look, you'll get there. You're an
amazing chef.
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those
yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
(Ross gets up
and goes over to the counter and Joey follows
him.)
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go
with Celia?
Ross: Oh, I was unbelievable.
Joey: All right, Ross!
Ross: I was the
James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most
elaborate
filth you have ever heard. I mean,
there were characters, plot lines,
themes, a
motif... at one point there were villagers.
Joey: Whoa! And the... (gestures with hands)
huh-huh?
Ross: Well, ahem... you know, by the
time we'd finished with all the
dirty talk, it
was kinda late... and we were both kind of
exhausted,
so uh...
Joey: You cuddled.
Ross: Yeah, which was nice.
Phoebe: You
guys wanna try and catch a late movie or
something?
Rachel: Maybe, but shouldn't we
wait for Chandler?
Joey: Yeah, where the hell
is he?
[Scene: Chandler's office, he's on the
phone, agitated.]
Chandler: (on phone) Yes,
Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking
at the WENUS and I'm not happy!... (Listens)
Oh, really, really,
really? Well, let me tell
you something... you will care about it,
because I care about it! You got it? Good!
(slams phone down, then
leans back and
realizes what just happened) Whooooaaaa....
Closing Credits
[Scene: Phoebe's massage
parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is
giving him an extra-painful massage.]
Phoebe: How's this? (presses down hard)
Steve: Eeeee!
Phoebe: Sorry. How about
over here? (presses down hard again)
Steve:
Aaaaah!
好
或许吧，但我们不是该等钱德？
他到底跑哪儿去了?
对，法兰，我知道现在几点
但我看着WENUS而且我相当不高兴
真的?告诉你吧
你会在乎的，因为我在乎
懂吗?很好
这样如何?
不好意思,这边那?
明白拉,这就说明有效果了.
痛不痛?
不痛.
这样呢?
Aaaaahhh!!
爽啦!
爽呆了!!
Phoebe: See, that just means it's
working. Does this hurt? (presses
down
elsewhere)
Steve: No.
Phoebe: What about
this? (she starts using her elbows on his back,
he yells in pain)
Steve: Aaaaahhh!!
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work
him over with her elbows
and he continues to
yell in pain.)
End