生活大爆炸 第三季 03
沈阳化工学院科亚学院-国旗下演讲
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生活大爆炸 第三季第三集
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00:00:04,720
今晚我要出去 心情大好
I'm going out
tonight, I'm feelin' alright
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00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:08,800
我要好好爽一下
Gonna let it all hang out
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,840
放声歌唱 升三个八度
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
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00:00:13,010 --> 00:00:16,880
耶
我要大唱大叫
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
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00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,420
滴滴啦啦
De-de-de, de-de-de-de-de, uh
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00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:24,130
不 早安 谢尔顿
和我一起跳舞吧
No.. Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with
me.
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00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,370
不要
No.
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00:00:27,430 -->
00:00:29,940
干嘛不要
Why not?
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00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:32,440
佩妮 我支持多个世界理论
Penny, while I subscribe to
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这个理论表明
The
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--> 00:00:36,540
在无限个宇宙中存在着
Of an infinite
number of sheldons
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00:00:36,610
--> 00:00:38,210
无限个谢尔顿
In an infinite
number of universes,
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00:00:38,280
--> 00:00:41,630
我向你保证其中没一个我是在跳舞的
I assure
you that in none of them am I dancing.
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那这些你里有没有幽默一点的
Are you fun in any of them?
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根据推算
The math would suggest
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其中有几个我是糖娃娃
That in a few I'm a clown made of candy.
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00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,600
但是绝不跳舞
But I don't dance.
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行吧
来点法式吐司不
Alright, want some French toast?
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今天是燕麦粥日
It's oatmeal day.
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这样吧 下个法式吐司日
我给你煮燕麦粥
Tell you what, next French toast day,
I'll make you oatmeal.
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神啊
你还要在这赖到法式吐司日啊
Dear lord, are you still going
to be here on French toast day?
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早啊
Morning.
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00:01:11,560
莱纳德 你看啊
Look, Leonard,
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00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,500
佩妮烤了法式吐司
Penny made French toast.
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抱歉我还没给她你的用餐日程表
Sorry I haven't given her
your schedule yet.
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--> 00:01:17,530
那是个iCal[Apple电子日程表]下载啊
It's an iCal download.
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她可以直接下到手机里的
She can put it right in her phone.
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00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:20,990
而且我想咱们说好了的
And I thought we agreed
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00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,590
你们只在她那儿行房事
That you'd have your conjugal visits in her
apartment.
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00:01:23,670 -->
00:01:26,510
是说好了 但是现在是特殊情况
We did, but
there were extenuating circumstances.
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我明白了
I
see.
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00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,040
她浑身的傻气
Did her abysmal housekeeping skills
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00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,880
终于被她那盖世的家务活能力打压下去了是吗
Finally trump her
perkiness?
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00:01:32,220 -->
00:01:37,090
不 是她的床有点散架了
No, her bed kind
of... Broke.
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00:01:37,150 -->
00:01:39,420
这是不太可能的
That doesn't
seem likely.
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00:01:39,490 -->
00:01:41,740
她的床的构造很结实
Her bed's of sturdy
construction.
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00:01:42,630
就算多承重一个
Even the addition of
a second
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正常体型的人类也不会引致其床架松动的
Normal
size human being wouldn't cause a structural
failure,
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00:01:47,950
更别提像你这样的小雏形人了
Much less a
homunculus such as yourself.
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00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:50,620
小雏形人
A
homunculus?
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00:01:50,700 -->
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功能健全的迷你型人类
Perfectly formed
miniature human being.
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你这我的小宝贝雏形人
Oh, you're my little homunculus.
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别这样
Don't do that.
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抱歉 好啦
谁要普通糖浆谁要肉桂糖浆呀
Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and
who wants cinnamon sugar?
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00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,400
我要燕麦粥
I
want oatmeal.
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00:02:04,470 -->
00:02:05,570
行啊
Yes, well
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00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,280
我想要个室友不是大混蛋的男朋友
I want a boyfriend whose
roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.
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00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,080
这个愿望很快就能实现了
I'm sure that will happen soon
enough.
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00:02:11,770 -->
00:02:14,590
但我还是要燕麦粥
But in the meantime,
I still want oatmeal.
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00:02:15,160
--> 00:02:16,790
得了 我投降
You know what, I
give up.
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00:02:16,860 -->
00:02:17,990
怎么会有他这种人
He's impossible.
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怎么会没有 我就是存在的
I can't be impossible, I
exist.
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我相信你想说的是
I believe what you
meant to say is,
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我投降 这种人几乎是不存在的
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00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,890
谢尔顿 你真得换个方式
Sheldon, you really need to find a better way
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00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:34,140
和佩妮相处了
Of dealing with penny.
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00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,380
那我该怎么做
What am I supposed to do--
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00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,180
在礼拜一吃法式吐司吗
Eat french toast on a Monday?
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00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:39,880
这种情况才是不存在的
Now, that would be impossible.
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00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:42,570
我只是说
你想抓苍蝇的话得用蜂蜜
I'm just saying, you can catch
more flies with honey
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而不是醋
Than with vinegar.
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你用粪粪还能抓更多呢
You can catch even
more flies with manure.
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00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:47,260
你到底想说什么
What's your point?
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这个...
It's a...
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天 还挺香的呢
Boy, that does smell
good.
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00:02:57,150
太遗憾了 今儿就是礼拜一
Too bad it's
Monday.
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00:03:28,220
我们经理基姆去休产假了
Okay, Kim the
night manager went on maternity leave
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00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:29,940
她老公叫桑迪
And her husband's name is Sandy, right?
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00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,210
然后
So get this--
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00:03:31,280 -->
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顶她班的是一个叫桑迪的女人
Her
replacement is a woman named Sandy
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00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,870
而她老公叫基姆
Whose husband's name is Kim.
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-哇啊 -是啊
- Wow! - I know!
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--> 00:03:43,150
这什么概率哦
What are the odds?
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00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,210
很好算嘛
Easily calculable.
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00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,130
先找到几对双方都取中性名字的
We begin by identifying a
set of married couples
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00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:47,530
已婚夫妇
With unisex names.
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00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:48,910
然后剔除那些不适合
We then eliminate those unqualified
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从事餐饮工作的
For restaurant work--
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比如说年老的 坐牢的 残疾的
The aged, the
imprisoned and the limbless, for example,
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-再然后就
-谢尔顿
- Next we look at... - Sheldon--
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这是一个奇妙的巧合
It's an amazing coincidence.
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00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,640
就这样了行吗
Can we leave it at that?
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00:03:57,710 --> 00:04:00,840
对不起
I'm sorry.
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00:04:05,340
喔佩妮 你们奶酪蛋糕工厂就好像是巫婆们开的
Ooh,
Penny. It's as if the cheese-cake factory is run
by witches.
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00:04:08,450 -->
00:04:12,420
喔谢尔顿 别以为我不会揍你
Ooh, Sheldon,
it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.
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00:04:13,490 --> 00:04:15,860
行啦
你俩 别吵了
Come on, you guys, let it go.
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00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:17,040
哼
随便吧
Fine, whatever.
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你吃完了吗
Are you finished?
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00:04:19,580
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谢了
Well, thank you.
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多么体贴
How thoughtful.
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00:04:23,000
--> 00:04:24,910
你要吃巧克力吗
Would you like a
chocolate?
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00:04:25,000 -->
00:04:26,880
好啊
Um, yeah, sure.
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00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:31,590
多谢啦
Thanks.
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00:04:33,010 -->
00:04:35,940
这算什么
What was that?
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00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,730
你让我对佩妮好点的
You said be nice to Penny.
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我觉得给别人喂巧克力
I believe offering chocolate to
someone
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00:04:42,780
能够符合好的定义
Falls within the
definition of nice.
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00:04:42,850
--> 00:04:44,200
没错
It does.
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00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,870
但就我观察
你这人不符合
But in my experience, you don't.
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00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:50,490
何瑞修
宇宙间无奇不有
There are more things in heaven and
earth, Horatio,
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00:04:50,560 -->
00:04:52,480
不是你的哲学全能梦想得到的[<哈姆雷特>第一幕;第五景]
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy
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00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:54,230
这才是你嘛
Now that's you
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00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,450
讨厌而且让人难以忍受
Obnoxious and insufferable.
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00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,590
日居者们 你们好啊
What's going on, day dwellers?
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00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:10,540
KISS[美重金属乐队]粉丝团也废除了不许问不许说美军处理同性恋旧政策]吗
Oh,
man, did the kiss army repeal
107
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,750
不是
No.
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00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,910
我和拉杰要去好莱坞的哥特夜总会
Raj and I are going to a
goth club in Hollywood
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00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:16,950
和夜猫子一起玩儿
To hang with the night people.
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00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,350
有人想一起去吗
Anybody want to come along?
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00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,960
你真要这样上街吗
Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?
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00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,510
不不
No, no.
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00:05:23,590
--> 00:05:25,310
我要这样上街
I'm going out like
this...
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00:05:29,480
霍华德 你做了些什么
Howard, what did
you do?
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00:05:31,010
这叫纹身袖
They're called
tattoo sleeves.
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00:05:31,080 -->
00:05:32,130
看
Look.
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00:05:34,190 --> 00:05:35,440
我在网上买的
拉杰也买了一身
I go them online! Raj got a set, too..
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00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,820
帅死了 是吧
Fantastic, right?
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00:05:40,910 --> 00:05:43,030
穿上它 就能和前卫女孩
Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky
girl
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00:05:43,110 -->
00:05:45,030
发生韵事 脱下他
With her business
pierced, take them off,
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00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:47,610
我依旧是个恪礼守节的犹太人
I can still be buried in a
jewish cemetery.
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00:05:48,780 -->
00:05:50,120
知道吗
You know, I've always
wanted
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00:05:50,200 -->
00:05:51,320
我一直都想去哥特夜总会
To go to a goth
nightclub.
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00:05:51,370 -->
00:05:52,320
真的吗
Really?
125
00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:53,590
才怪呢
Bazinga!
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00:05:55,060 -->
00:05:59,160
没有人能察觉到我的玩笑 对吧
None of you
ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?
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00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,090
你们俩去吗
Okay, how about you two?
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00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,710
我还带了几个纹身袖
Look, I've got some extra tatoo
sleeves.
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00:06:03,800 -->
00:06:05,830
你带那么多干什么
Why are you carrying
extras?
130
00:06:05,900 -->
00:06:08,840
万一被哪个女人的乳环刮破了好有个替换呀
In case I
snag one on someone's nipple ring.
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00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,440
我们就不去了
Uh, yeah, I think we'll pass.
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00:06:11,510 --> 00:06:16,510
你现在就得妻管严了吗
Oh, is the missus speaking for the couple now?
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00:06:16,580 -->
00:06:19,610
这件事 肯定她说了算
In this case, you
bet she is.
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00:06:21,850 -->
00:06:24,400
是啊 她很强势 他受压迫
Yes, she's
pushy, and yes, he's whipped,
135
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,240
但是不能这么说
But that's not the expression.
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00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,160
快走
我要去沃尔格林药店
Come on, I want to stop at walgreens
137
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,030
再多买几支眼线笔
And pick up some more eyeliner.
138
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:41,200
他们在夜总会要被揍了
They're gonna get beaten up at
that club.
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00:06:41,270 -->
00:06:44,400
我看他们在药店就会被揍
They're gonna get
beaten up at walgreens.
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00:06:47,890 --> 00:06:48,980
抱歉 谢尔顿
Oh, sorry, Sheldon.
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00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,380
我差点坐在你的专座上
I almost sat in your spot.
142
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,230
是吗 我都没注意
Did you? I didn't notice.
143
00:06:53,310 --> 00:06:55,180
给你块巧克力吧
Have a chocolate.
144
00:06:56,220 --> 00:06:58,180
谢谢
Thank
you.
145
00:07:10,730 -->
00:07:15,000
我觉得我们很适合这里
I think we're
fitting quite nicely.
146
00:07:15,070 --> 00:07:18,070
要是你不喝低度啤酒就更好了
It did help if you weren't
drinking light beer.
147
00:07:18,120
--> 00:07:21,260
喝伏特加和蔓越莓果汁就显得比我更有哥特风格吗
What's so gothic about vodka and cranberry
juice?
148
00:07:21,340 -->
00:07:23,880
是啊 这看起来像在饮血
Hello? It looks
like blood.
149
00:07:23,930 -->
00:07:25,750
你没去看我发给你的
Did you even read
the
150
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,460
手把手学哥特风格的WikiHow链接吗
I sent you on being
goth?
151
00:07:27,550 -->
00:07:30,130
没 我自己的东西还看不玩呢
No, I'm behind
on my wiki-reading.
152
00:07:30,220
--> 00:07:32,940
我正在读约翰·格里沙姆[法律惊悚小说《掮客》作者]
I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now.
153
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,020
什么
What?
154
00:07:34,020 -->
00:07:36,050
我看完了《绝对机密》
I finished reading
The Pelican Brief
155
00:07:36,090
--> 00:07:38,530
我太喜欢了 已经完全身临其境了
And
loved it so much, I dived right into the client.
156
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,560
他本身就是个律师
He was a lawyer himself,
157
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:43,260
所以他的小说内容的准确性和娱乐性都很强
So his novels are
accurate as well as entertaining.
158
00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:49,070
要记住 我们是浪荡子
暗夜之子
Just remember we are lost boys, children
of the night.
159
00:07:49,120 -->
00:07:51,570
好的 浪荡子 暗夜之子
Great.
Lost boys, children of the night.
160
00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:52,790
明白了
Got
it.
161
00:07:52,870 --> 00:07:56,630
能帮忙把小吃递过来吗
Can you pass the chex mix
please?
162
00:07:57,910 -->
00:07:59,210
谢谢
Thank you.
163
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,180
我们是浪荡子
We are lost boys.
164
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,300
是吗
Good
for you.
165
00:08:08,390 -->
00:08:11,590
其实我比他更放浪
I'm actually much
more lost than he is.
166
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,730
纹身不错
Nice ink.
167
00:08:14,730 -->
00:08:16,650
谢谢
Thanks.
168
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,310
能请两位小姐喝点东西吗
Can we buy you ladies a
drink?
169
00:08:19,370 -->
00:08:20,750
两杯低度啤酒
Two light beers.
170
00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,600
低度啤酒吗 该把这个写进去
Light beers.
171
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,610
你们叫什么
What's your names?
172
00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:29,110
-我叫霍华德 拉杰
-我是贝萨妮
-I'm Howard. Raj. -I'm Bethany.
173
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,540
很高兴见到你 贝萨妮
Nice to meet you, Bethany.
174
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,710
很高兴
Yes, very nice.
175
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,210
我也是
Nice
to meet you, too.
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00:08:33,280
--> 00:08:35,080
我叫莎拉
I'm Sarah.
177
00:08:35,130 --> 00:08:36,920
反正也没人关心
Not that anyone cares.
178
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:44,010
两位小姐喜欢看约翰·格里沙姆的小说吗
Do either of you ladies
enjoy the novels of John Grisham?
179
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,450
这动画片叫什么来着
What's this cartoon called again?
180
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,170
恶魔武士
Oshikuru: Demon samurai.
181
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,820
恶魔武士不是动画片
Demon it's not a cartoon.
182
00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:03,130
是动漫
It'anime.
183
00:09:03,190 -->
00:09:04,440
动漫
Anime.
184
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,200
高中时有个女生叫安娜·梅(Anime和Anna May谐音)
You know, I
knew a girl in high school named Anna May.
185
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,780
安娜·梅·弗莱彻
Anna May Fletcher.
186
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:13,840
她天生单鼻孔
She was born with one nostril.
187
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,910
她后来的整鼻手术很失败
Then she had this bad nose job
188
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,910
最后竟然弄成了三个鼻孔
And basically wound up with
three.
189
00:09:23,110 -->
00:09:26,320
你现在经常混在这儿了
You're here a lot
now.
190
00:09:26,380 -->
00:09:28,330
我话太多了吗
Oh, am I talking too
much?
191
00:09:28,390 -->
00:09:29,440
抱歉 我不说了
I'm sorry. Zip.
192
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,570
谢谢
Thank you.
193
00:09:30,640 -->
00:09:32,910
吃块巧克力吧
Chocolate?
194
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:35,310
好的
Yes please.
195
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,670
基姆 你好
Oh. Hey, Kim.
196
00:09:44,990
--> 00:09:46,040
请你稍等一下
You know what,hold
on.
197
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,800
我到楼道里去接电话
Let me take this in the hall.
198
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:59,130
你绝对想不到他们找谁来接替你的工作
You'll never guess who
they got to replace you at work.
199
00:10:00,670 --> 00:10:04,140
我知道你在干什么了
Okay, I know what you're doing.
200
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,610
真的吗
Really?
201
00:10:05,670 -->
00:10:08,590
你在用巧克力做正面教法
Yes, you're ung
chocolates as positive reinforcement
202
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:12,060
对你认为良好的行为进行奖励
For what you consider
correct behavior.
203
00:10:13,930
--> 00:10:15,920
真聪明
Very good.
204
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:17,880
来块巧克力吗
Chocole?
205
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,970
我不想要什么巧克力
No, I don't want any chocolate!
206
00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:23,730
谢尔顿
Sheldon,
207
00:10:23,740 -->
00:10:28,730
你不能拿我女朋友当实验鼠一样对待
You can't
train my girlfend like a lab rat.
208
00:10:28,730 --> 00:10:31,630
事实证明 我可以
Actually, it turns out I can.
209
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:34,570
你不应该这么做
well, you shouldn't.
210
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,700
莱纳德
就是没法让你满意 是吧
There's just no pleasing you, is
there, Leonard?
211
00:10:36,790 -->
00:10:37,920
你不满意
You weren't happy
212
00:10:38,010 --> 00:10:39,910
我之前那样对她
With my previous approach
to dealing with her,
213
00:10:39,960
--> 00:10:42,680
所以我决定根据桑代克和B.F.斯金纳的理论
So
I decided to employ operant conditioning
techniques,
214
00:10:42,740 -->
00:10:44,910
采取操作性条件反射的办法
Building on the
works of thorndike and B.F. Skinner.
215
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:46,460
下周的这个时候
By this time next week,
216
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,850
我相信我能让她从水池里一跃而出
I believe I can have her
jumping out of a pool,
217
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,750
用鼻子平衡塑料气球
Balancing a beach ball on her nose
218
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,090
不行
这一套必须打住
No, this has to stop now.
219
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:59,280
我不是真的建议让她从水池里跳出来
I'm not suggesting we
really make her jump out of a pool.
220
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,190
我以为你该听出了我的才怪了
I thought the
221
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:04,360
咱们不过是调整她个性
We're just tweaking her
personality.
222
00:11:04,430 -->
00:11:06,600
用另一种说法 就是把那些粗糙表面磨磨光
Sanding
off the rough edges, if you will.
223
00:11:06,670 --> 00:11:08,820
不行 你不能磨佩妮
No. You're not sanding Penny.
224
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:12,270
你是说不许我使用
Are you saying that I am forbidden
225
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,320
能让改进我们生活的
From applying a harmless,
scientifically valid protocol
226
00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:16,980
无害的科学有效的正常手段
That will make our lives better?
227
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,980
是的 我不许
Yes. You're forbidden.
228
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,220
坏莱纳德
Bad
Leonard.
229
00:11:33,100 -->
00:11:34,970
那你们俩是做什么的
So, what do you
guys do?
230
00:11:35,020 -->
00:11:37,270
就是些 哥特东西喽
Oh, you know, goth
stuff.
231
00:11:37,320 -->
00:11:39,190
哥特杂志喽 哥特音乐喽
Goth magazines,
goth music.
232
00:11:39,260 -->
00:11:40,830
哥特食品喽
Goth food.
233
00:11:41,580 --> 00:11:43,010
什么哥特食品
What's goth food?
234
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:47,030
呃 黑焦三文鱼?
Uh. Blackened salmon?
235
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:51,320
不是 我是问你们的工作
No, I meant what do you do for jobs?
236
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,040
我们是科学家
Oh, we're scientists.
237
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,430
当然 是黑科学的
Yeah, you know, the dark sciences.
238
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:57,340
什么是黑科学
What are the dark sciences?
239
00:11:57,430 -->
00:11:58,590
我们
We...
240
00:11:58,660 --> 00:12:00,930
我是个天体物理学家
Well, I am an astrophysicist,
241
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,180
很多工作都要在晚上进行
And a lot of that takes place at night.
242
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:06,170
那时候也有吸血鬼呀
When there are vampires
243
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,060
僵尸呀什么的到处乱跑
And miscellaneous undead out
and about.
244
00:12:13,340 -->
00:12:14,840
听起来很酷啊
That sounds really
cool.
245
00:12:14,900 -->
00:12:18,780
真的吗 好吧 要是你喜欢宇宙那类的
Does it?
Okay. If you like space stuff,
246
00:12:18,850 --> 00:12:20,870
我设计国际太空站的部分呢
I design components for the international
space station,
247
00:12:20,950 -->
00:12:22,240
在太空里
Which is in
space.
248
00:12:22,320 -->
00:12:24,850
你肯定知道 那里没人能听到你喊叫
Where, as
I'm sure you know, no one can hear you scream.
249
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:29,880
那么 两位女士是做什么的
So, what do you gals do?
250
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:31,240
我在盖普服装店
I work at the gap.
251
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:34,360
真的 可真有趣
我曾经去过盖普啊
Really? How about that? I've been to
the gap.
252
00:12:34,420 -->
00:12:35,500
我也去过
I've been there, as
well.
253
00:12:35,550 -->
00:12:38,530
我喜欢你们那种有小口袋的T恤衫
I like your
t-shirts with the little pocket.
254
00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:43,090
我也在那儿上班
反正也没人关心
I work the, too. Not that anyone
cares.
255
00:12:44,340 -->
00:12:46,890
这地方真无聊
You know, this place
is boring.
256
00:12:46,980 -->
00:12:51,050
可不 咱们去别的地方开心开心吧
Yeah
why don't we go somewhere else and have some fun?
257
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,150
好啊
Okay.
258
00:12:52,220 -->
00:12:53,600
当然 我们喜欢开心
Sure we like fun.
259
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,070
我们是开心的人
We are fun people.
260
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,390
又黑暗又开心
Dark and fun.
261
00:12:57,440
--> 00:13:00,190
来吧 我知道一个地方你们肯定喜欢
Come
on. I know a place you'll really dig.
262
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:04,390
你带来黑色避孕套吗
Did you bring the black condoms?
263
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:05,560
就在腰包包里啦
In my fanny pack.
264
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,610
走吧
Let's
go.
265
00:13:13,620 -->
00:13:16,160
现在高兴了
Are you happy now?
266
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,840
没有特别高兴
Not particularly
267
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:26,800
天啊 她没有吧
My god, she didn't!
268
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:30,150
她究竟在说什么要这么久
What could she possibly be talking about for
so long?
269
00:13:30,220 -->
00:13:33,270
显然 在芝士蛋糕厂做招待
Obviously,
waitressing at the cheesecake factory
270
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,860
是个复杂的社会经济性活动
Is a complex socioeconomic activity
271
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,680
而且需要相当多的研究与计划
That requires a great deal
of analysis and planning.
272
00:13:40,850 --> 00:13:42,870
才怪了
273
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,840
知道么
采用
You know, using positive
274
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:49,210
正面鼓励式方法 我能在一个星期之内
Reinforcement
techniques, I could train that behavior
275
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,110
让她改变这个恶习
Out of her in a week.
276
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,380
不
No.
277
00:13:52,440 -->
00:13:53,810
要是你让我用负面鼓励法
If you let me use
negative reinforcement,
278
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,110
睡觉前我就能做到
I can get it done before we go to bed.
279
00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:59,620
你不能用水喷她的脸
You're not squirting her in the
face with water.
280
00:13:59,670 -->
00:14:00,950
当然不
No, of course not.
281
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,990
我说的是十分轻微的电击法
We're talking very mild
electric shocks.
282
00:14:04,020 -->
00:14:06,370
连组织损伤都不会有
No tissue damage
whatsoever.
283
00:14:06,440
--> 00:14:08,060
别想了
Forget it.
284
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:10,340
你不可能告诉我
Oh, come on. You can't tell me
285
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,760
给你打造一个更好的女朋友
That you're not intrigued out
the possibility
286
00:14:12,830 -->
00:14:14,660
让你一点都不动心
Of building a better
girlfriend.
287
00:14:14,730 -->
00:14:16,070
我没有
I'm not.
288
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,150
佩妮的个性 好的和坏的
Well, and Penny's qualities, both good and
bad,
289
00:14:18,240 -->
00:14:20,300
合成了她这个人
Are what make her who
she is.
290
00:14:23,690 -->
00:14:26,860
你是说 比如那个让人无法忍受的尖笑声
You mean,
like that high-pitched, irritating laugh?
291
00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:32,320
你就不想希望一个低嗓门的笑声吗
You wouldn't prefer
a throaty chuckle?
292
00:14:32,380
--> 00:14:35,050
不许你改变佩妮的笑声
You're not
changing how Penny laughs.
293
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:37,090
那才是荒诞呢
No, that would be incongruous.
294
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:38,590
我打算把她的声音整体降低
I was going to lower the whole voice
295
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,970
到一个令人愉快的音区
To a more pleasing register.
296
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,840
对不起啦 伙计
Ugh. Sorry, guys.
297
00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:45,760
那丫头是个怪物
That girl is freaky.
298
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:47,660
再说一遍
Come again?
299
00:14:47,710 -->
00:14:49,160
怪物
Freaky.
300
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:50,250
怪物
Freaky?
301
00:14:50,320 -->
00:14:52,970
怪物
Ah, freaky.
302
00:14:58,580 --> 00:15:01,080
吃块巧克力吧
Have a chocolate.
303
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,950
谢谢
Thank
you.
304
00:15:12,360 -->
00:15:14,490
你真打算破坏你的身体
Are you seriously
going to damage your body
305
00:15:14,540 --> 00:15:16,460
就为了有可能吊上一个
Just for the possibility you could have cheap
sex
306
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:18,340
在酒吧里遇到的马子?
With a strange girl you met in
a bar?
307
00:15:19,910 -->
00:15:21,630
当然
Yeah!
308
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,630
你妈妈会怎么说
What is your mother going to say?
309
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,470
她根本看不到那里
She's not going to see it.
310
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:28,220
她现在量我体温都是放嘴里的
She takes my temperature
orally now.
311
00:15:31,440 -->
00:15:32,710
霍华德 你打算要什么样的
What are you
going to get, Howard?
312
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,730
我不知道该选
Well, I can't really decide
313
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:37,310
尖叫魔鬼 骇人小头骨
Between a screaming devil, this mean little
skull,
314
00:15:37,380 -->
00:15:39,720
或是青蛙柯米特
Or kermit the frog.
315
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:42,130
青蛙柯米特
Kermit the frog? You know.
316
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,020
你好
我在霍华德的屁股上
Hi-ho. I'm on Howard's butt.
317
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,490
刺个骇人小头骨
Get the mean little skull,
318
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,580
我会让它笑起来
And I'll see if I can make him
smile.
319
00:15:49,660 -->
00:15:51,160
请给我刺一个骇人小头骨
Yeah, I'd like
the mean little skull, please.
320
00:15:52,530 --> 00:15:54,560
你要什么 拉杰
What are you going to get, Raj?
321
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,950
像我这种运气
肝炎差不多
With my luck, hepatitis.
322
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,620
好了 我们开始
Okay, here we go.
323
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,640
只擦了点酒精棉花
That's just rubbing alcohol.
324
00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:06,540
我知道 但凉凉的
I know, but it was cold.
325
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,250
我在放图案
I'm putting on the stencil.
326
00:16:10,300 --> 00:16:12,050
放完后怎么做
What comes after the stencil
327
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,310
够了
到此为止
Okay, that's it.
328
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,470
不刺针 不痛苦
不纹身
No needle. No pain. No tattoo.
329
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,340
小事一桩而已 你又不是没纹过
What's the big deal?
You've done this before.
330
00:16:23,410 --> 00:16:25,310
我没纹过
No,
I haven't.
331
00:16:25,400 -->
00:16:26,810
看
Look.
332
00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,600
抱歉 我骗了你们
I'm sorry. I'm a fraud.
333
00:16:29,650 --> 00:16:30,650
他是个骗子
He's a fraud.
334
00:16:30,730
--> 00:16:31,820
我们都说谎了
We're both frauds.
335
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:32,940
我不是已经说过了吗
Yeah, I think I covered
that.
336
00:16:33,000 -->
00:16:35,220
我是在总结
But I was summing up.
337
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:40,880
我们不是哥特 我们只是普通人
We're not Goth. We're
just...guys.
338
00:16:40,940 -->
00:16:42,830
非常 非常聪明的人
Very, very smart
guys.
339
00:16:42,910 -->
00:16:44,780
那你们一直在骗人
So you were totally
scamming us?
340
00:16:44,830 -->
00:16:46,450
是的
Yes.
341
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,050
要是你想离开再也不想见到我们
And I wouldn't blame you if
you
342
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,470
我也不会怪你
Walked out of here and never wanted
to see us again.
343
00:16:52,560 -->
00:16:54,030
除非 这突如其来的坦率
Unless, of
course,our bold honesty
344
00:16:54,110 --> 00:16:56,000
给我们增添了无限魅力
Has suddenly made us
attractive
345
00:16:56,030 -->
00:16:58,370
怎么样
Huh? Huh? Anything?
346
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,290
我要走了
I'm leaving.
347
00:17:06,010 -->
00:17:10,050
我也要走了 反正也没人关心
I'm leaving,
too. Not that anyone cares.
348
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:20,160
等回去说起此事时
要编个不一样的结局
When we tell this story, let's end
it differently.
349
00:17:20,220 -->
00:17:23,280
你在想什么 是不是还要来一段歌舞
What are
you thinking? Maybe a big musical number?
350
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:32,700
我弄点热牛奶就进去睡了
Well, I'm going to make some
warm milk and then turn in.
351
00:17:32,790 --> 00:17:36,460
我相信如果你们打算
亲热的话
I trust if you two are planning on
engaging in amorous activities,
352
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,510
会尽量小声点的
You'll keep the decibel level to a minimum.
353
00:17:38,580 -->
00:17:40,530
当然
Of course.
354
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,710
谢谢
Thank
you.
355
00:17:43,750 -->
00:17:46,880
味道真好
Mmm. These are so good.
356
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:50,690
难以置信
Unbelievable.
357
00:17:50,750 --> 00:17:51,690
怎么了
What?
358
00:17:52,060 -->
00:17:55,010
我刚在想 我们也该进房睡了
I-I was just
thinking we should probably turn in, too.
359
00:17:55,060 --> 00:17:57,890
我的新床送来了
Well, you know, my new bed got
delivered. If you come over
360
00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:00,180
如果你过来把它组装好
就能睡在我那里了
And put it together, you can stay at
my place.
361
00:18:00,250 -->
00:18:02,560
是吗 但得花不少时间 而且现在有点晚了
Really?
That's a lot of work, and it's kind of late.
362
00:18:02,650 --> 00:18:04,680
但那样我们就不用小声了
Yeah, but if we stay there, we
won't have tbe quiet.
363
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,870
我们走
Let's go.
364
00:18:09,240 -->
00:18:10,740
有趣
Interesting.
365
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:15,040
在修正行为方面
性爱比巧克力更有效
Sex works even better than chocolate
to modify behavior.
366
00:18:17,850
--> 00:18:20,200
不知道有没有人研究过这点
I wonder if
anyone else has stumbled onto that.
367
00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,810
等等 这个故事怎么样
Okay, wait. How about this?
368
00:18:29,890 --> 00:18:32,010
有四个哥特女孩
We say there were four goth girls.
369
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,930
酒吧里有两个女孩 她们还有两个朋友
The two girls in the
club have two friends.
370
00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,350
不错 不错
I
like it, I like it.
371
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:39,470
虽然她们是哥特
但她们的味道香吗
Did they smell good despite their
goth-like nature?
372
00:18:39,520
--> 00:18:41,400
这有什么关系
What's that got to
do with the story?
373
00:18:41,470
--> 00:18:44,140
加上嗅觉的描述 我觉得比较真实
Engaging
my olfactory sense helps make it real for me.
374
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,140
好吧
她们闻起来香香的
Fine, they smelled good
375
00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:49,640
确实 就像茉莉和金银花
Oh, they did. Like jasmine and honeysuckle
376
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:51,530
无所谓
Whatever.
377
00:18:51,610 --> 00:18:55,000
她们手拉手
对我们疯狂的 做下流动作
And then they held hands and did
a sexy, demonic hokey pokey for us.
378
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,840
不不 先让我把故事说完
No, no. Ok, let me just say my story all the
way through
379
00:18:57,920 -->
00:18:59,290
你再说你的 然后我们再选
And then
you can say yours, and then we'll pick.
380
00:18:59,340 --> 00:19:00,590
抱歉
你继续说
I'm sorry. Go on.
381
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:02,530
我们去纹了身
Okay. We got tattoos,
382
00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:04,590
然后四个女孩带我们到她们的住所
And then the four girls
took us to their place
383
00:19:04,590 --> 00:19:05,680
但我们没有纹身
But we don't have tattoos.E.
384
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,040
万一有人要看纹身
怎么办
What if someone asks to see our tattoos?
385
00:19:07,130 --> 00:19:10,660
我们就说纹在了非常私密的部位
We say they're in a very
intimate area.
386
00:19:10,720 -->
00:19:13,180
我们太坏了 不是吗
Oh, we're bad
boys, aren't we?
387
00:19:13,270 -->
00:19:16,270
就是 就是
Right, right.
388
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,560
再回头说她们的住所
So, we go back to their
place
389
00:19:17,640 -->
00:19:20,190
最后我们六个人倒在热气腾腾的浴缸中
And then
the six of us end up in a hot tub.
390
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,610
但我们刚纹了身
But we just got tattos.
391
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,560
我们不怕细菌感染吗
Wouldn't we be concerned about bacterial
infection?
392
00:19:24,650 -->
00:19:27,180
对 那不要浴缸这段了
True. Okay.
Forget the hot tub.
393
00:19:27,230
--> 00:19:32,400
重点是我们都和火辣的哥特女孩亲热
The
point is, we each had a ménage with sexy goth
girls.
394
00:19:34,790 -->
00:19:37,710
今晚太棒了
What a great night.
395
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:39,790
是啊
Yeah.
396
00:19:45,630 -->
00:19:47,750
明晚去乡村酒吧碰运气吗
Hey, want to try
a country bar tomorrow night?
397
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,370
也许我们能钓上几个牛仔女孩
Maybe we'll get lucky with
some sexy cowgirls.
398
00:19:50,420
--> 00:19:52,370
很有可能
Could happen.
399
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,700
不知道她们闻起来什么味道
I wonder how they smell.
400
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000
401
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000