生活大爆炸 第四季第一集中英文剧本
阿依莲加盟条件-小学生法制教育案例
生活大爆炸 第四季第一集
现在是宫保鸡丁And now the kung
pao chicken.
很顺利啊Smooth.
最后And finally,
我的木须肉my moo shu pork.
给力!Whoo-hoo!
菜上齐了 先生们Oh, there you have it, gentlemen.
整整一桌由机器人上的晚餐Our entire dinner unpacked by
robot.
而且只花了28分钟And it only took 28 minutes.
是很不错 但我们必须要小心Impressive, but we must be
cautious.
-为什么 -今天机器人来上中国菜- Why? - Today,
it's a Chinese food retrieval robot.
明天就穿越回过去Tomorrow, it travels back in time
谋杀莎拉·康纳and tries to kill Sarah Connor.
我可不觉得这会发生 谢尔顿I don't think that's going to
happen, Sheldon.
确实没发生过No one ever does.
所以才会发生That's why it happens.
嘿 晚餐到了吗Hey.
Is the food here?
这是什么Ooh. What's that?
亲爱的女士That, dear lady,
这叫沃罗威茨程控手is the
Wolowitz Programmable Hand,
专为维修国际空间站designed
for extravehicular repairs
而设计的延伸臂on the
International Space Station.
好酷啊Ah, cool.
叫我把酱油递给你Ask me to pass the soy sauce.
空间站里有人用机械手打酱油吗Oh, does that come up much on
the space station?
通常会是亚裔或犹太航天员Mostly with
Asian and Jewish astronauts.
-好吧 给我酱油 -就来-
All right. Pass the soy sauce. - Coming up.
工作如何So how's work?
还不赖吧Oh, it's not bad.
有点饿了Kind of hungry.
我们都饿Yeah, we all are.
等等就好Just wait.
佩妮 你有想过You realize, Penny,
that the technology
这机械臂所蕴含的科技会在某天that went
into this arm will one day make
让你这种没有能力的服务员下岗么unskilled food servers such as
yourself obsolete.
真的吗Really?
他们会造往你汉堡上吐口水的机器人吗They're going to make a robot
that spits on your hamburger?
我以为你跟她分手了I
thought you broke up with her.
她为什么在这儿Why is
she here?
好了 搞定Okay, here we go.
传递酱油Passing the soy sauce.
手抬起来Put out
your hand.
真不可思议That's amazing.
我可不会说不可思议I
wouldn't say amazing.
最多不过是比《乡村熊狂欢节》里的At best,
it's a modest leap forward
迪士尼乐园一个用机械动物表演的秀
使用的最基本的科技前进了一小步而已from the basic technology
that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.
嘿 谢尔顿Hey,
Sheldon?
怎么了Yes?
和平吗Peace?
不 才不是No,
not peace.
等着Hang on.
美国航天局知道你用这个作餐巾纸架吗Does NASA know you're using
that thing as a napkin holder?
开玩笑
他们以为这个还在JPL的保险柜里呢You kidding? They still think
it's in a secure locker at JPL.
JPL: 喷气推进实验室
美国顶尖机器人实验室
你偷的You stole it?
借的Borrowed.
关键在表现得像把自己的东西带到车上The trick is to carry it out
to your car like you own it.
不好意思Excuse
me.
艾米正在干洗店Amy's at the dry cleaners,
然后想到一个很有趣的双关语and she's made a very amusing
pun.
我不喜欢全氯乙烯
不喜欢乙二醇醚
懂了吗Get it?
不喜欢乙二醇醚She doesn't like glycol ether.
听起来就像亦
噗-哈-哈
-艾米是谁 -他女朋友- Who's Amy? -
His girlfriend.
-谢尔顿有女朋友吗 -她不是我女朋友- Sheldon
has a girlfriend? - She's not my girlfriend.
-这事儿多久了 -四个月- How long has this been going
on? - Four months.
她不是我女朋友She's not my
girlfriend.
你是在说 过去的四个月里Are you telling me,
for the past four months
我一直在问你
有新鲜事吗
你居然从来没想过说and you never thought to go
with,
谢尔顿有女朋友吗
她不是我女朋友She's not my
girlfriend.
啊 等等等等Ah... d-d-d-d...
他们怎么认识的How did they meet?
拉杰和我把谢尔顿的信息发到交友网站上Raj and I entered Sheldon's
information on a dating site,
网站速配了艾米·菲拉·福勒and
it spit out Amy Farrah Fowler.
天哪 谢尔顿和艾米Oh,
my God! Sheldon and Amy.
或者像我们所说谢米
谢米Shamy.
我必须好好八一八谢米了I am so digging the Shamy.
好吧
各单位注意All right, everyone pay attention.
没错
我是有个朋友叫艾米·菲拉·福勒Yes, I have a friend named Amy
Farrah Fowler.
没错 她是女性Yes, she is female.
没错 我们每天交流Yes, we communicate on a daily
basis,
但是 她不是我女朋友but no, she is not my
girlfriend.
好吧 那你们交流都说什么Okay, well, what do
you communicate about?
我的物理工作和她的神经生物学工作Well,
my work in physics, her work in neurobiology,
最新话题是论我们生个孩子的可能性and most recently, the
possibility of our having a child together.
谢谢Thank you.
等等 要孩子Wait a minute-- a
child?
你从没见过这女的You never see this girl.
只有电邮短信和推特联系You just e-mail and text and
Twitter.
然后现在就考虑要孩子了Now you're considering
having a baby?
艾米指出通过我俩的结合Amy pointed out that
between the two of us,
我们的基因将会有机会our genetic
material has the potential
制造出前所未有的of
producing the first in a line
智力超群 仁慈善良的君主of
intellectually superior, benign overlords
带领人类走向光明未来to guide humanity to a brighter
tomorrow.
我猜想未来的历史学家I'm guessing that future
historians
将会谴责我们不趁这机会杀了谢尔顿will condemn us for
not taking this opportunity to kill Sheldon.
好吧 我有个问题Okay, I have a question.
请说
佩妮Yes, Penny.
你不喜欢别人碰你You don't even like
people touching you.
你们怎么做爱呢How are you going
to have sex?
我们干嘛要做爱Why on earth would we have
sex?
亲爱的 你的私处开始发育的时候Oh, honey, did your mom
not have the talk with you?
你妈妈没跟你谈过吗You know,
when your private parts started growing?
我很清楚人类繁殖的方式I'm quite aware of the way humans
usually reproduce,
既脏乱又不卫生Which is messy,
unsanitary,
而且跟你做了三年邻居And based on living next
to you for three years,
听了太多不必要又响亮的呼唤神Involves
loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
天呐Oh,
God.
对 就是这句Yes, exactly.
因此
如果艾米和我Consequently, if Amy and I choose
选择让一个新生命降临to bring new life into this world,
我们会让生育专家It will be accomplished clinically,
在实验室用培养皿受精with fertility experts in a lab with
petri dishes.
这倒提醒我Which reminds me--
你不仅屁股大 而且头脑简单 精力充沛you have broad hips and a
certain corn-fed vigor.
你的子宫可以代孕吗Is your womb
available for rental?
还想深入八一八谢米恋吗Still digging
the Shamy?
谢尔顿Look, Sheldon,
先别急着选孕育科before you race off to the fertility
clinic,
你也可以考虑you might want to think about--
老天 怎么说呢uh, gee, I don't know--
切实地花点时间陪她maybe actually spending some time
with her.
-你是说约会 -没错- You mean dating? -
Yeah.
-我不能和艾米约会 -为什么- I can't date Amy. -
Why not?
她不是我女朋友She's not my girlfriend.
不要把它当成和女朋友约会Okay, look, don't think of it as
dating a girlfriend.
把它当成Think of it as, uh...
了解你孩子的未来妈妈Getting to know the future mother of
your child.
我还真没想到I hadn't considered that.
她将来应该会接触我们的后代I suppose she will have to have
access to our progeny.
你觉得通过短信息And you don't
think I can achieve
我无法达到必要的亲密吗the required
intimacy via text messaging?
应该不能Probably not.
看来电话公司一直在骗我It would appear as if the phone
companies have been lying to me.
佩妮Penny.
佩妮 佩妮Penny. Penny.
你应该知道我站在门的另一边You do
realize I stand on the other side of the door
等你敲完三次门吧waiting for you to finish knocking
three times.
我知道 我能从门缝看到脚的影子I know. I can see
the shadow of your feet under the door.
重点是敲三次很浪费时间Yeah, my point is it's a waste of
time.
如果你想找个If you're looking for an example
浪费时间的例子of a waste of time, I would refer you
我们现在的话题就很浪费时间to the conversation we're having
right now.
你有事吗What do you want?
我决定了接受你的建议I've decided to take your advice and
have arranged
还安排了跟艾米约会to go on a date with
Amy Farrah Fowler.
那太好了Oh, that's great.
-玩得开心 -等等- Have fun. - Wait.
你要载我去You
have to drive me.
-什么 -你知道我不开车- What? - You
know I don't drive.
-去问莱纳德 -问了- Well, go ask
Leonard. - I did.
他说 我复述 问问佩妮He said-- and
I quote--
那是她的可笑主意It was her cockamamy
idea.
莱纳德说可笑
好吧 那是我说的Actually, I'm
paraphrasing.
在基督教家庭长大Having been raised in a
Christian household,
我实在不习惯他的用语I'm
uncomfortable with the language he used.
老实说And to be honest,
其实我也不喜欢可笑这个词I'm not
entirely comfortable with
好吧 什么时候约会Okay,
fine. When's the date?
-现在 -现在?- Now. - Now?
快点 我们要迟到了Hurry. We're going to be late.
谢尔顿 你有没有想过Sheldon, did it ever occur to you
我可能有别的事要忙吗that I might have other plans?
对不起I'm sorry.
你有别的事忙吗Do you have other
plans?
倒是没有 不过Well, no, not per se,
but...
这么说这个话题So this conversation is as
pointless
跟你的敲门独白一样没意义咯as your door-knocking
soliloquy?
我去拿我的可笑钥匙Let me get my... cockamamy
keys.
天呐 太爽了Oh, God, that feels so good.
对 就是那里Yeah, that's the spot.
宝贝儿Oh, baby.
霍华德 吃饭啦Howard, dinner's ready!
我一会再吃I'll
eat later.
现在很忙I'm busy!
爽啊Oh, yeah.
就跟人手一样Just like a real hand.
谢谢你载我去Thank
you for driving me.
不客气You're welcome.
但我希望你不穿人字拖I wish you weren't wearing flip-
flops.
穿人字拖开车很危险It's dangerous to drive in
flip-flops.
-谢尔顿 -对不起- Sheldon. - Sorry.
我只是不想成为另一个人字拖的受害者I just don't want to be yet
another flip-flop fatality.
我能问个问题吗Can I ask
you a question?
鉴于你的社区大学学历Given your community
college education,
我鼓励你尽量多问I encourage you to
ask me as many as possible.
好 我的问题是Yeah.
Well, my question is--
其实我很清楚答案and I'm pretty
sure I know the answer--
这是你第一次约会吗Is this your
first date?
那得看情况That depends.
跟我妹在国庆日Does
square-dancing with my sister
青年敬耶稣方块舞会上at a
Teens for Jesus Fourth of July Hoedown
跳舞算吗count as a date?
不算No.
那这是我第一次约会Then, this is my first date.
那有几件事Okay. Well, then, there's a couple of
things
你应该要知道you should probably know.
我有一个硕士学位和两个博士学位I have a master's degree and
two doctorates.
我应该知道的事 我都知道The things I
should know, I do know.
我的意思是 我比你更清楚约会My
point is, I know more about dating than you,
而且如果你真有你认为的那么聪明and if you were as smart as you
think you are,
你就会听我的话you would listen to me.
如果你是约会专家 那怎么我今晚有约会If you know so much, how
come I have a date tonight
而你只能当我的司机呢and you
have nothing better to do than drive me to it?
说得好Fair point.
《水行侠》的有些问题我想不明白You know,
there's something I've always wondered about
Aquaman.
-什么 -他去哪便便- Yeah? - Where does he
poop?
什么What?
亚特兰蒂斯的马桶长什么样What would a
toilet look like in Atlantis?
你怎么冲掉呢How would
you flush it?
就算你冲掉了 便便又能冲去哪呢And when you did
flush it, where would the poop go?
一会儿再讨论Hold
that thought.
喂 霍华德 怎么了Hey, Howard. What's
going on?
啥What...
等等 霍华德 慢点说Hold on.
Howard, Howard, slow down.
机械手卡在你的什么上了The
robot hand is stuck on your what?
说出来肯定吓你一跳You're not going to believe this.
艾米 听谢尔顿说So, um, Amy, Sheldon tells me
你是一个神经...什么来着you're a neuro... something-or-
other.
是神经生物学家Neurobiologist.
你车的检查引擎灯亮了Your
噢 不管它Yeah, it's okay.
但如果灯亮了就说明...But the light indicates...
不用费心了Don't bother.
我已经浪费太多时间I've
wasted many an hour
攻击这座顽固的风车了tilting at that
particular windmill.
你用的什么香水吗Uh, what is that
scent you're wearing?
真好闻It smells great.
去屑洗发水Dandruff shampoo.
我头皮干燥I have dry
scalp.
你发质看着很好呀Well, your hair looks very
nice.
你是同性恋么Are you a homosexual?
当然不
我只是赞美你而已No, no, I'm just giving you a compliment.
要你是同性恋 赞美不听着更由衷吗Would have been more
flattered if you were a homosexual.
那啥
来点音乐怎样Guys, how 'bout some music?
哦不 我可不想要Oh,
no, I wouldn't care for that.
艾米 你呢Amy?
我也是 谢了No, thank you.
好吧Okay.
那就诡异地沉默着吧Uncomfortable silence it is.
谢尔顿
你有没有告诉艾米Hey, Sheldon, have you told Amy
你小时候在德州长大的经历what it was like for you growing
up in Texas?
没有No.
哎 为什么不告诉她Well, why
don't you tell her?
好吧All right.
痛苦得要死It
was hell.
艾米 有什么想法么Any follow up, Amy?
没有No.
我在内布拉斯加州长大I myself grew up in
Nebraska.
奥马哈郊外的一个小镇Small town outside of
Omaha.
很好的地方 大多是家庭农场 还有些制毒窝点Nice place,
mostly family farms, a few meth labs.
不好意思
这样还不如诡异地沉默呢I'm sorry, how is this better than
uncomfortable silence?
我也不知道 不过是试着找点话题I don't
know. I was just trying something.
麻瓜一个[此处引用《哈利波特》里的说法]Muggles.
你是滑倒摔进机械手里的吗You slipped and fell into a robot
hand?
对Yes.
鸡鸡先着地Penis first?
对
快帮我Yes. Now, help me!
我本来想建议用润滑剂I'd suggest a
lubricant, but I have a feeling
但我想其实你已经栽在润滑剂里了you fell on some of that as
well.
不好笑 莱纳德Not funny, Leonard.
是吗
一个机械手卡在你小弟弟上Really? A robot hand's got a death
grip on your junk, dude.
这还不好笑吗 不信你问别人That's
funny, ask anyone.
拜托 趁我妈还没进来 快把这玩意弄掉Plea--
before my mother walks in, get this off me!
唔
我看看Okay, let's see.
别 别碰电脑No, no! Don't
touch.
程序暂停了The program is paused.
那就重新启动呗Well, then let's un-pause it.
别
导入错误的程序No, no! I loaded the wrong program.
这玩意以为自己在外太空握着把螺丝刀呢The hand thinks it's holding
a screwdriver in outer space.
要是程序继续
它就要开始扭了If you continue the program, it's gonna
start twisting.
好吧A-All right.
这样如何Um, how
about this.
小熊维尼的脑袋卡在蜂蜜树上时When-when Winnie the
Pooh got his head stuck
他的伙伴们就会上去拉住他in the
honey tree, his friends all grabbed onto him
然后往外拔啊拔啊拔and pulled and pulled.
你爱咋咋地You
do what you want,
我可不想碰其他男人的蜂蜜树
好吧 不拔了All
right, uh, forget pulling.
那就找把电锯 直接锯掉How
about we get an electric saw and cut it off?
啥
不准用电锯What?! No saws!
一个包皮环切还不够吗One
circumcision was enough.
那乙快焊炬呢How about an
acetylene torch?
好吧 不敢相信我还要声明这些Okay, I can't
believe this needs to be said out loud.
不准拔
不准用电锯和焊炬No pulling, no saws, no torches.
那你要我们做啥Well, then what do you want us to do?
霍华德 我做了饼干Howard, I made cookies for you
给你和你的小伙伴and your little friends!
好极了 老妈
多谢That's great, Mom, thanks!
我送上来
再带点夏威夷宾治酒I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian
Punch!
别上来Don't come up here!
干嘛
看不起你妈吗Why not?! Are you ashamed of your mother?!
话是没错 但这不是关键Yes, but that's not the point!
快帮帮忙Get me out of here.
你有想法吗 拉杰You have
any ideas, Raj?
现在啊 我满脑子都是饼干和夏威夷宾治酒Right now,
all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian
Punch.
好吧 换个话题Hey, here's another
possible topic of conversation.
今晚是谢尔顿的盛大之夜啊This is a big night for Sheldon.
是吧 谢尔顿Right, Sheldon?
盛大Big night?
冬至日的夜晚才叫大The winter solstice is a big night.
在南加利福尼亚It's over 14 hours
一共有整整14小时呢in
Southern California.
这句话仿得真有意思That's an
amusing factoid.
谢谢Thank you.
不No, no.
我是说 今晚是谢尔顿第一次正式约会My point is, uh, tonight is
Sheldon's first official date.
你们继续吧Discuss.
真的吗Is this true?
当然
在国庆日上的青年敬基督Apparently, a semi-incestuous Teens for
Jesus
方块舞会上的那次半乱伦约会不算Fourth of July Hoedown
didn't count.
艾米 那你呢So, um, Amy, what about
you?
你约会过吗Do you date much?
一年一次Once a
year.
我和我妈说好了It's a deal I made with my mother
这样她就不唠叨这事in exchange for her silence on the
matter,
还可以偶尔用她的乔治·富曼烤架as well as the
occasional use of her George Foreman Grill
锁住美味 没有脂肪that seals in the flavor without the
fat.
你呢 佩妮How about you, Penny?
你约会过很多次吗Do you go on many dates?
其实也没有很多次啦Uh, yeah, I wouldn't say many.
有几个吧A few.
这算啥表情What's...?
你把约171个不同男人描述为有几个
few.
什么What...
你怎么算的171个Where did you get 171 men?
简单的推断Simple extrapolation.
我认识你的这三年来In the
three years that I've known you,
你有两年是单身you
were single for two.
在那两年里 你跟17名追求者约会过During
that time, I saw 17 different suitors.
往前倒推的话
请纠正如果观察有误If we work backwards, correcting for
observation bias
并假设你初次约会年龄为15岁and postulate
an initial dating age of 15
等等 等等Whoa, wait,
wait, wait.
我才不是15岁开始约会的I did not start dating
at 15.
抱歉 十六岁I'm sorry. Sixteen?
十四Fourteen.
我的错My mistake.
假设钟形曲线的左半部分在目前达到峰值Now, assuming the
left side of a bell curve peaking around the
present,
那就是说总数为193人that would bring the
total up to 193 men.
正负8人Plus or minus eight
men.
太厉害了Remarkable.
你跟这些人都有过性关系吗Did you
have sexual intercourse with all of these men?
没有No.
这个数字要算的话也相当简单Although that number
would be fairly easy to calculate.
基于我早上在她公寓门口尴尬邂逅Based on the number of awkward
encounters I've had
陌生过夜男士的数量with strange men
leaving her apartment in the morning,
加上遇见她穿着前晚衣服plus the number of times she's
returned home wearing the same clothes
早上回家的次数she wore the night before...
好了
谢尔顿 我们都明白你意思了Okay, Sheldon, I think you've made
your point.
那就是193人So we multiply 193--
减去她失去童贞之前的21人minus 21 men before the loss of
virginity--
即172人乘以0.18so 172 times 0.18 gives
us...
30.96位性伴侣30.96 sexual partners.
约等于31Let's round that up to 31.
好了 谢尔顿
这根本不对Okay, Sheldon, you are so wrong.
跟实际数字大相径庭That is not even close to the real
number.
这里给我来杯酒I'm gonna need a drink over
here.
这真有趣This is very interesting.
个人的文化认知是非常主观的Cultural perceptions are
subjective.
佩妮 在你看来 你是荡妇吗Penny, to your
mind, are you a slut?
不 不是No! No!
不是No.
我们还是自顾自用餐好了 好吗Let's just all finish our
dinners, okay?
确实是个有趣的话题This is an interesting
topic.
你有多少次性经验How many sexual encounters have
you had?
这要看志愿参加科学实验Does volunteering for a
scientific experiment
通过电子系统刺激人脑中的in which
orgasm was achieved by electronically
愉悦中心区获得性高潮也算吗stimulating the pleasure centers
of the brain count?
我想应该算的I should think so.
那就是128次Then 128.
好的 进来吧Okay, come on.
就快到了Almost there.
-别用力拉 -我没在拉- Don't tug.
- No tugging.
下回你自己搞定Next time, take your own
advice.
打扰下 能否帮帮我们Excuse me, could you help
us out?
天哪天哪天哪My, my, my.
这怎么回事What do we
have here?
我不小心滑倒了I slipped and fell.
嗯
这我们经常碰到Yeah, we get that a lot.
这是什么What is
this?
是机器人的手臂It's a robot arm.
那机器人的其他部分呢Where's the rest of the robot?
我就造了手臂I only built the arm.
因为你就需要这个
是吗'Cause that's all you needed, right?
能先帮我解决这再说吗Can you please just help me?!
好吧
好吧All right, all right.
稍安勿躁Hang on, stay
calm.
请派护理员送轮椅来I need an orderly with a
wheelchair.
有被机械手钳住小弟弟的来看急诊I got a robot hand
grasping a man's penis out here.
你讲话就不能含蓄点You
think you could be a little more discreet?
抱歉
机械手钳住小弟弟这种情况未设代码I'm sorry,we don't have a code for
man's penis.
它为何还连到电脑上Why is it hooked up
to a computer?
-就是通过电脑控制机械手的 -但电脑死机了- Uh,
it's what controls the arm. - But it's frozen.
你试过关机重启吗Did you try turning it off and
back on again?
不 这事远比这复杂得多No, you see, it's
more complicated than that.
别 住手No, wait!
小熊维尼终于从蜂蜜树中脱困Winnie the Pooh is out of the
honey tree.
现在能让我们吃饼干和夏威夷宾治了吧Now can we have
cookies and Hawaiian Punch?
你说得对You were
right.
这个夜晚确实收获颇丰This was a very productive
evening.
今晚我见识到了艾米·菲拉·福勒全新的一面I saw a whole new
side of Amy Farrah Fowler tonight.
我没跟31个男人有过性关系I did not have sex with 31 guys.
我很乐意验算下 但数字不会骗人的I'll be happy to check the
math, but numbers don't lie, Penny.
不管怎样
现在我和艾米已共度了美好时光
together,
我就更有信心I feel much
more confident
继续将我俩关系发展到下一阶段了proceeding to
the next stage of our relationship.
什么阶段And
that is?
利用试管授精和代孕Using in vitro fertilization
and a surrogate uterus
生下我们的后代向人类献礼to gift
humanity with our progeny.
你还在计划这个You're still
on that?
人世无常 人类难道不该有所安慰In these uncertain
times, doesn't humanity deserve a gift?
好吧
这样吧Okay, you know what?
我再换种方式跟你说I'm gonna
come at this in a whole new way.
谢尔顿
如果你想用培养皿造出你跟艾米的孩子Sheldon, if you try to make a
baby with Amy in a petri
dish,
我一定会去告诉你的妈妈I'm gonna tell your mother on you.
这威胁不了我That's no threat.
我妈一直都想抱孙子的My
mother's always wanted a grandchild.
真的
你那虔信基督再生的母亲Really? Your deeply religious born-
again Christian mother
会想要一个非婚生的试管婴儿当她的孙子wants
a test-tube grandbaby born out of wedlock?
诅咒你Curses.
我要是早点想出这招If I'd thought of that
in the first place,
今晚也不用受这份罪了I could've saved
myself this whole night.
现在还不算晚Well, it's not
that late.
你还是可以出去寻找32号性伴侣You could still go
out and look for number 32.
晚安Good night.
霍华德 怎么了Hey, Howard, what's up?
我决定不要孩子了I've decided not to procreate.
好的
很好Yeah, yeah, great.
霍华德 慢点说Howard, uh, slow
down.
什么叫悲剧重演了What do you mean it happened
again?