张舒羽-法院实习日记

生活大爆炸第四季7集
No, seriously, I think I've finally figured out my problem with women.
说真的 我终于知道 我搞不定女人的问题在哪了
The capybara is the largest member of the rodent family.
水豚是世界上体型最大的啮齿类动物
What does that have to do with me and women?
这跟我搞不定女人有啥关系?
Nothing.
没关系
It was a desperate attempt to introduce an alternate topic of conversation.
只是我想转变话题的一次徒劳尝试
My problem is, I don't project confidence.
症结在于 我的表现不够自信
So I decided that the next time I meet a woman
我决定 下次再见到女人
I think is attractive,rather than holding back and being cautious,
绝不唯唯诺诺裹足不前
I'm going to assume the mantle of self- assurance.
我要大胆展现自信的风采
Oh, yeah? What's that look like?
是哦? 怎么个展现法?
Hi.
嗨
I'm Leonard.
我是Leonard
And you are beautiful.
你好美
You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.
你气质闪耀 电力十足 让我怦然心动
I'm going to pick you up at 8:00,

晚上8点 我准时来接你
show you a night you will never forget.
让你度过一个毕生难忘的夜晚
Where are we going?
我们去哪里?
Good news.
好消息
I made it onto the team for the new Defense Department
我终于能加入国防部那个 激光侦查卫星的新项目了
laser-equipped surveillance satellite.
Excuse me.
不好意思
If we're changing topics, I believe I have first dibs
改变话题的优先权应该属于我
with capybara, a rodent the size of a baby hippo.
是我先提出了水豚-- 一种体型与河马幼崽相近的啮齿动物
Congratulations, Howard.
恭喜你 Howard
Thanks.
谢谢
Listen, I have to get a security clearance,
不过我需要接受安全调查
so you guys might be hearing from the FBI.
可能FBI会找你们问话
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
哇哇哇!
I don't want to speak to the FBI.
我不想被FBI问话
Why not?

为啥
I'm brown and I talk funny.
我不够白又有口音
They're just doing a background check on me.
只是对我做个背景调查
It doesn't matter; they'll find a reason
那又怎地 他们可以随便找个理由
to give me a one- way ticket back to Gandhi-ville.
塞给我一张单程机票 让我滚回甘地的老家
By the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.
我可没有贬义
Don't be ridiculous, Raj. You're here legally.
别傻了 Raj 你有合法居留权
Nobody cares. Do you know how long it's been
谁管那个 你知道之前我每次过机场安检 都得做结肠镜检查吗
since I got through airport security without being given a colonoscopy?
You know, I try very hard
我一直致力于使我们的午餐时间寓教于乐
to make our lunch hours educational and informative,
but your insistence on talking about your own lives
可你们坚定不移地谈论生活琐事
stymies me at every turn.
从不给我传道授业的机会
Fine, Sheldon, tell us about your giant rodents.
好吧 Sheldon 请为我们科普 您的巨型啮齿动物吧
1No, you squandered your time with me,
不 你们浪费了太多时间
and the moment has now passed.
科普时间已过
Feast on your disappointment,

尽情享受你们的失望之情吧
much as the capybara feasts on its own waste.
就像水豚食用自己的粪便一样
* Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *
* 奇点宇宙致密无比 *
* Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *
* 一百四十亿年前膨胀开 等下... *
* The Earth began to cool *
* 地表逐渐冷却 *
* The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *
* 生物开始繁衍 猿人举起斧和铲 *
* We built the Wall * * We built the pyramids *
* 人类添砖加瓦 (建起了金字塔) *
* Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *
* 学好数理化 走遍天下都不怕 *
* That all started with a big bang *
* 生活源自大爆炸! *
Oh, Bella, don't you see?
唉 Bella 你怎么会不知道
Edward's only pushing you away because he loves you.
Edward推开你是因为他深爱着你啊
Coming.
来了
Dr. Koothrappali?
Koothrappali博士?
I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
我是FBI的特别探员Page
May I come in?
可以进来吗
I'd like to talk to you about Howard Wolowitz.

关于Howard Wolowitz 我想问您几个问题
Oh, thank you.
哦 谢谢
All ,
那么
how long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?
您认识Wolowitz先生多久了?
Rum cake?
来点朗姆酒蛋糕?
No, thanks.
不了 谢谢
Now, about Mr. Wolowitz...
关于Wolowitz先生...
- Seven years. - I see.
- 七年了 - 好的
I'm in this country legally, you know.
我有合法居留权
I'm sure you are.
当然
Now, to your knowledge, has Mr. Wolowitz ever committed a crime?
据您所知 Wolowitz先生有犯罪记录吗
Of course not. I'm here on an H-1B visa,
绝对没有 我拿的是H1B签证
which means I can't be associated in any way
我不能与任何犯罪行为有关联
with crime or criminal activity. And I'm not.
当然我也没有
Good.
好的
To your knowledge, does Mr. Wolowitz have any foreign contacts?

据您所知 Wolowitz先生与国外有联系吗
No, just me.
没有 只有我
Oh, there it is.
这下惨了
Here comes a cavity search.
又要检查菊花了
Excuse me?
您说什么
Please don't send me back to India; it's so crowded!
求你们别送我回印度 那人太多了!
It's like the whole country is one endless Comic-Con,
整个国家就像个永不落幕的动漫展
except everybody's wearing the same costume: Indian Guy.
而且所有人都穿一样的衣服: 印度土包子装
- Dr. Koothrappali, I'm not... - I love this country!
- Koothrappali博士 我没... - 我爱美国!
The-the baseball, the freedom, the rampant morbid obesity!
我爱棒球 爱自由 我爱街上数不胜数的大胖子!
From California to the New York Island!
从加州到纽约岛我统统爱!
I'm a real Yankee Doodle boy!
我是如假包换的美国傻小子!
Dr. Koothrappali, please.
Koothrappali博士 请...
* My country 'tis of thee... *
* 我的祖国连着你... *
* ...liberty *
* ...自由 *
* It's really great. *

* 多伟大 *
So, when Howard said the FBI would be contacting me,
Howard说会有FBI来找我的时候
I was expecting Mulder.
我以为来的会是Mulder呢
Glad to see I got Scully.
真高兴来的是Scully
Who?
谁?
Mulder and Scully.
Mulder和Scully (男女搭档)
X-Files.
X档案

真相就在那里无所谓了
Uh, so, what would you like to know?
呃 你想问什么
You work with Mr. Wolowitz here at the university, correct?
您和Wolowitz先生在学校里是同事 对吧
Yes. Of course, we're in different departments.
是的 只是不在一个系里
He's an engineer and I'm an experimental physicist.
他是工程师 我是实验物理学家
You know, one of those guys who examines the building blocks of creation
你知道 我们负责检查前人的成果
and says,
然后说 你好啊 造物主

你的成就我们有目共睹
Good one.

干得不错
Right.
明白了
Now, how would you characterize your relationship with Mr. Wolowitz?
那么您会如何形容 您与Wolowitz先生的关系?
Good.
好
It's a good relationship.
我们哥俩好着呢
Of course, most of my relationships are good.
当然 我和很多人关系都挺好
Probably because I exude confidence.
可能因为我周身散发着自信的气息
People are drawn to that, you know?
大家就受不了那个 可不是吗
Confidence, not exuding.
散发信心 不是汗味
Do you know of any groups Mr. Wolowitz is a member of?
据您所知 Wolowitz先生参加过什么团体吗
You are beautiful, you know that?
你知道吗 你好美
You pop, sparkle and buzz electric.
你气质闪耀 电力十足 让我怦然心动
I'm going to pick you up at 8:00,
晚上8点 我准时来接你
show you a night you will never forget.
让你度过一个毕生难忘的夜晚
Sounds great.
听起来不错
Really?

真的?
Yeah.
真的
Can my six-foot-two Navy SEAL husband come with us?
我能带上我海豹突击队的身高1米89的老公一起吗
Is that...? Oh, my, I didn't see the ring with my glasses off, so...
那是..唉 不戴眼镜 我没看见你的戒指...
Look at that, I'm starting to exude.
你看 我开始出汗了
Want to get that?
你去开门?
Not particularly.
我没想去
Could you get that?
你能去开门吗
I suppose I could if I were asked.
要是你好好说 我早就去开了
Would you please get that?
能麻烦您去开门吗
Of course.
好的
Why do you have to make things so complicated?
你干嘛把事情弄这么复杂?
- Dr. Cooper? - Yes.
- Cooper博士? - 是我
I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
我是FBI的特别探员Page
You say you're Special Agent Page, FBI.
你说你是FBI的特别探员Page
Here's my I.D.

这是我的证件
And here is my Justice League membership card.
这是我的正义联盟卡 (DC公司笔下的超级英雄团队)
But that doesn't prove I know Batman.
但那不代表我认识蝙蝠侠
I just want to ask you a few questions about Howard Wolowitz.
我只想问几个关于Howard Wolowitz的问题
Oh. All right.
哦 那好吧
I doubt anyone would risk the stiff penalties for impersonating a federal officer
应该不会有人甘冒巨额罚款的危险假扮联邦探员
just to ask questions about a minor league engineer
只为打听一个怀有浓厚恋母情结的低学历工程师
with an unresolved Oedipal complex.
Thank you.
谢谢
For the record, I truly support the FBI
事先声明 我本人非常支持FBI
in the mission which is expressed through their motto...?
他们用行动表达的誓言...
Fidelity, bravery, integrity.
忠诚 勇敢 正直
Correct. Now to business.
正确 进入正题吧
18 years ago, I sent the FBI Crime Lab samples
18年前 我给FBI科学检测罪行实验室 寄过一袋粪便样品
from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire on my front porch...
有人把它烧着了撒在我家门口...
...for fingerprinting and DNA analysis.

我提出做指纹和DNA分析
Why haven't I heard back yet?
为何至今仍未给我回复?
Well, the FBI Crime Lab does have a lot on its plate.
FBI的检测罪行实验室太忙了
That's of little comfort to a nation attempting to scrape burning feces off its shoes.
对于一个试图刮掉鞋底焦粪的公民来说 这种托词实在难以接受
Would you mind if we talked about Mr. Wolowitz now?
您介意我们说说Wolowitz先生的事吗
A little, but go on.
有点介意 不过请讲吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Would you characterize him as responsible?
您认为他是一个负责任的人吗
I'm going to answer that with a visual aid.
我要直观地回答你的问题
This is my nine-disc complete Lord of the Rings trilogy Blu-ray set.
这是我的《指环王三部曲》蓝光收藏版
Mr. Wolowitz borrowed it,
Wolowitz先生向我借过
damaged plastic retention hub number three...
他弄坏了第三碟的塑料扣之后...
...and then returned it to me, hoping I wouldn't notice.
...若无其事地还了回来 以为我不会发现
Would you characterize that as responsible?
你认为这算负责任吗
That's really not the sort of thing we're interested in.
我们不是要问这个
You heard me say Blu-ray, right?

你听见我说了是蓝光吧?
I did.
听见了
Very well.
那好
Would you be interested in knowing that Mr. Wolowitz once snuck onto
你们想问的 是不是Wolowitz先生 曾偷偷登陆我的魔兽账户
my World of Warcraft account and changed the name
把我那80级术士的名字
of a certain level-80 warlock from Sheldor to Smeldor?
从Sheldor改成了Smeldor? (谢耳朵变臭耳朵了~)
I'm afraid not.
恐怕也不是
Is there anything else?
还有别的事吗

还有别的事吗 你们想从哪听起?
He refuses to pay fines when he's overdue with books I lend him.
他借我的书逾期不还且拒付罚款
He crashed the Mars Rover while attempting to impress a woman.
他为取悦女人撞毁了火星漫游车
He recommended that I go see the third Matrix movie because it was, and I quote,
他推荐我看《黑客帝国III》理由是 这是他原话: 跟第一部一样好

If that's not irresponsible, I don't know what is.
如果那都不叫不负责任 我不知道什么才是了
The Mars Rover?
火星漫游车?
Did I say Mars Rover?

我说过火星漫游车?
You did.
是的
That was actually a poorly chosen example,
这个事例选得不太好 而且跟我一点关系都没有
as it had nothing to do with me.
Yes, well, let's talk about it anyway.
嗯 我们聊聊这个吧
I don't want to.
我不想聊
Not that my disinclination to discuss the topic should be interpreted as
倒不是因为这个话题会成为
evidence of Howard Wolowitz's culpability in the destruction
Howard Wolowitz毁坏 价值数百万的国家财产的铁证
of government property worth millions of dollars.
我才不想聊的
Thank you, Dr. Cooper. I think I have all I need.
谢谢你 Cooper博士 我的问题都问完了
Oh, good.
哦 太好了
I was afraid you were going to fixate on that Mars Rover incident.
我以为你会一直问火星漫游车的事呢
Hey, buddies.
嗨 伙计们
Guess who didn't get security clearance to work on the giant space laser?
猜猜谁没通过空间激光项目的安全调查?
What happened?
怎么回事?
Apparently, the background interviews didn't go well.

显然是背景调查出岔子了
You guys wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
不是你们说了我什么吧
Well, actually,
嗯 事实上
I may have gotten a little tipsy when I talked to her.
那个特工找我的时候 我好像醉了
And I may have hit on her a little bit.
我好像调戏她了
I may have thrown up rum cake on her shoes.
我好像还把朗姆蛋糕吐在她脚上了
I see. Well, it's good to know, when I need you guys,
明白了 我终于知道 需要你们的时候
I can always count on you to step up and ruin everything.
你们几个绝对排着队地给我帮倒忙
- I feel awful. - Ah, me, too.
- 我太丢脸了 - 我也是
To tell you the truth, I thought if anyone was going to
说实话 我本以为给Howard找麻烦的人是Sheldon呢
screw things up for Howard, it'd be Sheldon.
Well, your expectations have been subverted.
让你们失望了
Aha.
啊哈
What are you doing up?
你怎么起来了?
Sleep eludes me, Leonard.
睡眠在躲避我 Leonard
Really?

真的?
Maybe sleep has met you before.
它之前见过你吧
Mockery?
讥讽?
That's all you have to offer?
这就是你要说的?
I'm sorry. Why can't you sleep?
对不起 你为啥睡不着?
Who knows?
谁知道呢
I haven't watched any scary movies recently.
我最近都没看恐怖片
I'm no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass
也不再纠结于为何量子真空中
of the quantum vacuum has little effecton the expansion of the universe.
假设的粒子质量对宇宙的膨胀影响甚微
And it's been weeks since I took that accidental sip of Red Bull.
不小心抿过一口红牛 也是几星期前的事了
Did something happen today that's bothering you?
是不是今天有事情让你不安呢
Well, I did mention the Mars Rover incident to that FBI agent
我对FBI说了火星漫游车的事
and probably cost Howard his security clearance.
可能因为那个 Howard没通过安全调查
- What? - But why should that keep me up?
- 什么 - 可我怎么会因为那个无法入睡呢
Because you feel guilty?
因为你觉得内疚了?
Interesting.

有意思
So you're saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty conscience.
你是说 我的失眠是内疚引起的
Actually, you don't have insomnia.
其实你没有失眠
- You're sleeping now. - Excuse me?
- 你正在睡觉 - 什么
You're having a guilt- ridden dream.
你只是做了一个充满负罪感的梦
Do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis?
有何证据证明你的假设?
How about that Gorn sitting on the couch?
否则戈恩人怎么会坐在沙发上? (出自星际迷航)
That seems fairly conclusive.
毋庸置疑了
No, Gorn, no.
不 戈恩 不
That's where I sit.
那是我的位子
Thank you for agreeing to see me, Agent Page.
谢谢你同意见我 Page探员
Thank you for filing a complaint with my superior, Dr. Cooper.
谢谢你向我的上司投诉 Cooper博士
I understand you want to recant your statement about Howard Wolowitz.
我知道你想撤销关于Howard Wolowitz的陈述
- Yes. - Was your statement untrue?
- 是的 - 你的陈述是否与事实不符?
No.
不是
Then I'm afraid you can't withdraw it.

那恐怕无法撤销
I'm sorry. I don't recall you saying
抱歉 我不记得你说过不许反悔
Is there anything else?
还有别的事吗
Yes. I'd like to offer a laudatory statement
有 我想就Howard众多优良品质
about Howard's many excellent qualities that
提供一个正面陈述
I believe will tip the scales back in his favor.
相信能帮他扭转局势


, of which he has much.
代表诚实(honesty) 他本人非常诚实

代表杰出(outstanding) 他本人亦很杰出
, he's quick with a joke.
代表诙谐(witty) 他的笑话信手拈来
A's for artistic, his ability...
代表风雅(artistic) 他本人...
I'm sorry. Dr. Cooper, this matter is already closed.
很抱歉 Cooper博士 调查已经结束了
But I still have
我还剩下没说呢
It's closed.
调查结束了
I don't understand why you people are picking on my friend, Howard,
我不明白为什么你们 对我的朋友Howard这么挑三拣四
when there are much more serious security threats to pursue.

有那么多严重的安全威胁等着你们去查
For instance, when I first met Leonard,
比如我第一次见到Leonard的时候
he was on the verge of giving away rocket secrets to a North Korean spy,
他差点把火箭机密透漏给一个朝鲜间谍
and not one agent ever investigated that.
却没有一个探员调查过那件事
This is Leonard Hofstadter?
你说的是Leonard Hofstadter?
No, it's a different Leonard. He's...
不不 是另一个Leonard 他...
Chinese, red hair, six fingers. Good-bye.
中国人 红头发 还是个六指 拜拜
Raj.
Raj
Have you seen Howard?
你看见Howard了吗
I think he's eating lunch.
他应该在吃中饭
Uh, Sheldon, I want you to meet Neil deGrasse Tyson
呃 Sheldon 这位是纽约海登天文馆的
from the Hayden Planetarium in New York.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
I'm quite familiar with Dr. Tyson.
久闻Tyson博士大名
He's responsible for the demotion of Pluto from planetary status.
取消冥王星的行星地位的就是他
I liked Pluto.
我喜欢冥王星
Ergo I do not like you.

所以我不喜欢你
But I actually didn't demote Pluto.
取消冥王星的可不是我
That was a vote of the International Astronomical Union.
那是国际天文学联合会投票决定的
If
如果借口有甜味 圣诞节大家就都不用买糖果了
Think about that, Dr. Tyson.
想想吧 Tyson博士
Is that the guy you were telling me about?
你跟我说的就是他?
Oh, yeah.
没错
Howard.
Howard
The person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me.
是我害你没通过安全调查的
You?
你?
Yes, but before you get upset, I want you to know
是的 但在你伤心之前 我想告诉你
I went to the FBI and retracted my statement.
我去找FBI撤销我的陈述了
And they were okay with that?
他们同意了吗
No. If anything, I made it worse.
没有 事情反而更严重了
In any case, I have been riddled with guilt,
总之 我的内心充满内疚之情
which is causing Gorn-infested REM sleep.

以致戈恩人侵入了我的深度睡眠
So, I'm here now to say I'm sorry.
所以 我来跟你道歉
Are you kidding me?
你开什么玩笑
You've set my career back at least two years,
你害我至少两年的努力打了水漂
and you think you can make it right with
你觉得一句对不起就能解决?
Yes.
是的
I followed the social protocol.
我遵守了社交礼仪
I attempted to right the wrong, and when I failed to do so,
我尝试了纠正错误 当错误无法纠正时
I delivered a heartfelt apology.
我来发自肺腑地道歉
Now you say,
然后你说接受道歉
and I will offer you a one-time- only high five.
我会跟你击掌一次 尽释前嫌
Your apology is not accepted.
你的道歉我不接受
You're tricking me. It really is, isn't it?
你骗我的 其实你接受了对吧
Leave me alone, Sheldon.
离我远点 Sheldon
Dr. Cooper, I just wanted you to know
Cooper博士 我想让你知道
I'm sorry for the role I played in the Pluto matter.

对于冥王星事件我很抱歉
Oh, shut up.
哦 闭嘴
- Sheldon? - Hello.
- Sheldon? - 你好
What are you doing here?
你在这干什么
I have troubles, Penny.
我遇到麻烦了 Penny
I've come to pour them out to the sympathetic ear of the local barkeep.
我是来找酒保倒苦水的
You know, they have a really nice bar over at the Olive Garden.
你知道 橄榄园的酒吧很不错呢
I don't like the Olive Garden.
我不喜欢橄榄园
They treat me like family.
他们对待我就像家人一样
Okay, Sheldon. What can I get you?
好吧 Sheldon 你想要什么
Alcohol.
酒
Could you be a little more specific?
能具体一点吗
Ethyl alcohol.
乙醇
40 milliliters.
40毫升
I'm sorry, honey. I don't know milliliters.
抱歉 亲爱的 我不知道毫升是多少
Ah. Blame President James

都怪詹姆斯·吉米·卡特总统
He started America on a path to the metric system but then just gave up.
他想在美国推行公制标准 最后却不了了之
He wonders why he was a one-term president.
就这样还质疑自己为何不能连任
Would you say that's about 40 milliliters?
这有40毫升吗
- More or less. - Great.
- 差不多吧 - 好的
Now, where were we?
说到哪了?
I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail.
你想让我选一种鸡尾酒
Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics,
拜精通电脑的酒鬼们所赐
there's an app for that.
专门有个应用程序
Let's see.
我看看
Harvey Wallbanger. Eh.
夏薇华饼屋 哎哟
Sex on the Beach. I hardly think so.
性感海滩 算了吧
Rob Roy, Silk Slipper, Mad Hatter.
赤胆豪情 绸缎拖鞋 疯狂帽匠
Ooh!
哦!
I'll have a Rosewater Ricky.
我要一杯玫瑰利基
- A what? - You'll need pitted,

- 啥玩意? - 需要白兰地泡过的樱桃 去核
brandied cherries, gin, rosewater,
杜松子酒 玫瑰花水
Angostura bitters and overproofed rum.
安格斯特拉苦酒和烈朗姆酒
Now, first, dust the cherries with sugar,
先将蘸了糖霜的樱桃打碎
then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters.
撒在混合好的苦酒和朗姆酒上
- Then ignite the rum, caramel... - Here you go-- one Rosewater Ricky.
- 再点燃朗姆酒 焦糖... - 给 玫瑰利基一杯
That's not how it looks in the picture.
和图上的不一样啊
Oh, yeah, you know, every bartender makes it differently.
每个调酒师都有不同的风格
Why don't you give it a try.
尝尝看
All right.
好吧
To the metric system.
敬公制标准
I can't taste the cherries.
尝不出樱桃味
All right. Sheldon, what's on your mind?
好吧 Sheldon 你想诉什么苦?
I wronged Howard, and he won't accept my apology.
我得罪了Howard 他不肯接受我的道歉
Oh, right, that.
这事啊
Yes, Leonard told me. Sorry, honey.

Leonard告诉我了 我很遗憾 亲爱的
Penny, you face failure on a daily basis.
Penny 你每天都面对失败
How do you cope?
你是怎么处理的?
I drink.
喝酒
To drinking.
敬喝酒
Nope.
不行
Oh, if only there were some way to force Howard to accept my apology
如果有办法迫使Howard接受我的道歉
so I could escape this miasma of guilt.
我就能脱离内疚的梦魇了
You know, sometimes stuff just happens,
我跟你说 有时候事情发生了
and there's nothing you can do about it.
就由不得你了
For example, Lisa Peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade,
比方说 Lisa Peterson打高二起就没和我说过话
because no matter how much you apologize,
因为不管我怎么道歉
you can't go back and un-dry-hump someone's boyfriend.
也不能抹煞我勾搭了人家男友的事实
I see.
明白了
You're saying I'm facing Starfleet Academy's
你是说 我所面对的是星际舰队学院
unwinnable command scenario: the Kobayashi Maru.

不可能完成的 小林丸测试
Exactly.
对头
Sometimes you can't win.
有时候就是赢不了
Captain Kirk won.
Kirk船长赢了啊
Kirk cheated.
Kirk作弊了
Impressive that you know that.
你连这个都知道
It's hard to believe I'm actually having this conversation with you.
想不到我居然能和你聊星际迷航
Right there with you.
我也有同感
Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru by reprogramming the simulator.
Kirk重新编写了模拟器程序 营救了小林号的船员
- That's it. - What?
- 有了 - 什么
- I'll reprogram Howard. - What...?
- 我可以重编Howard的程序 - 啥...
Sheldon, you can't reprogram people.
Sheldon 没法给人重编程序
No, you can't reprogram people.
不 是你没法重编
To James Tiberius Kirk.
敬James Tiberius Kirk
Hello, all.
大家好
- Hello. - Hey.

- 你好 - 嗨
Howard, you're feeling better about me today, aren't you?
Howard 你今天对我的看法 想必有所改观了吧
Not really.
没有的事
Yes, you are.
肯定有
I'm using neurolinguistic programming to modify your thought patterns.
我在利用神经语言编程更改你的思维模式
Oh. Go away, Sheldon.
洗洗睡吧 Sheldon
There's a $$9.95 e-book down the drain.
$$9.95的电子书完全不中用嘛
What's in the bag?
袋子里装的啥?
It's for Howard.
是给Howard的
Oh. Sheldon, you can't fix this with gifts.
Sheldon 送礼物也不能解决问题
Nevertheless, I've hurt you,
无论如何 我伤害了你
and whether you forgive me or not,
不管你是否原谅我
I want you to have this.
我都要把这个送给你
You're giving me a couch cushion?
你送我一个沙发坐垫?
No.
不
The cushion is merely symbolic.

坐垫只是个象征
I'm giving you my spot on the couch.
我把我的位子送给你
But you love that spot.
你爱那个位子啊
No. I love my mother.
不 我爱我妈妈
My feelings for my spot are much greater.
我对那个位子的感情还要深厚
It is the singular location in space
那是我整个宇宙空间的奇点
around which revolves my entire universe.
我的一切皆围绕它转动
And now it's yours.
现在它是你的了
Oh, my God, dude. Now you have to forgive him.
天哪 你一定得原谅他
All right. Apology accepted.
好吧 我接受你的道歉
High five.
击掌
Not too hard.
别太用力
Thank you.
谢谢
????
《玩具总动员3》之后 我还没这么哭过
I got to tell you, Sheldon, I understand why you chose this spot.
我得说 Sheldon 我知道你为什么选这里了
I mean, the temperature is good, but there's no draft.

温度刚刚好 又不会受风
I can see the television, but I can still talk to...
即能看到电视又能和大家聊...
I changed my mind. Get out of my spot.
我改主意了 把我的位子还给我
How long?
多长时间?
94 seconds.
94秒