经典幽默英语故事(30个)(1)
别妄想泡我
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2021年01月17日 11:00
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本文由作者推荐
伤感的群名-七年级上册数学书
经典幽默英语故事（
50
个）
要求：
1
、每天阅读两篇小故事，写出故事大意，尽量理解故事里的幽默点。
2< br>、在阅读故事的过程中，遇到不认识的单词，先不要查字典。
阅读
完小故事后，可以查一 查文章里的词汇，并做一些笔记。
3
、开学后，请把这
14
页的阅 读素材，装订成册，上交给各班的英语
老师。老师会根据你的完成情况，给你的阅读作业打出分数。
姓
名
：
_________
班
级
：
_________
学
号
：
_________
成
绩
：
_________
第一篇
My First and My Last
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to
fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of
tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take
Mark up in his plane. Mark thought,
several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go.
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all
kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and
he said to his friend in a shaking voice,
very much for those two trips in your plane.
Gerogy was very surprised and said,
故
事
大
意
：
_______ __________________________________________________ ______________________
________________________ __________________________________________________ _____
_________________________________________ ______________________________________
________ __________________________________________________ _____________________
第二篇
First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about
air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own
small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his
friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His
friend
started
the
engine
and
began
to
taxi
onto
the
runway
of
the
airport.
Mr.
Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and
the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane,
and
said
to
his
friend,
at
those
people
down
there.
They
look
as
small
as
ants,
don't they
故
事
大
意
：
___ __________________________________________________ __________________________
____________________ __________________________________________________ _________
_____________________________________ __________________________________________
____ __________________________________________________ _________________________
第三篇
A Nail Or A Fly
？
An
old
gentleman
whose
eyesight
was
failing
came
to
stay
in
a
hotel
room
with
a
bottle
of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the
moment
he
hung
them
on,
the
bottles
fell
broken
and
the
wine
spilt
all
over
the
floor.
When a waitress discovered what
had happened,
she showed deep sympathy for him and
decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered
a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the
accident.
When
he
looked
up
at
the
wall,
he
found
the
fly
was
there
again!
He
walked
to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the
kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To
her great
surprise, the poor old
man was there
sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
< br>故
事
大
意
：
______________________ __________________________________________________ _______
_______________________________________ ________________________________________
______ __________________________________________________ _______________________
_______________________ __________________________________________________ ______
第四篇
I'll See to the Rest
A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl s
tanding on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside
the carriage.
故
事
大
意
：
________________________________________ _______________________________________
_______ __________________________________________________ ______________________
________________________ __________________________________________________ _____
_________________________________________ ______________________________________
第五篇
Chaude and Cold
A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
is an outrage,
live in Montreal.
course,
said
the
manager,
stands
for
cold.
After
all,
Montreal
is
a
bilingual
city.
故
事
大< br>意
：
_____________________________________ __________________________________________
____ __________________________________________________ _________________________
_____________________ __________________________________________________ ________
______________________________________ _________________________________________
第六篇
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr.
Robinson
had
to
travel
somewhere
on
business,
and
as
he
was
in
a
hurry,
he
decided
to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got
on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had
been
taken
except
for
one.
There
was
a
soldier
sitting
in
the
seat
beside
this
one,
and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but,
anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written
in ink and said,
Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought
that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked
on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they
too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful
girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming
in,
quickly
took
the
notice
off
the
seat
beside
himself
and
in
this
way
succeededin
having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
故
事
大
意
：
____ __________________________________________________ _________________________
_____________________ __________________________________________________ ________
______________________________________ _________________________________________
_____ __________________________________________________ ________________________
第七篇
New Discovery
A
hillbilly
was
visiting
the
big
city
for
the
first
time.
Entering
an
office
building,
he
saw
a
pudgy
older
woman
step
into
a
small
room.
The
doors
closed,
lights
flashed,
and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the
elevator.
Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled,
故
事< br>大
意
：
________________________________ _______________________________________________
_________________________________________________ ______________________________
________________ __________________________________________________ _____________
_________________________________ ______________________________________________
第八篇
A Bad Impression
Six
people
were
travelling
in
a
compartment
on
a
train.
Five
of
them
were
quiet
and
well behaved, but the sixth was a rude young man who was causing a lot of trouble
to the other passengers.
At last this young man got out at a station with his two heavy bags. None of the
other passengers helped him, but one of them waited until the rude young man was
very far away and then opened the window and shouted to him,
behind in the compartment!
The young man truned around and hurried back with his two bags. He was very tired
when he arrived, but he shouted through the window,
As the train began to move again, the passenger who had called him back opened the
window and said,
故
事
大
意
：
___________ __________________________________________________ __________________
____________________________ __________________________________________________ _
_____________________________________________ __________________________________
____________ __________________________________________________ _________________
第九篇
Sleeping Pills
Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, wh
o prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.
Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the a
larm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss:
故
事
大
意
：
____________ __________________________________________________ _________________
_____________________________ __________________________________________________
______________________________________________ _________________________________
_____________ __________________________________________________ ________________
第十篇
Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few
qualifications.
Asked
about
additional
schooling
and
training,
I
answered
truthfully
that
I had
spent three years in computer programming
classes. I got the
job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I
passed.
故
事
大
意
：
_____________________________ __________________________________________________
______________________________________________ _________________________________
_____________ __________________________________________________ ________________
______________________________ _________________________________________________< br>
第
11
篇
Reminder
In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pet
s are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual ra
bies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitt
en anyone in the last ten days.
plied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminde
r.
rd.
故
事
大
意
：
_____ __________________________________________________ ________________________
______________________ __________________________________________________ _______
_______________________________________ ________________________________________
______ __________________________________________________ _______________________
第
12
篇
Imitate Birds
A man tried to get a job in a stage show.
I
guess
that's
that.
said
the
actor,
as
he
spread
his
arms
and
flew
out
the
window.
故
事
大意
：
______________________________________ _________________________________________
_____ __________________________________________________ ________________________
______________________ __________________________________________________ _______
_______________________________________ ________________________________________
第
13
篇
How Did You Ever Get Here
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes
late.
was
so
slippery
out
that
for
every
step
I
took
ahead,
I
slipped
back
two.
The boss eyed him suspiciously.
故
事
大
意
：
_____________________ __________________________________________________ ________
______________________________________ _________________________________________
_____ __________________________________________________ ________________________
______________________ __________________________________________________ _______
第
14
篇
Three Surgeons
Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills.
his hand cut off,
nothing,
said
another.
guy
came
to
me
who
had
his
legs
cut
off.
I
stitched
them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.
accident. There was nothing left but a horse's posterior - and a pair of glasses.